Dumb Christian Sayings
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04-03-2016, 08:11 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(04-03-2016 08:05 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  "You don't get into heaven by works; it's by grace."

"So, if I believe in Jesus, I can do what I want?"

"No, you still have to repent of your sins."

"I thought that it was by grace, and not my actions."

"No, you still totally have to do and not do certain things, but those don't count as 'works'."


Apparently "works" is "actions taken other than the actions that get you into or keep you out of heaven". So, to put it another way "You don't get into heaven by actions that have nothing to do with you getting into heaven. It's grace, and actions that get you into heaven.". So, I guess heaven is Tautology Club. And we know the first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club!

So far as I can tell, the whole "grace not works" thing combined with the weird definition of "works" is to satisfy yet another contradiction in the Bible, because it flat-out says both. So, I guess we just redefine "works" until both make sense. Pretty much the same as God's all-loving nature, and the Trinity.
But if you're saved by grace you have Jesus in your heart and will produce fruit of the spirit - you will do good works as a byproduct and won't do bad things. But we all fall short of the glory of god so we need his grace. And when we have his grace we will do good works...

Oh - so I can't stand "I have Jesus in my heart." No, you have blood in it.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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04-03-2016, 08:36 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(04-03-2016 08:11 AM)Nurse Wrote:  But if you're saved by grace you have Jesus in your heart and will produce fruit of the spirit - you will do good works as a byproduct and won't do bad things. But we all fall short of the glory of god so we need his grace. And when we have his grace we will do good works...

As far as I can tell, this is their setup to blame people with a NTS excuse so they can weasel out of their contradiction.

I can't count the number of times when a Christian asked me why I stopped believing that they ultimately call me "not a true Christian".
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04-03-2016, 09:13 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
Anything sports related. I don't have specific quotes but it's not uncommon for athletes to make religious statements out there in an interview.

Apparently God plays a role in beneficial events and wins, but the God talk is strangely absent from the losing side (that seems to carry over to most other topics too). I realize that some are trying to communicate that God gave them the ability to achieve victory while not directly interfering in contests, but I don't think this is always a clear assumption.

I just find some of what's said or acted to be amusing, as if they believe God is sitting up there watching a meaningless sporting event trying to produce a meaningless outcome or that he prefers one pious athlete over another.

"Pray for victory" - what about the other team that prayed for victory?
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04-03-2016, 09:23 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
"jesus died for our sins" i still dont really understand what the fuck that means. someone needs to explain it to me as if i were a 4 year old.
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04-03-2016, 09:28 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
I've turned this into a sort of game at work. Any time I hear someone talking about another person's health, or talking about something nice that person did, In my head I'll go "3...2...1...God... nope...not yet... oh, oh... yeah, here it comes. Jeebus. Yep, I was only 3 seconds off Cool"
It's like clockwork, the spiritual tension just lingers in the air, it's almost palpable. Usually, all it takes to bring it to the surface is a slight .5 to 1 second awkward pause in the conversation.

If we came from dust, then why is there still dust?
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04-03-2016, 10:49 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(04-03-2016 08:11 AM)Nurse Wrote:  
(04-03-2016 08:05 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  "You don't get into heaven by works; it's by grace."

"So, if I believe in Jesus, I can do what I want?"

"No, you still have to repent of your sins."

"I thought that it was by grace, and not my actions."

"No, you still totally have to do and not do certain things, but those don't count as 'works'."


Apparently "works" is "actions taken other than the actions that get you into or keep you out of heaven". So, to put it another way "You don't get into heaven by actions that have nothing to do with you getting into heaven. It's grace, and actions that get you into heaven.". So, I guess heaven is Tautology Club. And we know the first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club!

So far as I can tell, the whole "grace not works" thing combined with the weird definition of "works" is to satisfy yet another contradiction in the Bible, because it flat-out says both. So, I guess we just redefine "works" until both make sense. Pretty much the same as God's all-loving nature, and the Trinity.
But if you're saved by grace you have Jesus in your heart and will produce fruit of the spirit - you will do good works as a byproduct and won't do bad things. But we all fall short of the glory of god so we need his grace. And when we have his grace we will do good works...

Oh - so I can't stand "I have Jesus in my heart." No, you have blood in it.

Don't forget the cholesterol buildup.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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04-03-2016, 12:27 PM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
"I didn't do it. (i.e., found my lost keys, wrote a poem, got a good discount on a pair of shoes, got over a cold, won the bingo game). LORD JESUS did it."
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04-03-2016, 12:36 PM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
"Don't masturbate."

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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04-03-2016, 12:49 PM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(03-03-2016 10:42 PM)EppurSiMuove Wrote:  "god is good always, always god is good"
As if moving one word, and repeating it makes the sentence more powerful.

Oh, and this isn't so much a saying, but I've always been stumped by their weird obsession with Jesus' blood. Funny story, I was like 8, and my uncle took me to his church with him. It was a more formal church, and they began singing old hymns about "the blood of the lamb". I was so horrified. I thought my uncle was some a part of some psychotic cult... Oh wait.. Consider

Yeah, I know a while back (a good while because this is back when I was in church and still a believer) that there was a lot of lamenting going on in the Baptist community because so many songs in contemporary Christian music were "watered down" - only talking about God being loving and "let's all be good to everybody" (they didn't like the generic message of let's all just be good to one another) - when they wanted the focus back on the blood and the sacrifice. At the time it did not seem that odd to me but looking back it's like, yeesh. Blink

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04-03-2016, 03:26 PM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(04-03-2016 12:49 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  
(03-03-2016 10:42 PM)EppurSiMuove Wrote:  "god is good always, always god is good"
As if moving one word, and repeating it makes the sentence more powerful.

Oh, and this isn't so much a saying, but I've always been stumped by their weird obsession with Jesus' blood. Funny story, I was like 8, and my uncle took me to his church with him. It was a more formal church, and they began singing old hymns about "the blood of the lamb". I was so horrified. I thought my uncle was some a part of some psychotic cult... Oh wait.. Consider

Yeah, I know a while back (a good while because this is back when I was in church and still a believer) that there was a lot of lamenting going on in the Baptist community because so many songs in contemporary Christian music were "watered down" - only talking about God being loving and "let's all be good to everybody" (they didn't like the generic message of let's all just be good to one another) - when they wanted the focus back on the blood and the sacrifice. At the time it did not seem that odd to me but looking back it's like, yeesh. Blink

"Yeesh" is correct, that kind of language is just horrific. I recently had a debate with a Christian online and she said the only thing that can wash away sin is blood, either our blood or Jesus' blood and he already died for us so we should accept his blood. How that is moral or right is beyond me.
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