Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
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20-08-2017, 09:06 PM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
(20-08-2017 07:15 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  With teachers the problem goes beyond the age of consent. The potential for grooming, intentional or not, is enormous and the conflicts of interest are staggering. It's an abuse of trust and the sort of ethical nightmare that you avoid if at all possible.
I've seen it first hand. A former acquaintance taught some classes at a local school. He started an abusive relationship with one of his students. He was in his late 50s, she 16. His excuse was that 16 is our age of consent. I reminded him that doesn't count since he taught classes. He just shrugged.

He was always talking about grooming young girls (any age) for sex later on. He called "sowing the seeds." He still does it now.
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20-08-2017, 10:34 PM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
That individual belongs on a watch list.

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20-08-2017, 11:59 PM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
(20-08-2017 07:15 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  With teachers the problem goes beyond the age of consent. The potential for grooming, intentional or not, is enormous and the conflicts of interest are staggering. It's an abuse of trust and the sort of ethical nightmare that you avoid if at all possible.

That's it in a nutshell. The power dynamic in the relationship is totally skewed in the teacher's favour, regardless that the kid may be super chuffed to be the one secretly fucking the teacher. That's the kinda thing that can fuck up a kid's head for years.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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21-08-2017, 02:40 AM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
Yeah, it's a difficult one. When it comes to grooming kids or manipulating them into doing something they don't fully understand, that obviously is a no-no.

As a 16 year old, I had a smoking hot female teacher, who wasn't that much older than me who I was madly in "lust" with. I would have given anything to be with her at the time, but that's teenage boys and almost ANY good looking women for you haha. Many years later she actually found this out and was very flattered, and we're still friends to this day. Would I have slept with her given half the chance at that age? Damn straight I would, but who knows where that could have led us to, despite it being morally wrong for her at the time.

In saying that, she didn't try and groom me or anything...she was (and still is) just really really hot, and I was a hormonal teenager. I think that's why you get a lot of "where was this when I was [such and such]" because most guys had a attractive female teacher they fondly remember haha.

I also had the same thing with my optician, who who regularly check my eyes as a 15-16 year old, which involves getting very close to my face...and she was SUPER hot. As a hormonal teen, it was both awesome and very uncomfortable for me.

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21-08-2017, 12:27 PM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
I used to listen to a talk radio station up in NJ and the subject came up after a teacher (female) was caught in NJ. Based on what the people that called in had to say, there is a definite double standard. I will attempt to find the story and link it, but I think the student (male) was about 13. There were many women that called and it seemed that just about all of them hated her for doing what she did. The men that called seemed to have almost no problem with it. When asked if they would feel differently if the genders were reversed, they all said the teacher should never see the light of day again. I think one of the callers started to say no to that question, but he got hung up on.
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21-08-2017, 02:01 PM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
(18-08-2017 11:59 AM)reeveseb Wrote:  Ran across an article today while scouring the interwebs. Big ole picture of a middle aged woman, very attractive by most standards, accompanied by a basic facts story with very few details. I started looking through some of the comments fully expecting to see quite a few "attaboys" and "where were these teachers when I was in middle/high school" from the men, and indignation/condescension and talk of double standards from most of the women. I was not disappointed.

Got me to wondering...is there really a lack of equal application of the law regardless of offender gender (for the purposes of this discussion, I'd like to keep it to the gender binary system of male/female for simplicity sake)? Or does it boil down to my general observation that most men see a story like that and think, "why not me?" while women think, "criminal should be locked up forever" and "poor kid...I hope he's able to recover from this." By the way, the comments I saw were on a Facebook post of the story, not the linked story above.

If I'm absolutely honest about it, I've wondered why these teachers weren't ever teaching my classes when I was that age. And I know that rape and molestation can happen to both men and women by both men and women, but it's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that these 15-17 year old "boys" will be scarred for life because they had sex with an attractive woman who just happened to be their school teacher. I remember being a 15 year old horn dog and I don't really think I would have been traumatized by a sexual encounter like this. Just my humble opinion.

It also makes me wonder why we're hearing more and more about these particular stories of women teachers with male students lately. Was this always a thing that just went unreported and now because of social media and the boys bragging, the teachers are getting caught?

Just curious for other opinions!

This topic has been in the news almost every day for the last 2 weeks in my news feeds, and with different women in every case. However, you raise many questions that aren't easily answered. My main concern is equal application under the law for those who break the existing laws regarding these activities.

(Also... when I was 15ish I pursued many older women, I was never successful though. Personally I doubt I would have been harmed by it, but by then I had already had sexual encounters before I left diapers so my experience is not exactly a viable model to judge from, my early exposure to sex prolly did harm me though I can't say if it harmed me more or less than the physical violence I was exposed to on a more regular basis. IDK I have no answers only questions)

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21-08-2017, 02:07 PM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
I would not presume however to "attaboy" the kid. I wouldn't presume to know if he was consenting or cognitively developed enough or able to grant meaningful consent. I find people who act like that kinda shitty. But then adults rarely bother to fucking listen to children. It's .... disappointing to say the least, adults love to impose their views on children since they don't have the power to be heard over all the asinine noise adults come up with (personal annoyance I remember from when I was a kid)

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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21-08-2017, 02:07 PM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
(21-08-2017 02:01 PM)JesseB Wrote:  
(18-08-2017 11:59 AM)reeveseb Wrote:  Ran across an article today while scouring the interwebs. Big ole picture of a middle aged woman, very attractive by most standards, accompanied by a basic facts story with very few details. I started looking through some of the comments fully expecting to see quite a few "attaboys" and "where were these teachers when I was in middle/high school" from the men, and indignation/condescension and talk of double standards from most of the women. I was not disappointed.

Got me to wondering...is there really a lack of equal application of the law regardless of offender gender (for the purposes of this discussion, I'd like to keep it to the gender binary system of male/female for simplicity sake)? Or does it boil down to my general observation that most men see a story like that and think, "why not me?" while women think, "criminal should be locked up forever" and "poor kid...I hope he's able to recover from this." By the way, the comments I saw were on a Facebook post of the story, not the linked story above.

If I'm absolutely honest about it, I've wondered why these teachers weren't ever teaching my classes when I was that age. And I know that rape and molestation can happen to both men and women by both men and women, but it's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that these 15-17 year old "boys" will be scarred for life because they had sex with an attractive woman who just happened to be their school teacher. I remember being a 15 year old horn dog and I don't really think I would have been traumatized by a sexual encounter like this. Just my humble opinion.

It also makes me wonder why we're hearing more and more about these particular stories of women teachers with male students lately. Was this always a thing that just went unreported and now because of social media and the boys bragging, the teachers are getting caught?

Just curious for other opinions!

This topic has been in the news almost every day for the last 2 weeks in my news feeds, and with different women in every case. However, you raise many questions that aren't easily answered. My main concern is equal application under the law for those who break the existing laws regarding these activities.

(Also... when I was 15ish I pursued many older women, I was never successful though. Personally I doubt I would have been harmed by it, but by then I had already had sexual encounters before I left diapers so my experience is not exactly a viable model to judge from, my early exposure to sex prolly did harm me though I can't say if it harmed me more or less than the physical violence I was exposed to on a more regular basis. IDK I have no answers only questions)

Bear in mind that the law is made to protect people in general. Of course there may be kids who'd be perfectly fine, likewise there may be adults who're legally OK to bang, who will be immeasurably fucked up by some of their relationships. The whole age of consent thing is some sort of an attempt to try and protect kids who're generally clueless, while allowing adults to do their adult thing. Of course there will be exceptions on either side of it, but a nice concrete rule makes it easy to decide which exception gets jail time and therefore shouldn't be pursued Smile

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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21-08-2017, 02:17 PM (This post was last modified: 21-08-2017 02:21 PM by JesseB.)
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
(21-08-2017 02:07 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(21-08-2017 02:01 PM)JesseB Wrote:  This topic has been in the news almost every day for the last 2 weeks in my news feeds, and with different women in every case. However, you raise many questions that aren't easily answered. My main concern is equal application under the law for those who break the existing laws regarding these activities.

(Also... when I was 15ish I pursued many older women, I was never successful though. Personally I doubt I would have been harmed by it, but by then I had already had sexual encounters before I left diapers so my experience is not exactly a viable model to judge from, my early exposure to sex prolly did harm me though I can't say if it harmed me more or less than the physical violence I was exposed to on a more regular basis. IDK I have no answers only questions)

Bear in mind that the law is made to protect people in general. Of course there may be kids who'd be perfectly fine, likewise there may be adults who're legally OK to bang, who will be immeasurably fucked up by some of their relationships. The whole age of consent thing is some sort of an attempt to try and protect kids who're generally clueless, while allowing adults to do their adult thing. Of course there will be exceptions on either side of it, but a nice concrete rule makes it easy to decide which exception gets jail time and therefore shouldn't be pursued Smile

Agreed, this is my final conclusion too. Like I said my primary interest is seeing the punishment for these crimes consistently and universally applied. I think there's more than one double standard at play whenever this come's up depending on the individuals involved (for example many cases where it's incest no one ever gets punished, for a quick and dirty example I'll put forward the duggers, or cases when someone will get a more strict sentence than another based on relative genders involved, that does happen too, I don't know the local age of consent laws relevant to the case so I'm not making any specific claims only that I hope the law is properly enforced as is. If people want to modify the existing laws I wouldn't have any opinion as it's too much of a cluster fuck for someone as stupid as me to make a reasonable judgment. I don't like arbitrary and in the end whatever the law is going to be will have to be pretty arbitrary as like you said there's no cut or dry answer there).

I think this is the example I was thinking of, the girl got some probation the boy got registered as a sex offender and jail time, both were 15 years old. There's lots more examples too of weird shit happening and unjust punishments applied for these crimes, my policy is it should be applied equally to all criminals involved without sexist or racist discrimination.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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21-08-2017, 04:28 PM
RE: Double standards for teachers caught having sex with students
(18-08-2017 11:59 AM)reeveseb Wrote:  ... If I'm absolutely honest about it, I've wondered why these teachers weren't ever teaching my classes when I was that age. And I know that rape and molestation can happen to both men and women by both men and women, but it's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that these 15-17 year old "boys" will be scarred for life because they had sex with an attractive woman who just happened to be their school teacher. I remember being a 15 year old horn dog and I don't really think I would have been traumatized by a sexual encounter like this...

This may well have applied to you at the time, but you can't accurately predict—in adult hindsight—exactly how you would've reacted in a real-time scenario, or what effects it would have had on your subsequent state of mind.

Personally, at age 15, I would've been confused and horrified that somebody who was the same age as my mother was making blatantly sexual advances upon me. I was still a (male) virgin at age 15, and was happily socialising with girls of the same age at parties, school socials, and town hall dances etc.

My parents—and me too I guess—would've had reasonable expectations of a safe school life governed by mature teachers, and freedom from unwarranted, aggressive, sexual advances—particularly from randy middle-aged female predators who were expected to act as authority figures.

The teacher, Shawnetta Reece obviously has serious psycho-sexual problems that need clinical intervention. Interestingly, here in Australia, Reece would have been classified legally and charged as a paedophile—as the student was under 16, the age of consent. And in Australia, the maximum sentence for a charge of sexual intercourse with a minor is 17 years in jail.

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