Does Christian Religion encourage complacency within abusive domestic relationships?
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06-02-2013, 10:30 PM
RE: Does Christian Religion
I was going to post a long insightful thought on the matter but the long subject line was too frustrating. Perhaps later.

The subject is too long. Please enter a subject shorter than 85 characters (currently 88).

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06-02-2013, 10:33 PM
RE: Does Christian Religion
The original subject is only 85 characters long. The software ads RE: to each response in the subject line for a total of 88.

Hmm... kinda frustrating when a machine chastises you for something it did.
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06-02-2013, 10:47 PM
RE: Does Christian Religion etc?
(06-02-2013 09:44 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  Yes it does. And while I empathize with those women I'm a lot more concerned for children in this matter because adult women in an abusive relationship are infinitely more capable of absenting themselves than are abused children.
They're really not, you know. Where will they go? The preacher supports the husband and the flock supports the preacher - often including the wife's own relatives. And God - everybody knows this! - likes women to shut up and serve their lord. He might even let them into heaven, if they bear enough pain (and babies) patiently enough.... unless they've had an impure thought or talked back. Many women - perhaps most? - stay precisely because of the children, trying to protect them (and the pets and livestock as well) by taking the brunt of the abuse, because - well, who else will protect them?

It's all part of the same thing: a culture of lordship.

It's not the mean god I have trouble with - it's the people who worship a mean god.
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06-02-2013, 10:52 PM
RE: Does Christian Religion etc?
Those are good points with regard to religious households but the fact still remains that women have more options than children. And the younger the child, the fewer options he/she has. In fact, children are treated more as property than they are sovereign human beings, which is deplorable.

In the end, a woman (or a man) has options that a child simply does not.
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06-02-2013, 11:35 PM
RE: Does Christian Religion
Sure. If she ditched the kids, she might get free. The kids can never be free, until they're big enough to fight back or run away. That's how women get stuck: if they can't carry the kids, they can't run, and they won't leave the kids. On the other hand, the law is a lot more likely to step in when a child is known to be abused than when an adult is known to be abused. (And almost nobody, ever, steps in if the victim of domestic violence is a man. Just saying, to be fair.)

(The stupid subject line again! Why do we need it at all - can't we remember what the topic was?)

It's not the mean god I have trouble with - it's the people who worship a mean god.
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07-02-2013, 12:20 AM
RE: Does Christian Religion
Kids don't get much help from the law unless the parent is horribly abusive. If a kid runs away the cops will go after him and he'll likely wind up back in the house with the abuser. When a spouse leaves, the cops don't chase. And... children are often the target of two abusers.

There's simply no way to argue that children have any reasonable chance of fleeing an abusive home. They can not choose where to be, they can not choose to leave unless they can prove severe abuse and they are not treated, by the law or society, as sovereign beings. To wit:

If your boss hits you it's called assault.
If your spouse hits you it's called domestic violence.
If a cop hits you it's called police brutality.
If you hit your kid, it's called discipline.
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07-02-2013, 12:39 AM
RE:
I can't speak for other incarnations of Christianity, but in the doctrine of the Jehovah's Witnesses, the one single thing that justifies divorce is infidelity.

By default, this means that a woman can't leave her husband if he beats her.

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07-02-2013, 01:35 AM (This post was last modified: 07-02-2013 01:45 AM by Mark Fulton.)
RE: Does Christian Religion encourage complacency?
(06-02-2013 05:22 PM)amyb Wrote:  
(06-02-2013 03:21 PM)Aseptic Skeptic Wrote:  However, there are lots of other reasons that women (and sometimes men) stay with an abusive partner, reasons that have nothing to do with religion but rather with psychology. Those reasons are much more likely to come into play with people not leaving abusive partners.

My guess is that a Christian without those reasons is just as likely to leave an abuser as a non-Christian would be. More or less.

Now, you didn't ask about Islam - my answer for that religion would be quite a bit different. For that matter, any religion that does not allow divorce and forces an abused faithful member to remain with her (or his) abuser for religions reasons even when that person wants out. But that is not the case for (most flavors of) Christianity. Also what Cathym112 said about sexual shame often being a factor, and religion focuses so much on sexuality it would be difficult to completely separate it from other issues.
I agree that other reasons exist, but I do think Christianity influences the decision, and this is because of knowing people in abusive relationships who were Christian. It took my one aunt 40 years to leave her husband (separated, not divorced. She got an apartment) because of Christianity. Obviously she wanted to, because she did it, but she was too hung up on the idea that god wants you to work things out/suffer through it rather than leave. (She also had a lot of religious problems because one of her sons is gay. This is fucking insane because her other son is an abusive alcoholic, yet she has a problem with the other one, who is a nice guy, just because he's gay).

My dad was an alcoholic and addicted to painkillers. He never beat anyone up, but he could be an asshole. My mom considered leaving him for a long time, and would tell me her [very religious] cousins kept telling her she should never even THINK of leaving, because christians should not get divorced, no matter what. Like, literally no matter what.

I see a lot of that in older generations, and I certainly hope it is changing (for the sake potentially abused and even unhappy people), but I still think christianity can have an impact. I think peer pressure plays in, too, the idea of failing at your marriage, being unable to handle whatever, what will the neighbors think, etc.
Thankyou for sharing this. I agree.

I can't post my spiel either. Can someone fix this?
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07-02-2013, 01:45 AM
RE: Does Christian Religion
(06-02-2013 10:33 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  Hmm... kinda frustrating when a machine chastises you for something it did.
Sounds like God. Consider

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07-02-2013, 02:02 AM
RE: Does Christian Religion
So god did it, eh?

Goddammit.
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