Door to Door Saleman stories?
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21-09-2014, 12:01 AM
Door to Door Saleman stories?
So Ive never had a religious person come knocking on my door with good news and a book in their hands trying to save me from eternal damnation.

I know all of you are probably saying that I'm fortunate for it, but part of me just wants to experience it once just so I could have fun trolling them one time

So I ask, anybody got any funny stories with these door-to- door religious salesman they would like to share?
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21-09-2014, 12:18 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
I haven't seen one in person in ages. When I was younger they were knocking on my parents door about every other week. My dad would yell something nasty at them (scared the crap out of them) and they stopped coming around for a while.
They started coming back a few years later and I put a 'no solicitation' sign on the door and that finally did it.
They would troll around the park when I was a kid too, it was creepy even in the seventies.
I think they were mostly J-dubs.
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21-09-2014, 08:06 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
(21-09-2014 12:01 AM)Aldiesel18 Wrote:  So Ive never had a religious person come knocking on my door with good news and a book in their hands trying to save me from eternal damnation.

I know all of you are probably saying that I'm fortunate for it, but part of me just wants to experience it once just so I could have fun trolling them one time

So I ask, anybody got any funny stories with these door-to- door religious salesman they would like to share?

I live so far out in the boonies now that the only ones who show up from time to time are the Jehova's Witnesses. I used to live closer to a large town and I would get them and the Mormon's quite often. One day two smoking hot young ladies from the Mormon Church came around and I almost invited them in so I could look at them for a while longer.

Yes theists, I relish the sight of a beautiful woman and there is nothing in the world wrong with that.

Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. - Ayn Rand.

Don't sacrifice for me, live for yourself! - Me

The only alternative to Objectivism is some form of Subjectivism. - Dawson Bethrick
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21-09-2014, 08:09 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
(21-09-2014 12:01 AM)Aldiesel18 Wrote:  So Ive never had a religious person come knocking on my door with good news and a book in their hands trying to save me from eternal damnation.

I know all of you are probably saying that I'm fortunate for it, but part of me just wants to experience it once just so I could have fun trolling them one time

So I ask, anybody got any funny stories with these door-to- door religious salesman they would like to share?

Once a Jehova's Witness told me that men have one fewer rib than women and that is proof of the bible. By the way don't ever let them in your house. They take that as a sign that you might be winnable. They will come back again and again on this slight encouragement. Trust me I made that mistake when I was young and naive.

Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. - Ayn Rand.

Don't sacrifice for me, live for yourself! - Me

The only alternative to Objectivism is some form of Subjectivism. - Dawson Bethrick
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21-09-2014, 08:14 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
Many years ago my parents were doing some remodeling at their house. Part of that included removing a cabinet that happened to house years of dad's Playboy magazines. He gave those to my husband. We put them on the desk at my grandparents' house where we were living. Huge stack of them right inside the front door of the old farmhouse. We hadn't figured out where to keep them.

The next morning I had a knock at the door - my regular JW visit - they were determined since they had to drive out into the country to try to convert me. It was a rainy, chilly day and they had a young child with them so I invited them to step inside so that our big, wet dog would leave them alone. It was two women and the child.

They stepped just inside the door and one of the women started her spiel with her hand full of Watch Towers and such. A couple minutes into it the other woman was glancing over her shoulder and looking uncomfortable. There were a few 'looks' between the two women and suddenly they had to leave. After they left I realized what the one woman was looking at and so afraid of.

Turns out that years of Playboy magazines made them decide I was too far gone to save. Tongue

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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21-09-2014, 08:16 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
(21-09-2014 08:09 AM)true scotsman Wrote:  
(21-09-2014 12:01 AM)Aldiesel18 Wrote:  So Ive never had a religious person come knocking on my door with good news and a book in their hands trying to save me from eternal damnation.

I know all of you are probably saying that I'm fortunate for it, but part of me just wants to experience it once just so I could have fun trolling them one time

So I ask, anybody got any funny stories with these door-to- door religious salesman they would like to share?

Once a Jehova's Witness told me that men have one fewer rib than women and that is proof of the bible. By the way don't ever let them in your house. They take that as a sign that you might be winnable. They will come back again and again on this slight encouragement. Trust me I made that mistake when I was young and naive.
Ah yes, happened to me for several months. My mom would let them in, but I finally put a stop to it. I mean its was crazy, a few weeks we would just pretend we weren't home until they left. Which got pretty difficult since we got a dog..little pup just wouldn't shut up. We even missed a few friends and deliveries thinking it was them.
I told them we weren't interested any more..you know to be "polite" haven't seen them since.

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience." Joseph Campbell
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21-09-2014, 08:21 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
My Dad, a very large obese man with the gift of bullshit and also an atheist and lived out in the middle of nowhere. About every 5 years, a few would find our house on top the hill in the middle of the woods. We had a big deck on the front of the house so he would offer them a glass of something to drink and agree to talk. It was always summertime.

He would start by kicking of his shoes, then unbutton. A few on his shirt, then his socks, the whole time asking them questions that he knew would require long answers. Slowly he would undress himself just to see how long he could keep them there and how uncomfortable he could make them feel. Eventually they would have to choose to keep spreading Gods word or leave the soon to be naked guy. He would continually ask questions so they had to keep thinking of answers and couldn't really pause or exchange looks of "oh shit" with each other, eventually one would get so bothered that they would just bail mid sentence and run. It seemed to be the cure to keep them away for at least another 5 years. He figured as long as he kept them busy hen they weren't bothering the neighbors. It was one of his community service projects.


In my much younger days, my girlfriends and I would cat call the pure boys on bicycles, we would circle the block in our cars and a few times they may have had boobs flashed at them. Pull up next to them and invite to the bar with us, I had one friend who was great at taunting/flirting and was always chasing after them.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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21-09-2014, 08:54 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
I'll just leave these pics here, the last pic is a link cause I have no idea if its considered offensive in the posting images policy

[Image: jehovahs-witness.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_mo4w04YFuv1qe11kdo1_500.jpg]

http://imghumour.com/assets/Uploads/How-...ocking.jpg
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21-09-2014, 09:05 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
We have the bicycling Mormons in our neighborhood, I never answer the door for salesman of any kind.

[Image: 636ed5da3a341645a53a3c41cc528420.jpg]

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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21-09-2014, 11:38 AM
RE: Door to Door Saleman stories?
(21-09-2014 09:05 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  We have the bicycling Mormons in our neighborhood, I never answer the door for salesman of any kind.

[Image: 636ed5da3a341645a53a3c41cc528420.jpg]

Are they on a bike made for two?


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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