Does anyone got any jokes?
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01-08-2011, 07:12 PM
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
(01-08-2011 11:08 AM)theophilus Wrote:  
(28-07-2011 11:33 AM)digitali Wrote:  Stranger:*knock,knock*
Me:"Who's there"
Stranger:"Jesus"
Me:"Jesus who?"
Stranger:"Jesus Christ you damn idiot.How many guys you know with 'Jesus' as there first name, now open the damn door so I can slap you!"
Whoever wrote this joke obviously doesn't have any Hispanics living in his neighborhood.

Yeah, in my neighborhood my answer would've been "I dunno ... maybe 50?"

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02-08-2011, 10:24 AM
Star RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
(01-08-2011 07:12 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(01-08-2011 11:08 AM)theophilus Wrote:  
(28-07-2011 11:33 AM)digitali Wrote:  Stranger:*knock,knock*
Me:"Who's there"
Stranger:"Jesus"
Me:"Jesus who?"
Stranger:"Jesus Christ you damn idiot.How many guys you know with 'Jesus' as there first name, now open the damn door so I can slap you!"
Whoever wrote this joke obviously doesn't have any Hispanics living in his neighborhood.

Yeah, in my neighborhood my answer would've been "I dunno ... maybe 50?"

And that's not counting those who may have "Jesus" or "de Jesus" as (one of) their middle name(s) or as one of their surnames. Hispanic naming customs allow for a lot of room to slip a "Jesús" on many kids' names.

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08-08-2011, 10:59 AM
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
It was my mate's funeral this week. He was always a practical joker, and fair play, he made us laugh right to the end. Silly fucker had the coffin rigged somehow so that when it was being lowered into the ground, a tape of him saying, "Ha! Fooled you... I'm alive!" started playing. It was followed by things like, "Lads... Really. I'm not dead, let me out!"

We were all in stitches. Even the Vicar was pissing himself.

RIP Dave... Fucking legend.

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08-08-2011, 11:04 AM
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
What if he wasn't dead?

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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08-08-2011, 11:31 AM
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
(08-08-2011 11:04 AM)lucradis Wrote:  What if he wasn't dead?

He wasnt that was the joke

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08-08-2011, 11:47 AM
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
Did you check?

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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08-08-2011, 12:24 PM
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
My wife just saw a news article 'World's oldest person' dies at 114'

'Wow!' she said '...the way medicine and science is going, I bet we have people reaching 150 years old within the next 10 years!'

Stupid bitch.


made me giggle

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08-08-2011, 12:29 PM (This post was last modified: 08-08-2011 12:30 PM by FSM_scot.)
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
Quote:Did you check?
I think I better get a shovel
(08-08-2011 12:24 PM)James The Brit Wrote:  My wife just saw a news article 'World's oldest person' dies at 114'

'Wow!' she said '...the way medicine and science is going, I bet we have people reaching 150 years old within the next 10 years!'

Stupid bitch.


made me giggle

Glad to see I'm not the only person to browse sikipedia

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08-08-2011, 12:33 PM
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
Quote:Glad to see I'm not the only person to browse sikipedia


Lol, i love the ones about the riots.

Sikipedia is awesome.

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08-08-2011, 12:36 PM
RE: Does anyone got any jokes?
This one made me laugh.
Aaron Lennon takes it on his chest and brings it down, passes it to Bassong who runs with it before laying it off to Huddlestone, Defoe spots a window and makes a run, Huddlestone sees him and makes the pass and Defoe puts it away nicely.

"Right lads," says Palacios, "let's get one more Plasma before the fucking pigs get here."

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