Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
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08-06-2014, 09:04 PM
Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
Hey fellow atheists. I just joined the Forum and I need some help. I recently converted to atheism and have not yet come out to my family/friends about my religious views. I'm 15 and my parents have raised me as an Episcopalian. We attend church on a regular basis and as far as I can tell they and my siblings are pretty firm believers in all of the church's teachings. I am worried about telling them my views as I feel they will hate me for it. In addition, many of my good friends are Catholics and those who are not are still religious. I don't want to try to change their views, I just want them to respect mine. Is there a good way to break the news to them or should I continue as a closet atheist, at least until I leave the house? Any help, suggestion, or support would be greatly appreciated.
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08-06-2014, 09:58 PM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
(08-06-2014 09:04 PM)XCStump Wrote:  Any help, suggestion, or support would be greatly appreciated.

Girly keeps his metaphysics to his self unless prodded.

(08-06-2014 09:04 PM)XCStump Wrote:  I recently converted to atheism and have not yet come out to my family/friends about my religious views.

You can't convert to atheism. It has no dogma.

#sigh
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08-06-2014, 10:05 PM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
Give yourself time to come to full terms with it yourself before you drop any bombs. You've still got a lot of road ahead of you, tread lightly at the moment. No need to act immediately.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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08-06-2014, 10:05 PM (This post was last modified: 08-06-2014 10:13 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
You should do what's best for yourself in the long run. The Episcopalians I know are pretty (actually very) liberal, and actually if one of their 15 year olds came home and said "Hey I'm an atheist" they would probably say "That's nice dear, now go walk the dog", and after you did go walk the dog, they would have a chuckle and say "He's in a phase, it will pass". So, maybe you could start out slow, and say "I have a lot of questions, and no one seems to be able to come up with any good answers". You'll do what you must, but remember try not to be hurtful, and remember you have only one family. You could sit them down individually and say, (if you really think you need to), "You are important to me, and I want to be honest. I think I no longer share your religious faith. We can talk about it if you want".

On the other hand, if they're from a very conservative church, you might want to keep it to yourself, 'till your out of their house. There is no rush, unless you think you HAVE to tell them now. You could ask them some probing questions like "What do you think your brain does when you say the word *god*" ?

You have different relationships with different people. For example I told my best friend. I NEVER told my granny, and I'm glad I didn't. It would have hurt her, and she would not "get it". My mom STILL thinks I'm in a phase. My dad could care less. In fact he is sort of proud of my independence, in a "wink wink" way. He and mom have a deal. No fighting about religion. No point in hurting people. You don't need to share everything with everyone. Maybe tell your closest brother or sister. It will get around.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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09-06-2014, 04:58 AM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
Hi mate.

I would underplay it. Treat it like it is not a big deal.

Being an atheist is not a big deal. Think of all the money you will save by not having to tithe!

Good luck!

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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09-06-2014, 05:30 AM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
1. One does not 'convert' to atheism because atheism is not another world view or dogma. It is actually de-converting. In other words, you just stop believing in gods.

2. Atheism and religion are not mutually exclusive either so if you are an atheist it doesn't necessarily define your religious views. Although generally speaking, most religions do have one or more gods.

Atheism is lack of belief. There is no dogma or catechism or common worldview among atheists.
Atheism is, simply put, a response to someone running around shouting "THERE IS A GOD!".
That response is simply "I don't believe you." You can take it one step further and say: "Prove it!"
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09-06-2014, 06:14 AM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
Im 25, and I pretty well knew I was an atheist by the time I was your age. I've yet to come out to all of my family. Ive avoided conversations related to religion, not because I'm ashamed, but because I feel it's not a big deal.

I would just keep going as things are for now until yoire older. If you're 17-18 and they're forcing you to go, then that's when I'd have a discussion with them about your beliefs
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09-06-2014, 12:15 PM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
(08-06-2014 09:04 PM)XCStump Wrote:  Hey fellow atheists. I just joined the Forum and I need some help. I recently converted to atheism and have not yet come out to my family/friends about my religious views. I'm 15 and my parents have raised me as an Episcopalian. We attend church on a regular basis and as far as I can tell they and my siblings are pretty firm believers in all of the church's teachings. I am worried about telling them my views as I feel they will hate me for it. In addition, many of my good friends are Catholics and those who are not are still religious. I don't want to try to change their views, I just want them to respect mine. Is there a good way to break the news to them or should I continue as a closet atheist, at least until I leave the house? Any help, suggestion, or support would be greatly appreciated.

I'm going through the same issue. I'm 38 years old and no one I know other then my wife knows I'm an Atheist. I suggest you take your time and think about it. Make sure you are ready for whatever may come your way. For some people it may be rather easy while for others it can be problematic.

My entire family, co-workers, and friends are all devoted to Christianity. I live in the bible-belt where to be an Atheist means you are a Heretic. For me to come out to these ignorant people means I have to risk committing social suicide. Not to mention I have a daughter for whom all my family is trying to lay spiritual claim to.

All I am saying is just wait till you feel like you are ready. Your experience may be positive, negative, or indifferent. In any case just be ready.
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11-06-2014, 09:04 AM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
I would do it slowly... Start dropping hints.

Moan and gripe about going to church, make it clear that you don't want to be there without actually saying it.

Every time the subject comes up at home, try to look uncomfortable and try to change the subject.

I think eventually your parents will twig that something is up. If they ask, don't say "mum, dad, I'm an atheist."

Just say something like "to be honest, I don't really believe in this stuff anymore."

That's what I'd do anyway.

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11-06-2014, 10:39 AM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
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"If what you say is actually true, I would want to know it too. ... You can convince me, and if it is true I want you to convince me ... and I will thank you for convincing me."

AronRa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXJHVB7pROE
9:18
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