Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
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18-01-2016, 07:31 AM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
“Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it.” - Feynman

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18-01-2016, 11:21 AM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
There are so many different types of love anyway -- romantic, familial, fraternal, the abstract love of humanity (don't laugh, some people really feel it!).

Do they exist? Sure -- in our heads. Like any emotion, they are more or less transient, but not permanent.

I've known what I think of as true love three times in my life. I'm a lucky man in that sense, and as I transition back to single life through a long and painful breakup, I'm not inclined to be looking for any relationship. I've got a lot on my plate and don't have the time or emotional energy to invest in romance.



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18-01-2016, 11:25 AM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
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19-01-2016, 05:19 AM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
HERE'S A LONG POST.

All these questions depend on what one calls "love".

I've said it before and I will say it again. English can be misleading when we talk about love. You tell kids they will "fall in love" and they think that the first person they have feelings for is their first "love".

This is not the case with other languages and especially Greek (how do I manage to always make the issue about languages, jeez) where "falling in love" is part of "eros" and not "love". Telling someone you're in love with them (which is expressed with the word "eros/erotas" and not "love") is not a big deal. You may fall in love 982473298 times. But telling someone you actually love them? That's a big deal.

You may hear people often saying after ending a relationship "I never loved him/her". However, they will never say "I never fell in love with them". And that's because these concepts are distinct in our language and minds.
I've been "in love" probably countless times, but I haven't "loved" every single person I've fallen in love with. If that makes sense.

As for relationships, you know you love someone when you care about them even after the relationship ends. Also stopping to love someone is a thing. Once you realize the person you thought you knew is someone totally different, you may stop loving them and that's natural.

I believe love is a continuum. You can love people in many ways and at different levels. Yeah, you probably love your child more than you love your cousins or you love your wife more than your old friend. That doesn't change the fact that all of the above cases are examples of love. And yes, in romantic relationships, you can have sex with other people and still love and be in love with your significant other (as long as it's not a secret).

Saying that love "doesn't exist" or "can't be sustained" because at some point you fell in love and it didn't work out for you (thus confusing love with infatuation or sexual desire) is silly. Sadly, many people don't get to meet someone who is perfect for them. However, reading the posts here, it seems that many actually do.

(16-01-2016 08:56 AM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  I say use love on important shit. I say just fuck and go. I mean at the end of the day this relationship thing is weird at if you need a shoulder, just go to a family member. Gay, lesbian, straight, just fuck and go, make sure it doesn't get to serious.

That doesn't work for everyone. And as far as I know, you haven't had much experience in relationships. Trust me, that changes everything.

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19-01-2016, 01:43 PM (This post was last modified: 19-01-2016 04:08 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(19-01-2016 05:19 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  I've been "in love" probably countless times, but I haven't "loved" every single person I've fallen in love with. If that makes sense.

Sure. The difference between a hookup and a lifetime legal business contract. Just cause she fucks me don't mean she wants to marry me.

(19-01-2016 05:19 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  That doesn't work for everyone. And as far as I know, you haven't had much experience in relationships. Trust me, that changes everything.

Girly's only had one. With ManlyGirl. Going on 35 years now. :

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19-01-2016, 03:56 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
'The one' or 'forever' type love is what doesn't exis, per se. You can have a monogamous relationship with a woman for 10 years - it doesn't matter - she will cheat on you, or leave you for someone else if:

A guy with better genes, better conditioned body, more assertive personality and/or more stoic personality, better accumulation of resources, better social status shows interest in her.

These traits are what draws a womans 'love' as they either directly or indirectly indicate a strong provider/protector. Women evolved to seek a strong provider/protector in a mate. They are hypergamous by nature; They will always go to a better provider/protector than their current if given the chance.

Men just want a warm, wet hole. And many will fuck other women than the one they're committed to if one shows interest in him.

Men are driven to fuck at all costs; In mating he does not care about what else she can be to him other than a female form to fuck. This creates a disparity in what sex is worth to both sexes. A womans sex is worth more than a mans; women use this as a basis for their mating strategy. Where a womans sex is more valuable, a mans commitment is more valuable than a womans, as he is more suited for accumulating resources and keeping those resources safe. Thus relationships form on the basis that a woman offers her sex to a man in order to gain his provisions for herself and her children.

No matter how far we come this is our evolutionary psychology. I will never commit myself to a woman. Just as I will always have the urge to impartially fuck all women, she will always have the urge to seek better providers/protectors. For men we gain more from just having friends with benefits. A monogamous commitment between man and woman is infinitely in a womans favour: to make it seem favourable - at all - for men is her mating strategy.

Fuck your 'love.'
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19-01-2016, 04:11 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(19-01-2016 03:56 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  Fuck your 'love.'

There there little buddy. You just need a hug.

[Image: Bear_Hug_by_CommodoreElfman.jpg]

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19-01-2016, 04:31 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(19-01-2016 03:56 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  'The one' or 'forever' type love is what doesn't exis, per se. You can have a monogamous relationship with a woman for 10 years - it doesn't matter - she will cheat on you, or leave you for someone else if:

A guy with better genes, better conditioned body, more assertive personality and/or more stoic personality, better accumulation of resources, better social status shows interest in her.

These traits are what draws a womans 'love' as they either directly or indirectly indicate a strong provider/protector. Women evolved to seek a strong provider/protector in a mate. They are hypergamous by nature; They will always go to a better provider/protector than their current if given the chance.

Men just want a warm, wet hole. And many will fuck other women than the one they're committed to if one shows interest in him.

Men are driven to fuck at all costs; In mating he does not care about what else she can be to him other than a female form to fuck. This creates a disparity in what sex is worth to both sexes. A womans sex is worth more than a mans; women use this as a basis for their mating strategy. Where a womans sex is more valuable, a mans commitment is more valuable than a womans, as he is more suited for accumulating resources and keeping those resources safe. Thus relationships form on the basis that a woman offers her sex to a man in order to gain his provisions for herself and her children.

No matter how far we come this is our evolutionary psychology. I will never commit myself to a woman. Just as I will always have the urge to impartially fuck all women, she will always have the urge to seek better providers/protectors. For men we gain more from just having friends with benefits. A monogamous commitment between man and woman is infinitely in a womans favour: to make it seem favourable - at all - for men is her mating strategy.

Fuck your 'love.'


You know, your attitude towards women is not doing you any favors.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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19-01-2016, 04:44 PM
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
I wanna know what love is.

I want you to show me...

In a repeatable experiment
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19-01-2016, 04:49 PM (This post was last modified: 19-01-2016 04:53 PM by Gilgamesh.)
RE: Does love exist or can be sustained? Does familiarity breed contempt?
(19-01-2016 04:31 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(19-01-2016 03:56 PM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  'The one' or 'forever' type love is what doesn't exis, per se. You can have a monogamous relationship with a woman for 10 years - it doesn't matter - she will cheat on you, or leave you for someone else if:

A guy with better genes, better conditioned body, more assertive personality and/or more stoic personality, better accumulation of resources, better social status shows interest in her.

These traits are what draws a womans 'love' as they either directly or indirectly indicate a strong provider/protector. Women evolved to seek a strong provider/protector in a mate. They are hypergamous by nature; They will always go to a better provider/protector than their current if given the chance.

Men just want a warm, wet hole. And many will fuck other women than the one they're committed to if one shows interest in him.

Men are driven to fuck at all costs; In mating he does not care about what else she can be to him other than a female form to fuck. This creates a disparity in what sex is worth to both sexes. A womans sex is worth more than a mans; women use this as a basis for their mating strategy. Where a womans sex is more valuable, a mans commitment is more valuable than a womans, as he is more suited for accumulating resources and keeping those resources safe. Thus relationships form on the basis that a woman offers her sex to a man in order to gain his provisions for herself and her children.

No matter how far we come this is our evolutionary psychology. I will never commit myself to a woman. Just as I will always have the urge to impartially fuck all women, she will always have the urge to seek better providers/protectors. For men we gain more from just having friends with benefits. A monogamous commitment between man and woman is infinitely in a womans favour: to make it seem favourable - at all - for men is her mating strategy.

Fuck your 'love.'


You know, your attitude towards women is not doing you any favors.

I think the exact same about all who are ignorant of human nature as dictated by evo psych - or are aware but believe humans have sufficiently disposed of it through the intellectual endeavor.

And I harbour no ill will for any human based on circumstances they had no control over.

And my convictions are not held by basis of what 'feels' right or favourable.
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