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15-11-2013, 02:06 PM
RE: DOC'S ASTHMATIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S A WHEEZE!)
(15-11-2013 10:24 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Doc: ¡Ay, chihuahua!

Plus if it was my daughter's life on the line I think some creativity with pig blood and laundry might be called for...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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16-11-2013, 12:32 PM (This post was last modified: 16-11-2013 12:51 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
Doc: Listen up class. Time for another pop quiz! No, morondog, you may not be excused and you can go to the bathroom after the quiz. Selecting a choice from each of the following columns, explain your eschatological stance in a 500 word essay:

Column A________ Column B

A-tribulational----------Amillenial
Pre-tribulational--------Premillenial
Mid-tribulational------- Postmillenial
Post-tribulational

5 bonus points for not using any of our vocabulary words: Myth, fable, stupid, dystopia, delusional, silly or huh?.

5 extra bonus points or a free fortune cookie for picking more than 1 item from each column.

Your time starts....now.

Doc
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16-11-2013, 12:42 PM
RE: DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
I think you're delusional for believing that your stupid fable is anything but a silly dystopian myth. What do you have to say about that, huh?

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16-11-2013, 12:44 PM
RE: DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
Damn Doc, I ran out of time just looking up all the fancy words. And what have wasps and ants got to do with the end times, well except there will be lots of dead bodies for them to munch on.
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16-11-2013, 12:50 PM
RE: DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
(16-11-2013 12:32 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
Postribulational
...

Sir, sir, sir...

Did you mean pos-tribulational or post-ribulational or post-tribulational?

And wot duz scatty-logical mean?

Unsure

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16-11-2013, 12:53 PM
RE: DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
(16-11-2013 12:50 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(16-11-2013 12:32 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
Postribulational
...

Sir, sir, sir...

Did you mean pos-tribulational or post-ribulational or post-tribulational?

And wot duz scatty-logical mean?

Unsure

I'm sure I don't know what you mean!

Editorially yours,
Doc
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16-11-2013, 01:27 PM
RE: DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
(16-11-2013 12:32 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Doc: Listen up class. Time for another pop quiz! No, morondog, you may not be excused and you can go to the bathroom after the quiz. Selecting a choice from each of the following columns, explain your eschatological stance in a 500 word essay:

Column A________ Column B

Atribulational----------Amillenial
Pretribulational--------Premillenial
Midtribulational------- Postmillenial
Postribulational

5 bonus points for not using any of our vocabulary words: Myth, fable, stupid, dystopia, delusional, silly or huh?.

5 extra bonus points or a free fortune cookie for picking more than 1 item from each column.

Your time starts....now.

Doc

The Book of Revelation, often accredited to John of Patmos, is a sometimes apocryphal and definitely apocalyptic work used by Christian fundamentalists to describe what the supposed End of Days and the Return of the God-Man Jesus Christ will be like. The Atribulational/Amillenialist consider the entire book to be a parable (or they reject it outright as the hallucinations of a madman) These more liberal followers also tend to ignore huge swaths of the old testament as no longer applying to modern Christians.

Of the Pretribulationists/Pre-millenialists they consider the Book to be true prophecy (despite our earlier lessons on how soothsaying and fortune-telling was actually verboten and prophets were rather in charge of delivering “God’s Word” to the people of their time not making predictions) but feel that the conditions have not yet been met to begin the tribulation and the opening of the seals. This is the group that most favors the Rapture of “True Christians” before the events described happen, despite there being no mention of such an event in the text. Billy Graham and Jerry Falwell are two notable members of this group.

Midtribulational/Postmillenial Christians believe that God has already begun the countdown to the end of days by releasing the Anti-Christ (The First of the 4 Horsemen) upon the earth. This figure is the one that will supposedly form the 1 world government (usually through some extension of the UN) and then found a competing religion with Him as the center of worship. Every war that breaks out, every new leader elected, every news story only furthers the belief that the seals are being broken and the Anti-Christ is at work. US Presidents are often the target of speculation as being the Anti-Christ Several Popes (throughout history) have also been accused. The hysteria of the witch hunt tends to infect the followers of this sect and they tend to be tribally inclined to the extreme. Only a select group of like-minded believers will receive the promised gifts of Heaven on earth and eternal life in the presence of their Lord Jesus Christ. All others, whether believers of the wrong sects of Christianity non-Christians or Atheists, will be cast into the pit of fire along with the Anti-Christ and his false Prophet to be tormented for all eternity. Satan will also be cast into the pit but his term is only 1000 years after which he will be let out to torment those born in the Millennial Kingdom. Those that pass the test will then be transported into Heaven to live for the rest of eternity with God. That would be the Post-tribulation.

During the actual tribulation 3 sets of 7 judgments are supposed to befall the remaining humans on earth. Each being worse than the preceding they culminate with the Stars falling out of the sky and the Sun going Black. The world is left in utter darkness until Jesus returns bringing with him the light of God. These events of course are all subject to various interpretations and have led to much speculation. However when one reads this text without the Presupposition of fundamentalist belief it comes off as a third rate horror movie mixed with a drug induced hallucination.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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16-11-2013, 01:34 PM
RE: DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
^^^
535 words.

No

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16-11-2013, 01:36 PM
RE: DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
Holy shit (literally), Revenant77x I am going to jump in here and offer you an A+.

Oddly Revelations is the only book in the bible I have read in its entirety. How anyone can conclude anything from that book other than the author was bat shit crazy or was way stoned out of their mind is beyond me.
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16-11-2013, 03:32 PM
DOC'S HYMENOPTERIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THE BEE'S KNEES)
(16-11-2013 12:50 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(16-11-2013 12:32 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
Postribulational
...

Sir, sir, sir...

Did you mean pos-tribulational or post-ribulational or post-tribulational?

And wot duz scatty-logical mean?

Unsure

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scatology

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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