Dueling with drink?
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18-07-2017, 05:33 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(12-07-2017 08:14 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  Since I'm being vulnerable... I think I am. It's admitable. I don't like to get drunk, but I've gotten mellow and stayed there, most days, since Oct 2016, when I was involved in a car crash that, in short, almost killed me. I'm trying not to drink right now, and am realizing that not drinking continually and invariably draws me towards this feeling of misery, which I seem to have been casually drinking away for quite a while. I live in a house with 5, 20 something year old roommates. Beer is as water, wine is as coffee, and so it has gone for quite a time.

I posted earlier about Anhedonia. It was so easy for me to overlook what is likely the source of my mental lethargy, because the drink ignites within a person, an unwarranted contentedness that can only be achieved by artificial cascading releases of dopamine. I seem to have slid into a habit, without paying much attention to my behavior.

I was just trying to feel better I think.

Have you ever had a struggle with the drink?

How did you fare? Or how are you faring?

Did a higher power come into play? How did you quit without the supposedly necessary higher power, if you did?

If you're struggling right now with alcohol, my heart goes out to you. I didn't realize not drinking beer and wine was hard until I actively tried not to.

Regards. You're all lovely.

Yes.... I was an alcoholic for a few years after a traumatic run on the FD. It was truly hell to live through. Here is the thread. If you have any questions please feel free to PM me. It's a very slippery slope once you start down that path.

I get to decide what my life looks like, not the other way around.
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18-07-2017, 05:54 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(18-07-2017 05:33 AM)RearViewMirror Wrote:  
(12-07-2017 08:14 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  Since I'm being vulnerable... I think I am. It's admitable. I don't like to get drunk, but I've gotten mellow and stayed there, most days, since Oct 2016, when I was involved in a car crash that, in short, almost killed me. I'm trying not to drink right now, and am realizing that not drinking continually and invariably draws me towards this feeling of misery, which I seem to have been casually drinking away for quite a while. I live in a house with 5, 20 something year old roommates. Beer is as water, wine is as coffee, and so it has gone for quite a time.

I posted earlier about Anhedonia. It was so easy for me to overlook what is likely the source of my mental lethargy, because the drink ignites within a person, an unwarranted contentedness that can only be achieved by artificial cascading releases of dopamine. I seem to have slid into a habit, without paying much attention to my behavior.

I was just trying to feel better I think.

Have you ever had a struggle with the drink?

How did you fare? Or how are you faring?

Did a higher power come into play? How did you quit without the supposedly necessary higher power, if you did?

If you're struggling right now with alcohol, my heart goes out to you. I didn't realize not drinking beer and wine was hard until I actively tried not to.

Regards. You're all lovely.

Yes.... I was an alcoholic for a few years after a traumatic run on the FD. It was truly hell to live through. Here is the thread. If you have any questions please feel free to PM me. It's a very slippery slope once you start down that path.

Just read through that thread RearView, and That really should be pinned I think. It's eye opening to say the least, I want to say "well done" for kicking the habits, but I did see in your post it's not about that.

One thing I've learnt over the past couple of years is that having a problem , in any area, doesn't make you any less of "a man" and if you need help, get it.

"I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner" - Rick
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18-07-2017, 06:02 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(18-07-2017 05:54 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  Just read through that thread RearView, and That really should be pinned I think. It's eye opening to say the least, I want to say "well done" for kicking the habits, but I did see in your post it's not about that.

One thing I've learnt over the past couple of years is that having a problem , in any area, doesn't make you any less of "a man" and if you need help, get it.

Totally agree. I lost a lot of friends when I quit drinking. I suppose that they were unsure how to act around me? Thing is.... I am the same person I just didn't drink anymore. I "personally" don't have a problem with anyone else drinking as long as it isn't affecting anyone in a negative way. Do no harm to yourself or anyone else and I've got no issue.
I had to do something or it would have gotten the better of me had I continued down that path. Social gatherings can be awkward but I usually just get a Diet Coke and don't say anything about what I'm drinking.

I get to decide what my life looks like, not the other way around.
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18-07-2017, 12:02 PM
RE: Dueling with drink?
Day three was tough, but I made it. Whew.

Day four now. Seems easier then day three. The cravings sneak up on you though. I wanted a drink so bad last night, came to post here, stopped wanting a drink, the craving went away completely, and then I never finished the post. SMH Laugh out load

I was just going to empathize with the difficulty of being around alcohol at social situations. It definitely is social lubricant for me. I feel myself physically become more confident in myself when I drink. I have sat through gatherings where no alcohol is present and notice the difference. It is palpable.

I just need to learn how to be comfortable without, but it's much easier to say than it is to do.

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18-07-2017, 01:25 PM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(15-07-2017 04:58 PM)skyking Wrote:  I don't miss it or lament not drinking for sure, Dom. I look at the upsides, and the personal downsides and I have no problem refraining.

Lucky you Skyking my friend I wish it was so for me. Be happy as I am happy for you that its not an issue. Hug
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19-07-2017, 03:21 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
Something to try that I found works for a lot of things:

Say to yourself when you have a craving "I will have a drink, but in 30 minutes". After 30 minutes you can then say, well I'll wait another 30 mins...and then an hour...and so on. I've it helps me from a logic stand point, like "well I've lasted 30 mins, I can wait another 30 mins. I've lasted an hour now, I can wait another hour" and so on.

Not for everybody, but it works for me when I'm trying to cut things out.

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20-07-2017, 06:12 PM
RE: Dueling with drink?
I failed last night, and that failure carried over into today. Hoping to rally and keep this cut back going. I'm trying to be proud of my accomplishment, recognize that I probably won't have success first try, but that if I keep trying as hard as I can, success will come.

Given that this messes with two things that I value, which are my health and my mind, I will never stop fighting this silly urge until I drink as ordinary men do, or not at all.

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
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20-07-2017, 06:31 PM
RE: Dueling with drink?
I have a lot of experience with depression and alcoholism and a year sober. You can save yourself years of agony by starting the "not at all" approach right now.

My two cents.
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20-07-2017, 07:14 PM (This post was last modified: 20-07-2017 08:11 PM by Cosmo.)
RE: Dueling with drink?
Sorry to hear that man.

Immense congratulations on a year sober.

That seems to be the general consensus though. One drink seems to make me snap so there's a few of you here that are likely right.

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
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21-07-2017, 01:47 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(20-07-2017 06:12 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  I failed last night, and that failure carried over into today. Hoping to rally and keep this cut back going. I'm trying to be proud of my accomplishment, recognize that I probably won't have success first try, but that if I keep trying as hard as I can, success will come.

Given that this messes with two things that I value, which are my health and my mind, I will never stop fighting this silly urge until I drink as ordinary men do, or not at all.

Cosmo,

As we may have mentioned before, there is the view that total abstinence is the only way out for some (maybe a lot) of people. Then there are those who just don't feel the urge to drink too much, and some who can drink too much, but put the brakes on when needed.

I think habit plays a part. If we have been daily drinkers for years, then changing that will be hard. A medical doc told me that going cold turkey can be dangerous for a long term drinker, but I don't know the science of this.

I have talked with an alcohol counsellor in our local library, and she gave me a leaflet with a booze diary to fill in. The recommendation was two or three dry days a week to start with. Then there was an alcohol units chart for the weekly number.

Anyway, I'm still doing reasonably, a couple of small glasses of wine with a steak last night, and then just fell asleep. Do you want to say what amount of booze your having? No need if you don't want to.

ATB,

D.
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