Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
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16-01-2016, 02:36 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 02:17 PM)julep Wrote:  
(16-01-2016 01:59 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Not hot people need love too, we also can be quite awesome loving human beings. Sad

Sorry! Not meaning to imply anything negative, just riffing off Izel's hot guy reference. It seemed to me almost as if my guy and her guy needed to be cross-bred somehow to be in the same movie…

It was more the gesture that was off-putting to me than the guy's hotness, to be honest.

As I myself am not (currently) hot, either--I am a 20-years-married lady with an 18-year-old son--I found it unsettling and it made me just want to run the other way. It was 7:30 in the morning, I wasn't caffeinated enough to deal.

HeartShy

It's alright. No slight taken and no criticism intended. Hug

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16-01-2016, 03:12 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 01:40 PM)julep Wrote:  I got serenaded by a guy at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago. In the dairy aisle. Unfortunately he was not hot. I did a wheelie with my cart and ran the other way--wound up leaving without buying my milk.
Was his singing at least decent?Consider

I got back from the grocery store earlier, and some woman in line was loudly chastising (who I presume to be) her husband for grabbing whole milk (instead of skim or the other reduced fat varieties). This was at Wal-Mart, so I guess it shouldn't be a surprise.
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16-01-2016, 03:24 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 03:12 PM)UndauntedToast Wrote:  
(16-01-2016 01:40 PM)julep Wrote:  I got serenaded by a guy at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago. In the dairy aisle. Unfortunately he was not hot. I did a wheelie with my cart and ran the other way--wound up leaving without buying my milk.
Was his singing at least decent?Consider

I got back from the grocery store earlier, and some woman in line was loudly chastising (who I presume to be) her husband for grabbing whole milk (instead of skim or the other reduced fat varieties). This was at Wal-Mart, so I guess it shouldn't be a surprise.

Mostly on pitch, so decent, yeah. Smile

Recently I was in a (different) grocery store and it seemed like a bunch of people who had flunked anger management class had bused in together. There were couples arguing in almost every aisle. I have never experienced anything like it. Have seen my share of cash register meltdowns, but they usually feature three-year-olds.
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16-01-2016, 05:30 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 07:26 AM)yakherder Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 10:40 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  Love is just a chemical reactiion that compels animals to breed. People apply woo-like connotaton to this phenomena, but woo is woo nonetheless. Everything about intimate relationships between the sexes holds basis in mating imperatives. Once you accept this as the truism that it is - and once you realise that these imperatives care not about 'fairness' but only about increasing the probability for the species continued existence - love loses all mysticism and all allure.

Every impulse we have is the end result of a chemical reaction. I'd agree that knowing this decreases the mysticism, but not the allure. Hunger is also chemically produced, but knowing this doesn't prevent me from enjoying good food. It merely helps me understand why I do.

I'm saying that love doesn't exist. What exists is the drive to mate. Satisfying the urge to mate is the allure to come together. There is no allure to *stay* together once you realise that you only came together because you found eachother to be suitable mates. Why? Because there is always a mate with higher reproduction value, and the drive to mate - the allure; the 'love' - then goes to the specimen with better reproduction value.
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16-01-2016, 06:07 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 05:30 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  
(16-01-2016 07:26 AM)yakherder Wrote:  Every impulse we have is the end result of a chemical reaction. I'd agree that knowing this decreases the mysticism, but not the allure. Hunger is also chemically produced, but knowing this doesn't prevent me from enjoying good food. It merely helps me understand why I do.

I'm saying that love doesn't exist. What exists is the drive to mate. Satisfying the urge to mate is the allure to come together. There is no allure to *stay* together once you realise that you only came together because you found eachother to be suitable mates. Why? Because there is always a mate with higher reproduction value, and the drive to mate - the allure; the 'love' - then goes to the specimen with better reproduction value.

In many species it is indeed that straight forward. Most mammals mate when and only when the female is in heat. Humans are unique, with our close.relatives the bonobos, in the fact that sex is an important social bonding mechanism and not merely a means of reproduction. We choose to define many of the forms this social bond takes as love.

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16-01-2016, 07:06 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 06:07 PM)yakherder Wrote:  
(16-01-2016 05:30 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  I'm saying that love doesn't exist. What exists is the drive to mate. Satisfying the urge to mate is the allure to come together. There is no allure to *stay* together once you realise that you only came together because you found eachother to be suitable mates. Why? Because there is always a mate with higher reproduction value, and the drive to mate - the allure; the 'love' - then goes to the specimen with better reproduction value.

In many species it is indeed that straight forward. Most mammals mate when and only when the female is in heat. Humans are unique, with our close.relatives the bonobos, in the fact that sex is an important social bonding mechanism and not merely a means of reproduction. We choose to define many of the forms this social bond takes as love.
I don't know if you intended it to or not, but nothing you said here contradicts what was said by myself in the quotes, other than maybe the explicit statement that love doesn't exist - and by that I mean the mystical 'the one' shit. There is always a member of the species out there that one would - if given the chance - pair with over their current mate. Given this, monogamous relationships are pointless, because what people call love doesn't care if one is monogamous; it will alwayse drive one to the potential mate with the best reproduction value.
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16-01-2016, 10:48 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 05:30 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  
(16-01-2016 07:26 AM)yakherder Wrote:  Every impulse we have is the end result of a chemical reaction. I'd agree that knowing this decreases the mysticism, but not the allure. Hunger is also chemically produced, but knowing this doesn't prevent me from enjoying good food. It merely helps me understand why I do.

I'm saying that love doesn't exist. What exists is the drive to mate. Satisfying the urge to mate is the allure to come together. There is no allure to *stay* together once you realise that you only came together because you found eachother to be suitable mates. Why? Because there is always a mate with higher reproduction value, and the drive to mate - the allure; the 'love' - then goes to the specimen with better reproduction value.

How do you account for the elderly who fall in love and get married. They have no need to mate anymore yet they totally fall in love. How old are you. Just curious.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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16-01-2016, 11:12 PM (This post was last modified: 16-01-2016 11:19 PM by EvolutionKills.)
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 05:30 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  I'm saying that love doesn't exist. What exists is the drive to mate. Satisfying the urge to mate is the allure to come together. There is no allure to *stay* together once you realise that you only came together because you found eachother to be suitable mates. Why? Because there is always a mate with higher reproduction value, and the drive to mate - the allure; the 'love' - then goes to the specimen with better reproduction value.

You do know 'love' and 'lust' are different, right? Consider

That people can enjoy each other's company and find intellectual and emotional fulfillment in one another, and this can be entirely independent of satiating sexual gratification?

I love my best friend, and he is as dear to me as any of my biological siblings; but I don't feel the need to mate with him. Plus your deconstruction entirely ignores all non-heterosexual relationships. Gay couples don't love each other any less because they're unable to mate, likewise a parent's love for their children. Dodgy

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16-01-2016, 11:28 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
Love changes, for the better, as we age. My wife and I have been married 47 years and I love her more today than ever before. But, no woman, including my wife, can get me interested in sex anymore. However, we love to spend time with each other and we have a "date" almost every night. On our date, we snuggle up on the davenport and we watch an hour of something on DVD and then we meet friends at Starbucks. I also love my son and my grandson completely and I don't think there is anything they could do to get me to stop loving them.
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16-01-2016, 11:34 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(16-01-2016 11:12 PM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(16-01-2016 07:06 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  I don't know if you intended it to or not, but nothing you said here contradicts what was said by myself in the quotes, other than maybe the explicit statement that love doesn't exist - and by that I mean the mystical 'the one' shit. There is always a member of the species out there that one would - if given the chance - pair with over their current mate. Given this, monogamous relationships are pointless, because what people call love doesn't care if one is monogamous; it will alwayse drive one to the potential mate with the best reproduction value.

You do know 'love' and 'lust' are different, right? Consider

That people can enjoy each other's company and find intellectual and emotional fulfillment in one another, and this can be entirely independent of satiating sexual gratification?

Yes. In this life one often has many friends who mean to one what you described in the second paragraph. Most of these friends wont invoke sexual desire. Still there is endearment, and I don't care if people call this endearment love. However this just creates a typology of love; there is a different type of concept people would also assign the word 'love' to. This other type is what we are talking about here.

As for same-sex pairings: Being able to reproduce and having the drive to are distinct notions. Homosexuals may be subconsciously driven to reproduce with the same sex; it being an impossibility is irrelevant.
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