Dueling with drink?
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21-07-2017, 08:46 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
all good thoughts. IF cold turkey is not working, try modified turkey Big Grin
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21-07-2017, 07:24 PM
RE: Dueling with drink?
Fuck

End of week one...failed.

OK, I tried to write a week in review sort of thing but it got too personal, I know that EVERY week is going to have it's own problems

It's all just excuses.

Short story shorter...never mind, it's just another excuse.

Today someone gave me a bottle of scotch as a thank you for something I helped them with, I drank it.

Starting again tomorrow.

A friend in the hole
"I'll be back when I want it...not when I need it." - Hawkeye
"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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21-07-2017, 08:00 PM
RE: Dueling with drink?
Unsapien one of your sig taglines:

"I'll be back when I want it...not when I need it." - Hawkeye

I remember that well. I remember at the time (maybe it was a rerun so I don't know if I saw the episode as it came out) thinking, damn, there's a fine line there, can you really tell the difference? I still feel that way. Anyway to say something as trite as "I know what you mean" or "I understand" could disrespect your experiences compared to mine but if it's any consolation you are not alone in the grand struggle and people do understand just maybe not in magnitude.
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22-07-2017, 07:20 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
Weaning and cutting back do not work for me. One becomes two becomes six becomes ten. I know different approaches can work for different alcoholics, but it seems an awful lot like courting relapse to "cut back."

Unsapien and Cos, don't let your lapses define you. The path out of addiction is rarely straight and true. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep headed in the right direction. Setbacks are not failure.
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22-07-2017, 07:59 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
If you're becoming a problem drinker or alcoholic what you stand to gain by trying to drink casually is a terrible risk compared to what you will lose when it goes south. If it's a problem and you identify it as a problem, cut that shit out like you would cancer.

Total abstinence may not be necessary for every problem drinker but it's undeniably the safest path.
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22-07-2017, 09:05 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(22-07-2017 07:20 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Weaning and cutting back do not work for me. One becomes two becomes six becomes ten. I know different approaches can work for different alcoholics, but it seems an awful lot like courting relapse to "cut back."

Unsapien and Cos, don't let your lapses define you. The path out of addiction is rarely straight and true. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep headed in the right direction. Setbacks are not failure.

Yeah, I can't really call it a failure, it's like putting a naked woman in my lap and telling me not to get a hard on, it's just of all the weeks...

Anyway I didn't tell anyone that I was trying to quit drinking, I told them that I was trying to lose weight (which I am) and that I was cutting out alcohol & pop, desserts and such, because it was just empty calories... and even after letting people know that you're trying to lose weight they still say things like "...I know you're on a diet but...do you want a donut?" or "I know you're trying to lose weight but you really should try these ribs..."

Moderation is not a word people are used too in today's society it seems.

So one day at a time...

A friend in the hole
"I'll be back when I want it...not when I need it." - Hawkeye
"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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22-07-2017, 09:48 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
There will always be people who will undermine your efforts either unknowingly or on purpose,for their own personal reasons.

Please remember you don't have to accept every gift you're offered. You can say "Thank you, but I don't drink." It requires no further explanation. We've had several customers lately try to give us pricey bottles of wine or gift cards for alcohol. Frankly I think it's a little presumptuous.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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22-07-2017, 10:04 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(12-07-2017 08:14 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  Since I'm being vulnerable... I think I am. It's admitable. I don't like to get drunk, but I've gotten mellow and stayed there, most days, since Oct 2016, when I was involved in a car crash that, in short, almost killed me. I'm trying not to drink right now, and am realizing that not drinking continually and invariably draws me towards this feeling of misery, which I seem to have been casually drinking away for quite a while. I live in a house with 5, 20 something year old roommates. Beer is as water, wine is as coffee, and so it has gone for quite a time.

I posted earlier about Anhedonia. It was so easy for me to overlook what is likely the source of my mental lethargy, because the drink ignites within a person, an unwarranted contentedness that can only be achieved by artificial cascading releases of dopamine. I seem to have slid into a habit, without paying much attention to my behavior.

I was just trying to feel better I think.

Have you ever had a struggle with the drink?

How did you fare? Or how are you faring?

Did a higher power come into play? How did you quit without the supposedly necessary higher power, if you did?

If you're struggling right now with alcohol, my heart goes out to you. I didn't realize not drinking beer and wine was hard until I actively tried not to.

Regards. You're all lovely.
Yes once upon a time I did. I tried the AA route with a higher power and all that stuff. One fine day maybe 1998 or so I ran across a book called 7 weeks to sobriety. It was written by a mdeical doctor whose son had committed suicide over drinking too much. Her main premise that drinking is not a sin, bit a physical condition. When one driks too much the body changes to accomiate that which is being put into it. Soon even on the days whenone doesn't rink the body does not know how to digest real food any more. Following her advice I took 42 pills per day for a few weeks and her whole program of reprogramming the digestive system took as she implied 7 weeks. After 10 years without a drink statred having an occasional drink. Since then I have had a few drinks, and contrary to AA propaganda I was not right back at the bottom. I have no idea if the book is still available or not. It sure helped me. Another book I read in the same time period was The Small Book, poking fun at The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Its premise is that one needs to make the big decision to never drink gain. AA tells one to say "I will not drink today, I have no idea about tomorrow,Weird!The strangest thing about AA is there is no graduation. One sits in meetings and hears people say " I have been coming to these meetings for 11 years and I am still this close to my next drink." As the stretch out their arm.
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22-07-2017, 10:25 AM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(18-07-2017 02:05 AM)Dworkin Wrote:  
(17-07-2017 07:37 PM)unsapien Wrote:  Yeah that's going to be the hurdle for me this Saturday, my boss is having everyone (& their spouses) at the office come over to his house for a barbecue , there's going to be beer, wine & everything.

It's a strange type of peer pressure that I feel that to say "I'm not going to have anything to drink" at a social gathering is going to make people think there's something wrong with me.

unsapien,

Ain't that the truth!

When our daughter was born I did 7 yrs without alcohol; just felt right at that time. Lost count of the attempts to explain. Like you say, folks just assumed I had 'issues'. Huh

D.

Wow, just wow! I didn't know if others experienced this. I quit drinking when I was pretty young...not because it was a problem but because I didn't want it to become a problem and also because alcohol is not my drug of choice.

I often ran into situations where 'adult beverages' were the norm and was looked at with suspicion when I declined. And questions were sometimes asked.

After I quit drinking for a while and went to Christmas Eve at my parents' house my mother said to me - Are you going to have a drink with us this year or are you still too good for us? Ummm, what? Eventually I realized it was her own struggle with drink that prompted that nasty remark.

Drinking is so socially acceptable...and expected...that it can be uncomfortable to deal with.

Good luck to all of you in your journey to getting and staying sober. I have seen up close and personal how much damage a drinking problem can have on people and those around them.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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22-07-2017, 03:17 PM
RE: Dueling with drink?
(22-07-2017 10:25 AM)Anjele Wrote:  After I quit drinking for a while and went to Christmas Eve at my parents' house my mother said to me - Are you going to have a drink with us this year or are you still too good for us? Ummm, what? Eventually I realized it was her own struggle with drink that prompted that nasty remark.

Hi Anjele,

All I can say is 'wow' back. Gasp The good news is that you processed the experience with wisdom and kindness.

D.
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