Empty Feeling.
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05-01-2014, 12:17 PM
Empty Feeling.
I have wrote before about how I suffer from depression. In the past I have been in some very dark places where I have wanted to end my life. Luckily due to the advice from here and my close friends and family I got through those dark days and got the support I needed. That was nearly a year ago.

Now I have full control of my life and have changed the way that I live to combat my depression. I eat very healthily, I jog between 12-18 miles a day, four days a week at work and I go out on bike rides some weekends so I get plenty of exercise. I have my hobbies to keep me busy and I have a good group of friends who I socialise with. Whilst I am not on the greatest pay scale I am lucky that my monthly bills to live only account for about a third of my wages. So I have plenty of free money and have been fortunate to save quite a bit. I have goals in my life and things I am currently working towards.

So I am grateful for my life. I realise that I am fortunate to be in the position that I am and that whilst some of it is down to luck (with regards to not loosing my job and certain options) the rest of my situation has been crafted by myself through my own ongoing hard work and actions.

From my own personal perspective I break depression down into two parts.

1: A chemical imbalance in your brain that leads to..
2: A negative psychological state.

So whilst I am doing everything I can positively to combat both of these parts I am left with just feeling empty still. I have lost that spark within myself that had fun and took simple enjoyment out of life.

I have took anti-depressants before and I would recommend to anybody who is suffering to the point of suicide to take them, however I do not wish to see/use them as a permanent solution. The irony is though that I am a recreational drug user. My drug use was part of my problem and I self medicated to block life out for years. However now I have control of it and use it as a reward and do not indulge to the levels of excess that I used to (weed)

I do not want to "rely" on anti-d's to make me feel happier though because it is only treating the symptom when I wish to deal with the problem. I cannot think of anything else to do though to naturally improve the chemical imbalance in my head that I am doing every day now though.

Maybe I am just being impatient, maybe I can never gain that lost spark I feel I have lost and have to rebuild myself another but any thoughts would be appreciated.

Respeck Shy

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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05-01-2014, 12:19 PM
RE: Empty Feeling.
Oh just sending many hugs.

I will say there's nothing wrong with using antidepressants while you're seeking or actively solving the problem.

Hug


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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05-01-2014, 12:25 PM
RE: Empty Feeling.
Is there something you always wanted to do but haven't?

Photography? Maybe take a class or just play around. Woodworking...I find that making something with your hands can be really therapeutic and both are skills you can continue to improve and even make money at.

Perhaps not either of those but just trying something completely different that has caught your attention at some point but you didn't act on it.

Just some thoughts. I tend to cycle my hobbies around when I am not in school. I read and I sew...a couple weeks ago I was pretty low and started back on my anti-d's but I also made myself dig out fabric I had and finally made some repairs to a quilt my great grandmother made for me. I found that figuring out what to do to fix it and the actual act of seeing it come back together made me happy.

Once school is done in the spring, I am digging out the cameras that were my dad's and figuring out all the buttons and settings so I can maybe finally take more decent pictures than blurry, poorly framed ones.

Keep one moving forward...props on the running.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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05-01-2014, 12:26 PM
RE: Empty Feeling.
(05-01-2014 12:19 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Oh just sending many hugs.

I will say there's nothing wrong with using antidepressants while you're seeking or actively solving the problem.

Hug

I agree, they are a critical lifeline. I do not wish to take them forever though as my body will get used to them eventually and I will have to either increase the dosage or change drugs. So my life will in some ways will be dictated through a tablet, which I would rather avoid.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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05-01-2014, 12:29 PM
RE: Empty Feeling.
(05-01-2014 12:17 PM)bemore Wrote:  I have wrote before about how I suffer from depression. In the past I have been in some very dark places where I have wanted to end my life. Luckily due to the advice from here and my close friends and family I got through those dark days and got the support I needed. That was nearly a year ago.

Now I have full control of my life and have changed the way that I live to combat my depression. I eat very healthily, I jog between 12-18 miles a day, four days a week at work and I go out on bike rides some weekends so I get plenty of exercise. I have my hobbies to keep me busy and I have a good group of friends who I socialise with. Whilst I am not on the greatest pay scale I am lucky that my monthly bills to live only account for about a third of my wages. So I have plenty of free money and have been fortunate to save quite a bit. I have goals in my life and things I am currently working towards.

So I am grateful for my life. I realise that I am fortunate to be in the position that I am and that whilst some of it is down to luck (with regards to not loosing my job and certain options) the rest of my situation has been crafted by myself through my own ongoing hard work and actions.

From my own personal perspective I break depression down into two parts.

1: A chemical imbalance in your brain that leads to..
2: A negative psychological state.

So whilst I am doing everything I can positively to combat both of these parts I am left with just feeling empty still. I have lost that spark within myself that had fun and took simple enjoyment out of life.

I have took anti-depressants before and I would recommend to anybody who is suffering to the point of suicide to take them, however I do not wish to see/use them as a permanent solution. The irony is though that I am a recreational drug user. My drug use was part of my problem and I self medicated to block life out for years. However now I have control of it and use it as a reward and do not indulge to the levels of excess that I used to (weed)

I do not want to "rely" on anti-d's to make me feel happier though because it is only treating the symptom when I wish to deal with the problem. I cannot think of anything else to do though to naturally improve the chemical imbalance in my head that I am doing every day now though.

Maybe I am just being impatient, maybe I can never gain that lost spark I feel I have lost and have to rebuild myself another but any thoughts would be appreciated.

Respeck Shy

I'm very happy for you. I will say be sure to squirrel away some of that available income for hard times. Yes

As for anti-depressants, they may be required. If the root of your emptiness/depression is a chemical imbalance that is not fixed be diet and exercise, then anti-depressants may be the long-term solution.

Good on yeh for attacking it head on. Thumbsup

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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05-01-2014, 12:33 PM
RE: Empty Feeling.
(05-01-2014 12:25 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Is there something you always wanted to do but haven't?

Photography? Maybe take a class or just play around. Woodworking...I find that making something with your hands can be really therapeutic and both are skills you can continue to improve and even make money at.

Perhaps not either of those but just trying something completely different that has caught your attention at some point but you didn't act on it.

Just some thoughts. I tend to cycle my hobbies around when I am not in school. I read and I sew...a couple weeks ago I was pretty low and started back on my anti-d's but I also made myself dig out fabric I had and finally made some repairs to a quilt my great grandmother made for me. I found that figuring out what to do to fix it and the actual act of seeing it come back together made me happy.

Once school is done in the spring, I am digging out the cameras that were my dad's and figuring out all the buttons and settings so I can maybe finally take more decent pictures than blurry, poorly framed ones.

Keep one moving forward...props on the running.

I have gotten my life together to the point which I would consider as "healthily normal" and busy. I have goals I am working towards for the future and I look more forward than backwards. Life is still a struggle sometimes but I just force myself to deal with it now where in the past I would not have.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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05-01-2014, 12:41 PM
RE: Empty Feeling.
(05-01-2014 12:29 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(05-01-2014 12:17 PM)bemore Wrote:  I have wrote before about how I suffer from depression. In the past I have been in some very dark places where I have wanted to end my life. Luckily due to the advice from here and my close friends and family I got through those dark days and got the support I needed. That was nearly a year ago.

Now I have full control of my life and have changed the way that I live to combat my depression. I eat very healthily, I jog between 12-18 miles a day, four days a week at work and I go out on bike rides some weekends so I get plenty of exercise. I have my hobbies to keep me busy and I have a good group of friends who I socialise with. Whilst I am not on the greatest pay scale I am lucky that my monthly bills to live only account for about a third of my wages. So I have plenty of free money and have been fortunate to save quite a bit. I have goals in my life and things I am currently working towards.

So I am grateful for my life. I realise that I am fortunate to be in the position that I am and that whilst some of it is down to luck (with regards to not loosing my job and certain options) the rest of my situation has been crafted by myself through my own ongoing hard work and actions.

From my own personal perspective I break depression down into two parts.

1: A chemical imbalance in your brain that leads to..
2: A negative psychological state.

So whilst I am doing everything I can positively to combat both of these parts I am left with just feeling empty still. I have lost that spark within myself that had fun and took simple enjoyment out of life.

I have took anti-depressants before and I would recommend to anybody who is suffering to the point of suicide to take them, however I do not wish to see/use them as a permanent solution. The irony is though that I am a recreational drug user. My drug use was part of my problem and I self medicated to block life out for years. However now I have control of it and use it as a reward and do not indulge to the levels of excess that I used to (weed)

I do not want to "rely" on anti-d's to make me feel happier though because it is only treating the symptom when I wish to deal with the problem. I cannot think of anything else to do though to naturally improve the chemical imbalance in my head that I am doing every day now though.

Maybe I am just being impatient, maybe I can never gain that lost spark I feel I have lost and have to rebuild myself another but any thoughts would be appreciated.

Respeck Shy

I'm very happy for you. I will say be sure to squirrel away some of that available income for hard times. Yes

As for anti-depressants, they may be required. If the root of your emptiness/depression is a chemical imbalance that is not fixed be diet and exercise, then anti-depressants may be the long-term solution.

Good on yeh for attacking it head on. Thumbsup

Thanks Chas.

You may be right and I may have to use it as an option, I just wanna try everything/anything else before I commit down that route though.

I have even considered toying with veganism Shocking

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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05-01-2014, 12:52 PM
RE: Empty Feeling.
Just wanted to say Hug and keep on keeping on. You've given me good advice in the past which (in tandem with advice from others here as well) helped me to get out of my own depressing situation. I realize yours is not the same situation, but still. Hugs from me and I hope things begin to look up for you.

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05-01-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: Empty Feeling.
Hug

Just leaving you a hug and to say Hope You Feel Better SOON!

(ps - I think you've got a good handle on things :thumbsupSmile

oxox

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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05-01-2014, 01:53 PM (This post was last modified: 06-01-2014 08:42 AM by OddGamer.)
RE: Empty Feeling.
You are quite lucky. I'm glad you have had and do have the resources to help deal with things. I probably do as well but for some reason I'm just too messed to do it. I hope you find something to live for. Give it a bit of time, search for things if you can. It sounds like you have quite a few options. Thumbsup
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