Does Christian Religion encourage complacency within abusive domestic relationships?
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07-02-2013, 09:49 AM
Does Christian Religion encourage complacency within abusive domestic relationships?
(06-02-2013 01:28 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  Does the overall depiction of women in holy books, combined with the mentality the believes that God allows bad things to happen - because he is "testing" our love, our faith and our steadfastness in one of his many mysterious ways - contribute to the battered spouse sydrome? Does it encourage victims of domestic abuse to stay with their abuser because they have a deep rooted notion that "s/he loves me and s/he is doing what is best for me, I just need to trust s/he".
Well, there's no general rule, it's a case-by-case basis.

That said, yes, there are lots and lots of cases. Ask at any battered woman's shelter, and they'll relate stories of exactly what the OP is asking about.

"If I ignore the alternatives, the only option is God; I ignore them; therefore God." -- The Syllogism of Fail
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07-02-2013, 10:10 AM
RE: Does Christian Religion
(07-02-2013 12:20 AM)bbeljefe Wrote:  There's simply no way to argue that children have any reasonable chance of fleeing an abusive home. They can not choose where to be,
I wasn't arguing that - quite the opposite. I do share your concern for children - just saying that very often in an abusive situation, the existence of children traps the mother as well. Indeed, religious tyrants make damn sure of this by getting their captives pregnant as often as possible.

Of course children are not autonomous - they're incapable. You simply can't turn a six-year-old into a functional citizen. Decisions regarding their welfare and disposition need to be made by adults.
Boys are usually 13-15 before they hit back - and then get walloped more severely and often, because they're not strong enough. Both boys and girls begin to run away at around 12, and the number of escapees rises each year thereafter. Since they can't well survive on the street at an early age, many of the runaways fall into even more abusive situations (We are, sadly, a species that preys on its own young!).
Legal interference in domestic matters, as well as regarding runaways, varies widely by region and enforcement philosophy. Here again, highly religious communities (xtian, muslim, hindu) tend to enforce patriarchal "rights" of dominion and discipline, while progressive secular communities tend to enforce the individual rights of both women and children, and offer more help to the abused. Even there, however, the helping agencies are severely hampered by financial restrictrictions - imposed in no small part by the religiously-supported conservative element.

It's not the mean god I have trouble with - it's the people who worship a mean god.
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07-02-2013, 10:42 AM
RE: Does Christian Religion encourage complacency
Hey, Cathy.

Well, it's like Prego; it's in there. Religion, any religion, is a part of our psychosocial development. The caveat being that Christianity as a whole is in there. So it will contribute in some places and help people escape in others and be preventative in still other cases. As in all things, it's complicated.

I do happen to know someone who works for a religious organisation that councils women coming out of conjugal violence situations. So there's that.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
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07-02-2013, 11:18 AM
Just to Clarify - I was not abused
I thank everyone for their input. I just want to clarify that I am not, nor have I ever been, in an abusive relationship. I consider myself lucky.
My thought process arose because when I was younger, my mother refused to allow me to watch Disney princess movies such as beauty and the beast because of the overall message that "if i can just love him enough, the beast will turn into a prince."
Ariel the mermaid doesn't have a voice against her accuser, etc.
As an adult, I agree with her that (with a few exceptions) Disney doesn't create a strong female character. I plan to keep any daughters away from that as much as I can.
It just got me thinking about Religion contributing to the "It was for my own good" mentality that keeps them from going.
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07-02-2013, 11:33 AM
Does Christian Religion encourage complacency within abusive domestic relationships?
(06-02-2013 01:28 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  Does the overall depiction of women in holy books, combined with the mentality the believes that God allows bad things to happen - because he is "testing" our love, our faith and our steadfastness in one of his many mysterious ways - contribute to the battered spouse sydrome? Does it encourage victims of domestic abuse to stay with their abuser because they have a deep rooted notion that "s/he loves me and s/he is doing what is best for me, I just need to trust s/he".
I think it somewhat depends on which religion. Some certainly encourage the subordination of women which is a precursor, but I don't know if any encourage abuse directly. Regarding the staying married part, I think the reason might be more along the lines of the holy union and not breaking it as opposed to claiming there is real love under that abuse somewhere.

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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07-02-2013, 12:23 PM
RE: Does Christian Religion etc?
Which religions do not predicate the primacy of man, obedience of sons, subservience of all woman and objectification of children?

It's not the mean god I have trouble with - it's the people who worship a mean god.
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07-02-2013, 12:52 PM
?
(07-02-2013 11:33 AM)Impulse Wrote:  
(06-02-2013 01:28 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  "I think it somewhat depends on which religion. Some certainly encourage the subordination of women which is a precursor, but I don't know if any encourage abuse directly...."


You mght be missing my point. I'm not implying that religion promotes abuse. But more that it implants the idea that punishment is because God loves you. And therefore your husband/wife is punishing you because they love you..
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07-02-2013, 01:00 PM
RE: Does Christian Religion etc?
(06-02-2013 10:47 PM)Peterkin Wrote:  
(06-02-2013 09:44 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  Yes it does. And while I empathize with those women I'm a lot more concerned for children in this matter because adult women in an abusive relationship are infinitely more capable of absenting themselves than are abused children.
They're really not, you know. Where will they go? The preacher supports the husband and the flock supports the preacher - often including the wife's own relatives. And God - everybody knows this! - likes women to shut up and serve their lord. He might even let them into heaven, if they bear enough pain (and babies) patiently enough.... unless they've had an impure thought or talked back. Many women - perhaps most? - stay precisely because of the children, trying to protect them (and the pets and livestock as well) by taking the brunt of the abuse, because - well, who else will protect them?

It's all part of the same thing: a culture of lordship.
Abusers tend to cut women off from friends and family. At times, the grocery store is off limits. But they all seem to be allowed to go to church - what could possibly happen there? The abuser's message is reinforced by religion disguised as "love." You'll be fine as soon as you die. Suck it up in the meantime.

And that makes it all Ooooookay!

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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07-02-2013, 01:36 PM
RE: Does Christian Religion
"You simply can't turn a six-year-old into a functional citizen."


That's true only if you define functional for children the same way you define it for an adult. And if you insist upon universalizing the definition of functional you must also consider Stephen Hawking and your future elderly & infirm self to be dysfunctional.
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