Doc's mephitic Sunday School (silent but deadly since 2013)
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 9 Votes - 4.22 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
01-03-2014, 06:54 AM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
Silly.
Goliath was a very common name at that time.

Or, David had a pseudonym.

Or one of them was Goliath the pitbull terrier.

Maybe.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
01-03-2014, 07:22 AM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
(23-02-2014 07:09 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  So, some fool elsewhere in this forum suggested that Jesus was a Jedi because he was born of a virgin. The idea, while impossible, may have some merits. Since Jedi have superhuman speed and strength, it might explain some of Jesus' miracles. We know that he had superhuman speed, since that is how he vanished in front of the two disciples at Emmaus. Could that speed have helped him walk across the water?




Walking on water

Emmaus is interesting. They didn't recognize him, even while walking and talking with him. That's a bummer for those that say he rose from the dead with an actual physical body. What sort of real actual physical "risen" body" has *holes* in it (for Thomas the Doubter to stick his hand into), and is unrecognizable ? ... what indeed. A Hebrew "shade", that's what. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheol Also at the end of Matthew just before he left for good, they saw him again, they still didn't recognize him, (28:17). It says they doubted.

So Doc, how often in the clinic do you see shades coming in for post-crucifixion hole repairs ? Is there an ICD - 9/10 code for that ? Do you suture them up, or just stick a band-aid over 'em. Or do they generally just go to Urgent Care ?

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
01-03-2014, 08:40 AM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
(01-03-2014 07:22 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  So Doc, how often in the clinic do you see shades coming in for post-crucifixion hole repairs ? Is there an ICD - 9/10 code for that ? Do you suture them up, or just stick a band-aid over 'em. Or do they generally just go to Urgent Care ?

I dunno. As an endoscopist, as far as I am concerned, there are only two holes in the human body that are of any significance. I send all others to see the OB-GYN or surgeon.

Doc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like docskeptic's post
01-03-2014, 08:48 AM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
(01-03-2014 08:40 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(01-03-2014 07:22 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  So Doc, how often in the clinic do you see shades coming in for post-crucifixion hole repairs ? Is there an ICD - 9/10 code for that ? Do you suture them up, or just stick a band-aid over 'em. Or do they generally just go to Urgent Care ?

I dunno. As an endoscopist, as far as I am concerned, there are only two holes in the human body that are of any significance. I send all others to see the OB-GYN or surgeon.

Doc

Laugh out load Jesus needed the ob-gyn, obvs. Big Grin

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
01-03-2014, 10:57 AM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
(01-03-2014 08:40 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(01-03-2014 07:22 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  So Doc, how often in the clinic do you see shades coming in for post-crucifixion hole repairs ? Is there an ICD - 9/10 code for that ? Do you suture them up, or just stick a band-aid over 'em. Or do they generally just go to Urgent Care ?

I dunno. As an endoscopist, as far as I am concerned, there are only two holes in the human body that are of any significance. I send all others to see the OB-GYN or surgeon.

Doc

Then there should be a class called Doc's Chorionic Sunday School.
Tongue

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bucky Ball's post
01-03-2014, 01:23 PM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
(01-03-2014 08:48 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  
(01-03-2014 08:40 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  I dunno. As an endoscopist, as far as I am concerned, there are only two holes in the human body that are of any significance. I send all others to see the OB-GYN or surgeon.

Doc

:lol: Jesus needed the ob-gyn, obvs. :D

Why? Earlier in the thread, I proved that Jesus was a male. I think he needed a psychiatrist and near the end of his life, a trauma team.

Speaking o'which - Could Jesus have received a blood transfusion from anyone? Conversely, could he have donated blood to anyone? Why or why not? What would be the physiologic result of such a transfusion?

Doc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
01-03-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
(01-03-2014 01:23 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(01-03-2014 08:48 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  Laugh out load Jesus needed the ob-gyn, obvs. Big Grin

Why? Earlier in the thread, I proved that Jesus was a male. I think he needed a psychiatrist and near the end of his life, a trauma team.

Speaking o'which - Could Jesus have received a blood transfusion from anyone? Conversely, could he have donated blood to anyone? Why or why not? What would be the physiologic result of such a transfusion?

Doc

Depends. I'll go to Mass tomorrow and send some blood in for a type and crossmatch.

Oh wait...umm...better get ready for some anaphylaxis.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
01-03-2014, 02:08 PM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
Wouldn't Jesus just be able to use wine that he says has been changed into his blood? I think he is the universal donor for the Catholics. Seems like problem solved to me.

First you change the water to wine, then you change the wine to holy blood.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
01-03-2014, 02:10 PM
RE: DOC'S CHRONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT JUST GOES ON AND ON...)
(01-03-2014 01:23 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
Speaking o'which - Could Jesus have received a blood transfusion from anyone? Conversely, could he have donated blood to anyone? Why or why not? What would be the physiologic result of such a transfusion?

Doc

Before or after resurrection / deification?

Actually, no, definitely not.

On the assumption that he met and saw his dad, Jesus would have been the original witness of Jehovah.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes DLJ's post
02-03-2014, 08:38 PM (This post was last modified: 02-03-2014 09:27 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S THEOPHOBIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(28-02-2014 03:48 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Hey Doc I have a legit question about the story of David and Goliath. I was reading the KJV version and got a bit confused during 1 Samuel 17:50-51.
Where did David get his sword? If you look back at 1 Samuel 17:39-40, he didn't take one with him. Then if you look at 1 Samuel 17:4-7 you'll notice there's no mention of Goliath having a sword either...

Im_Ryan,
The story of David and Goliath is not as straightforward as it is made out to be. There are several problems with the story:
1. When Saul sends David out to battle the giant, Saul does not recognize David, despite the fact that David was his own personal minstrel.
2. In 1 Sam 17:50, it says that David killed Goliath with a stone, but in v. 51 it says that after the giant fell down, David drew Goliath's sword, killed the giant and then cut off his head.
3. When Goliath was first struck by the stone on his forehead, he falls face froward, rather than backward, but that may be a minor point.
4. The armor that Goliath was wearing was not worn by Philistine soldiers in the 10th century BCE and is an indication of the late composition of Samuel.
5. The KJV and later bibles list his height as 9'6" or thereabouts, but the Septuagint lists it as 6'9" or thereabouts.
6. Both 2 Sam. 21:19 and 1 Chron. 20:5 say that Goliath was slain by Elhanan not David.

With all the problems in the story the question of where David got the sword to decapitate the giant is moot, but it was probably Goliath's own sword that 1 Sam. 17 neglected to mention.

Interestingly, David later gets the sword of Goliath for his own use when he is on the run from Saul by lying to the priest, 1 Samuel 21:1-9. As a resullt, 85 priests were executed by Saul. So much for David being a man after God's own heart and God protecting his own priests.

Doc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: