Dumb Christian Sayings
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12-05-2016, 10:10 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(12-05-2016 10:07 AM)smileyjose86 Wrote:  If god really exists and is a benevolent god may he strike me dead at this very moment before I can even finish this thread. See Nothing happened that means that if he really exists he's evil. What more proof do you all want?

I don't understand your test. A benevolent deity wouldn't strike you down. Maybe give you a hug or something.
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12-05-2016, 10:11 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
"Bless her heart."

Okay, this is more of a southern saying than an explicit Christian one. Nonetheless, it's used as an absolution for any shit that you talk behind your friends' and neighbors' backs.

"Poor thing is so ugly, she shouldn't have taken the trouble to show herself in public... bless her heart!"

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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12-05-2016, 10:11 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(12-05-2016 10:05 AM)Born Again Pagan Wrote:  
(12-05-2016 10:00 AM)smileyjose86 Wrote:  I hate it when I do something good for someone and they tell me at the end of our conversation "god bless you" I just cut the conversation when they tell me that stupid phrase they make me not want to help them ever again. Next time someone says "if it's god's will I will do this or that" I am going to tell them It is not god's will it is your will. I also hate it when they thank god for good things they did in life like graduating or getting a reward, god had nothing to do with the work and effort they put into it. It's stupid to think an invisible man was invisibly opening doors for you without you having to do a thing, and worse when you work your ass off to later thank someone who had nothing to do with your hard work effort and dedication. Think about it humans, if a good god really existed we wouldn't be living in this fucked up world full of evil.

20 years ago I stopped to change a tire along I 95 in Miami area for a couple of nuns. "You are such a Christian" The cursed me with. "Nope," I replied "those are the Christians driving past to get to their prayer meetings."

That is true christian wouldn't stop for anything or anyone, they would let you die if you are dying in the middle of the road and they'll use excuses we were running late for service.
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12-05-2016, 10:16 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(12-05-2016 10:10 AM)CosmicRaven Wrote:  
(12-05-2016 10:07 AM)smileyjose86 Wrote:  If god really exists and is a benevolent god may he strike me dead at this very moment before I can even finish this thread. See Nothing happened that means that if he really exists he's evil. What more proof do you all want?

I don't understand your test. A benevolent deity wouldn't strike you down. Maybe give you a hug or something.

Nope you're wrong a benevolent deity, if there really was one. What he or she would do if there was even such thing as one is: to get all humans that have ever lived and will ever live from the beginning of humanity until the end of time He wouldn't have let us even live in this world for not even 1 second.
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12-05-2016, 11:01 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(03-03-2016 08:29 PM)Anjele Wrote:  (S)he's in a better place.

God won't give you more than you can handle.

Yeah it's true all stupid, god testing people's patience hahahaha. Like he did with job, it's all bullshit.
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12-05-2016, 11:05 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(11-03-2016 12:02 AM)jariel Wrote:  "Without Jesus, I am NOTHING."

That gives me the creeps.


Judy


whenever they say that again tell them jesus is not the son of yahweh as a matter of fact he didn't even exist. The proof is simple, too many different stories about him and none coincide. hahahahahahaha
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12-05-2016, 11:14 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(11-03-2016 08:56 AM)Dex Wrote:  [quote='EppurSiMuove' pid='955984' dateline='1457066541']
"god is good always, always god is good"
As if moving one word, and repeating it makes the sentence more powerful.

Our version went like this

Preacher: god is good
Congregants: all the time
Preacher: all the time
Congregants: god is good.


So dumb..

There's nothing good in god, dog is evil. oops did I accidently call god dog. hahahaha sorry. I really meant god is evil. But yeah he's really like a dog because he is an animal.
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12-05-2016, 11:19 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(12-05-2016 05:58 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  
(11-05-2016 03:18 PM)CosmicRaven Wrote:  "LIke and share for Jesus. Ignore for satan." (Facebook)

Maybe I should start posting "hail Satan!" in the comments. It might become a bit of a self-correcting problem.


(11-05-2016 03:18 PM)CosmicRaven Wrote:  "God doesn't allow anything we can't handle."

It's amazing the shit people have been able to handle, over the ages. It's a good thing all of the slaves were able to handle slavery, and all of the Jews were able to handle the holocaust. God would have been a dick if they hadn't been able to.


If one strikes you on your right cheek turn your other cheek, if someone asks for your wife give him also your daughters and sons. hahahaha
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12-05-2016, 11:21 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(03-03-2016 08:04 PM)Seeking_Truth Wrote:  Don't forget the classic: "God works in mysterious ways". The "get out jail" card of christianity.

Hey so do we human beings, one day we are happy the next day we're sad and the following day we're mad at everyone. We too work in mysterious ways. hahaha
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12-05-2016, 11:23 AM
RE: Dumb Christian Sayings
(03-03-2016 08:09 PM)julep Wrote:  By far the most annoying: God (or Jeebus) loves you. On earth, god's kind of love generates restraining orders.

Plus anything that "passes understanding."

all you have to say to that is, if god really loved me I wouldn't have come to this world in the first place.
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