"Don't go to Hell!"
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28-01-2015, 08:56 PM
"Don't go to Hell!"
Hope this is not too long...
So I'm in a bit of a mess internally right now...

I am a new atheist who happens to be gay also. I have already came out to my parents (three times now!...) as gay and I have talked to them about "doubting my faith".

My immediate family consists of three sisters and one brother (all younger than me) and my parents. I sat them down and told them all at once the last time I brought it up. They didn't take the news well and the meeting didn't end on the best of terms. It has been a month or so since then and they act as if it never happened.

So I officially came out to my (ex)pastor (I say "officially" because when my father first heard of my "homosexual tendencies" a few months ago, he blabbed about it to my pastor). It was a little awkward but I felt like I had to do it. I am (now was) very active in the church (choir, praise team, usher board, and even a deacon) so I felt I at least had to say something to my (ex)pastor.

He started off asking me about Sodom and Gomorrah. I was extremely put-off by this because I honestly thought he was smarter than that, but apparently not if he thought that was gonna work on me. Maybe he thought I was the idiot. Anyways, i told him how I thought the story was about wickedness in general and that the "sin" of homosexuality wasn't even brought up anytime throughout the bible when referring to this story.

He went on and on about the bible and eventually i told him that i didn't even believe in the bible or god or the devil. I told him that the god i was raised to believe in would have stepped in some time in my 22 years of praying, and pleading, and crying to "deliver" me but he didn't. either he didn't care that i was gay or didn't care about me at all.

He ended the conversation cheaply and that was that. I am glad that I don't have to act and put on this facade at church anymore.

This happened last Sunday. This Sunday I went to church today with my family. We go every single Sunday. I still live with my parents, so to avoid unnecessary squabble i just go to church despite being a gaytheist.

In Sunday school today, some lady went on a rant (like she always does when she opens her mouth) and started talking about how she had to take some test for her job and how it was asking questions like "what consists of a family? A: man and women married B: unmarried man and woman living together C: two women and D: two men. She was taught that the answer was all four but she didn't like that answer and knowing wrote out the wrong answer. She was so proud of herself denying the right of other people to qualify as a family "under god" in her eyes even though she ended up failing the test because of it. I should have seen this as a sign that today was gonna be a bad day, but no. I had too much hope and just shrugged it off. It was nothing i wasn't used to hearing anyways...

After the lady finished her rant, my dad stood up and not only agreed with her statement but added that it didn't matter who it was; whether his dad, brother or son; that it was wrong and he wouldn't ever change his mind about it. He wouldn't even go to his, metaphorically speaking, gay dads' wedding or anything like that. Yes, he knows I'm gay and obviously doesn't care that I had to sit there and hear him say this.

It came down to the pastor to present his sermon. He started off by stating that "he had originally had another topic to preach about but god? gave him another message." It was entitled "don't go to hell" and I immediately knew what he was going with this. He even said that 'this message (from god?) was directed for somebody in the room that day "ahem", me of course.

He went straight for the gut and started spouting nonsense about people not believing in god going to hell. How convenient for his message to change when I came out to him. He then started reading verses from the bible stating that nonbelievers were fools and went on asserting that it was true because only a fool would deny a "loving caring god?" "i didn't say it, the bible did!" He yells. I was starting to get really angry bu I held it in. I wanted to walk away but I didn't want to draw any attention to myself.

He then went to a scripture stating that same loving caring god? gave people over to evil desires and even talked about how Paul wrote that people rebelled against god? and he "gave them over to their lust and flesh". Yes, this is one of those clobber passages christians love to use to condemn gay people. I couldn't take it anymore so I got up and left the building. I sat outside and waited for the service to be over.

I trusted this guy. The bad thing about it is that no one else knows what he did but him and me. I lost all respect for that guy... I don't know what to do anymore....

My family not only goes to church on Sunday but also Thursday nights. Tomorrow they are planning on going but I don't think I can even stand in "that mans'" presence. I know I should stand up to my parents but it's easier said than done...
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28-01-2015, 09:08 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
Sorry to hear about your situation. You deserve better than that, especially from your family. You should start weighing your options to get out on your own and away from all of that negativity. From the sound of it, that may be your best chance at preserving your sanity. You need to be able to establish your own boundaries and live your own life.

Good luck to you.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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28-01-2015, 09:10 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
Hug

You can vent here all you want.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-01-2015, 09:22 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
(28-01-2015 08:56 PM)chibigiraffe Wrote:  ... Wrote lots of gut wrenching, personal stuff...

Hug

Sorry to hear what you're going through.

I look back at my life and, after reading others comments, realize what an easy time I've had and what a lucky, tolerant (Relatively) country I live in.

Wishing you and yours all the very best chibigiraffe. Smile
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28-01-2015, 09:23 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
Hug

Welcome!

Venting here has helped me maintain my sanity. (Ok, ok what sanity I have left at this point)

This...really fucking sucks. I hate it for you that you're having to go through this. There are some really bigoted assholes out there. It's one thing if it's acquaintances, but it hurts like hell when they're people you love, trust, and formerly respected. I feel ya on that. I really, truly do. Other than being a gay boy... But yeh, I can relate.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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28-01-2015, 09:57 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
Howdy.
Here's some resources to deal with Bible fundies about sexuality. It's probably not going to help much, but at least you'll get the idea that real scholars have far different explanations for why what you read in the Bible texts were actually put there.
http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...#pid116732
http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...#pid116732

You sound fairly young, so I can't give advice. I had no problems with my (immediate) family, and I'm glad my strict Catholic granny is gone, as we were very close, and she would never have understood.

Hug

Oh and BTW, we can deal with it later, but the Bible says nothing about "going to hell". The Hebrews did not believe in it. ALL the dead went to Sheol, which was not where Yahweh lived. Later Christians cooked up hell after The Jewish diaspora came into contact with Hellenic Greek culture and Hades (which also was not a place of torment).

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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28-01-2015, 10:05 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
can you just stop going to church? its not worth the drama.

are you able yo support yourself? do you have friends or other family that might not be such assholes to you?

find a job, the quicker you can support yourself the better. Right now they hold the cards because you are dependent on them. Stop depending on them and live life the way you want.

one of my christian friends recently posted a link on facebook about why christians should be nicer to LGBTQ people. I can find the link if you are interested. Maybe you could school the pastor in his own church about his own god. Wink


found it: http://johnpavlovitz.com/2015/01/25/stan...he-closet/


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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28-01-2015, 11:11 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
(28-01-2015 10:05 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  can you just stop going to church? its not worth the drama.

are you able yo support yourself? do you have friends or other family that might not be such assholes to you?

find a job, the quicker you can support yourself the better. Right now they hold the cards because you are dependent on them. Stop depending on them and live life the way you want.

one of my christian friends recently posted a link on facebook about why christians should be nicer to LGBTQ people. I can find the link if you are interested. Maybe you could school the pastor in his own church about his own god. Wink


found it: http://johnpavlovitz.com/2015/01/25/stan...he-closet/

I can stop going to church and I will. I'm not going tomorrow nor Sunday morning. I don't ever want to see my ex-pastor again. I just know that my family will "attack" me on it and I don't know how to handle it. My whole life revolves (ans has revolved) around church. Everyone I know are infused in the church. All of my distant family members live in other states and I literally have no friends.

I've been looking for a job for the longest now. I've given up recently because nobody wants to hire me right now. I'm have no work experience and my "resume" is barely a resume.

I trying to get my education back in gear. I'm looking to transfer to another college away but my chances are pretty slim because of how I handled my past college experiences whilst battling depression, my own sexuality, and my "faith".
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28-01-2015, 11:12 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
(28-01-2015 09:57 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Howdy.
Here's some resources to deal with Bible fundies about sexuality. It's probably not going to help much, but at least you'll get the idea that real scholars have far different explanations for why what you read in the Bible texts were actually put there.
http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...#pid116732
http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...#pid116732

You sound fairly young, so I can't give advice. I had no problems with my (immediate) family, and I'm glad my strict Catholic granny is gone, as we were very close, and she would never have understood.

Hug

Oh and BTW, we can deal with it later, but the Bible says nothing about "going to hell". The Hebrews did not believe in it. ALL the dead went to Sheol, which was not where Yahweh lived. Later Christians cooked up hell after The Jewish diaspora came into contact with Hellenic Greek culture and Hades (which also was not a place of torment).

Then what is the purpose of "hell" at all? I thought that even Jesus mentioned it. Didn't he speak of parables of people being sent there and such?... Huh
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28-01-2015, 11:35 PM
RE: "Don't go to Hell!"
(28-01-2015 11:12 PM)chibigiraffe Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 09:57 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Howdy.
Here's some resources to deal with Bible fundies about sexuality. It's probably not going to help much, but at least you'll get the idea that real scholars have far different explanations for why what you read in the Bible texts were actually put there.
http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...#pid116732
http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...#pid116732

You sound fairly young, so I can't give advice. I had no problems with my (immediate) family, and I'm glad my strict Catholic granny is gone, as we were very close, and she would never have understood.

Hug

Oh and BTW, we can deal with it later, but the Bible says nothing about "going to hell". The Hebrews did not believe in it. ALL the dead went to Sheol, which was not where Yahweh lived. Later Christians cooked up hell after The Jewish diaspora came into contact with Hellenic Greek culture and Hades (which also was not a place of torment).

Then what is the purpose of "hell" at all? I thought that even Jesus mentioned it. Didn't he speak of parables of people being sent there and such?... Huh

To scare the shit out of people. Jesus (if he even existed) was an Apocalyptic Jew who thought the "end-times" were about to happen, (and so did his followers). Hell was invented as a place for punishment for the "unsaved". WHat's wrong with that takes (many) books to explain.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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