Easter services
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18-04-2014, 11:45 AM
Easter services
Anybody else gearing up for attending church services with their extended family this weekend? This is my first holiday as a (still-closeted) atheist, and I'm not really looking forward to sitting in the pew with my lovely-but-pious Catholic family. Any tips from seasoned de-converted atheists? Smile

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18-04-2014, 11:51 AM
RE: Easter services
My Catholic observance of this week consisted of driving past the Catholic church down the road (that I have never stepped foot in) last night and observing that the parking lot was full.

Perhaps I will observe the same tonight when I go by there. That'll be it for me.

I think the last time I was at a mass was when my cousin was married in 1987. Somehow I don't think I have missed anything.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude.
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18-04-2014, 12:01 PM
RE: Easter services
I'm pretty sure even my religious family finds Easter service to be way too long and boring. The most I have to sit through is a fifteen minute food blessing, but even then I can just wait in the car with my phone and iPod.

If you're looking for something to entertain yourself, pay attention, and silently dissect everything said. If you're looking for a way to not feel like you're surrounded by loons, there's no helping with that.
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18-04-2014, 12:08 PM
RE: Easter services
I imagine I'll find lots of ways to affirm my newish lack of belief.

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18-04-2014, 12:10 PM
RE: Easter services
(18-04-2014 12:08 PM)31:25 Wrote:  I imagine I'll find lots of ways to affirm my newish lack of belief.

All you have to do is look critically at what is actually going on at Easter mass. It's focused on someone dying a horrible death and coming back to life. Later, you get to eat part of him. Should be affirmation enough. Sorry you have to sit through that.

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18-04-2014, 12:12 PM
RE: Easter services
Hah! I ducked this Easter. No services for me Big Grin

I dunno, think you're just gonna have to grit your teeth if you're not willing to find an excuse. I loathe going to my parents' church these days - still go occasionally 'cos of reasons. They're good people there but it just drives me crazy... they sit there and the pastor tells them some... fucking dumb story...

Fuck, here's an example. I was sitting in Church (I went to support my old man, he sings in the choir so I figured I'd show my face and listen - he always goes to my stuff when he gets the chance). Actually I didn't realise it was a service until my bum was in the seat, more fool me - I thought it was a worship evening with lots of singing, which I *can* just manage to live with. Anyway the *whole* bloody sermon was based around this one verse... lemme see if I can find it...

Quote:Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
-- John 12:24 (New International Version)

Now the whole damn sermon is centred around this verse but it didn't seem to bother anyone that it is *factually incorrect*. If the seed dies *it does not reproduce*. Facepalm

I mean OK, it was a lame sermon anyway - the usual drivel - love each other, God wants you to be nice etc. ('cos no one's nice without being *told* to be so by their pastor Dodgy ) - but... fuck, pick a less blatantly embarrassing verse to focus on please. Jeez...

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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18-04-2014, 12:30 PM
RE: Easter services
(18-04-2014 11:45 AM)31:25 Wrote:  Anybody else gearing up for attending church services with their extended family this weekend? This is my first holiday as a (still-closeted) atheist, and I'm not really looking forward to sitting in the pew with my lovely-but-pious Catholic family. Any tips from seasoned de-converted atheists? Smile

I go to church most Sundays with my wife and kids, and Easter will be no exception. The difference is that I'm not closeted about my atheism, and I'm mostly there as daycare for the kids. I know several of the people in the small-group service know I'm atheist. I haven't specifically told everyone else, but they've likely figured it out in that I haven't taken communion with them in years. Also, when we run around shaking hands saying "peace of Christ", I always say "peace be with you".

As for advice, assuming you don't want people to know you're an atheist, fake it as best as you can and be glad that it will all be over relatively soon. I suppose you could stage a lengthy bathroom run if you really need to get out of there for some particularly annoying part of the service, but it's really up to you.
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18-04-2014, 12:52 PM
RE: Easter services
I think its best to come out of the closet asap... Its going to happen one day, and your family might accept it more if you come out straight away, rather than spend the next three years deceiving them.

You can expect raised voices and tears... But its probably best to get it out of the way sooner rather than later.

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18-04-2014, 01:01 PM
RE: Easter services
(18-04-2014 11:45 AM)31:25 Wrote:  Anybody else gearing up for attending church services with their extended family this weekend? This is my first holiday as a (still-closeted) atheist, and I'm not really looking forward to sitting in the pew with my lovely-but-pious Catholic family. Any tips from seasoned de-converted atheists? Smile
I guess just try to make the best of it. Fortunately, it only lasts an hour or so. I honestly don't envy you. No

The last time I went to a Catholic service was at my father's funeral a few months ago. It was bad enough to be at a mass that I don't believe in, but it being his funeral made it even worse. Nothing there was for me when I was hurting as much as anyone else. But I made the best of it. I knelt when everyone else knelt and stood up when everyone else stood up out of respect for being in their environment. I couldn't bring myself to say the prayers though. I was going to stay in my seat for communion, but because we were the immediate family of the deceased, the priest brought communion to us. Ugh! That was awkward because I had to refuse it directly. My family knows I'm an atheist and considers it a sin for me to receive communion as an atheist so there was no real choice for me. Years ago, when I was still closeted and going to church with my family, I had received communion with everyone else. I had figured it's not real so I wasn't doing anything wrong by receiving it and didn't want to bring questions upon myself. That sounds like the position you may be in. So that's what I would probably do in your shoes.

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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18-04-2014, 01:04 PM
RE: Easter services
Just driving my grandma to church and pretending as if I cared.

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