Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
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11-06-2014, 11:29 AM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
You are 15 XCStump - you don't have time to "come out atheist" in any official way ... yet. I know, I know... you might be busting to do so ... but you need some time to prepare. And it will be best to keep everything tranquil in the house while you get your newfound wits about you. It really does take time ... but you will only notice that you are having tons of fun learning about so much stuff... time will fly by.

Your brain is your hard drive and you are switching operating systems... one with a firewall and no virus. You need to make sure your unused software is compatible and up to date. Your software: empathy, ethics, science, history, etc.,... these are your survival applications and they will become useful in nearly everything you do for the rest of your life. You are rebuilding your brain and you'll need proper tools and instruction. Your main tools are logic and reason; this can not be stressed enough. Keep them with you always.
***
Hang out here for a while XCy... you might learn a few things on the forum. It's a fair training ground to learn how to voice opinion, voice dissent, or simply find your voice. The discussions can become heated but we also just hang out and talk about stupid shit. LOTS of stupid shit. Shy Sometimes, theists can really lay on the ridiculous and frustrating guilt crap... it's good to just vent and this is a safe place to do that.

There are people here just like you, from all over the world.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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12-06-2014, 02:17 AM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
This a difficult question to answer, because we don't know you or your parents or any of your friends. You still live at home so you are really vulnerable. If you think it might not go very well you should think pretty hard on it. In the end though, you need to be true to you. If you feel uncomfortable doing things with the church, then don't do it. If you have something you think needs to be said, say it. If you feel you need to tell the truth, then tell it. Keeping your atheism to yourself can be the easiest way to navigate an uncomfortable situation and it might be best for the time being. If at any point keeping it a secret makes you unhappy though, then you should come out.

When you talk to your parents about it, or even your friends, you should start out by telling them how much they mean to you and that your very afraid that might all change. They all love and care about you, and that should be enough for them to accept you, even if they don't understand or approve.
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12-06-2014, 10:06 AM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
Like everyone else has said, give it time.

You need to understand your own lack of belief, and your own life, because undoubtedly when you come out, your religious friends/family WILL try to bring you back, or convince you that your decision is a work of the devil, etc. etc.

You need to have the evidence and thought out statements prepared ahead of time to defend yourself, and if you're me, throw their idiotic religious garbage back in their faces.

Its way more satisfying that way, seriously.
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12-06-2014, 01:03 PM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
(11-06-2014 11:29 AM)kim Wrote:  You are 15 XCStump - you don't have time to "come out atheist" in any official way ... yet. I know, I know... you might be busting to do so ... but you need some time to prepare. And it will be best to keep everything tranquil in the house while you get your newfound wits about you. It really does take time ... but you will only notice that you are having tons of fun learning about so much stuff... time will fly by.

Your brain is your hard drive and you are switching operating systems... one with a firewall and no virus. You need to make sure your unused software is compatible and up to date. Your software: empathy, ethics, science, history, etc.,... these are your survival applications and they will become useful in nearly everything you do for the rest of your life. You are rebuilding your brain and you'll need proper tools and instruction. Your main tools are logic and reason; this can not be stressed enough. Keep them with you always.
***
Hang out here for a while XCy... you might learn a few things on the forum. It's a fair training ground to learn how to voice opinion, voice dissent, or simply find your voice. The discussions can become heated but we also just hang out and talk about stupid shit. LOTS of stupid shit. Shy Sometimes, theists can really lay on the ridiculous and frustrating guilt crap... it's good to just vent and this is a safe place to do that.

There are people here just like you, from all over the world.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

well put, I likes this reply Yes

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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15-06-2014, 04:46 PM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
I just decided I was an atheist as well, at the age of 39. I have not come out to most of my friends and family yet, but I do plan to. It is hard to advise you since I don't know your situation. It really does depend on how conservative your family is. If you come out to very strict fundamentalists parents, things could go very badly. They could cut you off from resources you really need, such as this forum.
The one person I have come out to is my sister. She is devoutly religious, but I know her to be non-judgmental. She told me she did not agree with my decision, but did not judge me. She agreed not to 'out' me to anyone else. It hasn't changed our relationship at all; however, we don't talk about it. I've told her I'm willing to discuss it if she has questions, but she has never asked.

I have dropped subtle hints to other people. Everyone knows I don't go to church, and if the topic comes up, I say 'I'm not religious'. I often comment on facebook posts where other people are praising god with non-religious comments. For example, if there is a news story about a person surviving a car crash, amongst the 'god was watching out for her' and 'god must have a plan for her', I might say 'wow. Modern automotive technology is amazing! That crash would not have been survivable 10 years ago". If someone posts praises to god for a successful surgery, I'll say "sounds like you had a great medical team".

You might check out this book. I have read it, and I believe it has some good advice. She has a section for teens still living at home.

http://www.amazon.com/Coming-Out-Atheist...B00JPPUN9O
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15-06-2014, 08:51 PM
RE: Don't Know How to Come Out Atheist
It seems when we first realize we are atheist we get a bit radical. That settles down in time to a peaceful contentment.
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