Engagement rings....WHY?
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06-01-2016, 11:10 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
I bought my husband his wedding ring which he still wears. It's gold and platinum. When he asked me to marry him he put my engagement ring in a box of Godiva chocolates and shoved the ring up inside the underside of one of the chocolate truffles. I still have the chocolate box because... because I'm a sentimental slob. The ring is about the thought behind it as are flowers and other doo-dads.

I wonder.....if guys traditionally got motorcycles or sports cars when they got engaged..... I wonder if they'd turn it down. Consider

I doubt it. Tongue

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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06-01-2016, 11:15 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 11:07 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I used the word begrudgingly based on this quote from your post: "A little rock set into gold is romance? Not to me. It's cold to the touch." You are right, it's hard to get a true meaning of things via text on the internet--so maybe I misunderstood your opinion based on that.

We all do things for our partners that we may not feel whole-heartedly. Me, I don't see jewelry as romantic, but that doesn't mean I disparage a woman's view if she does. It just means that that's my own opinion. I'm romantic about experiences, not material things -- one of the good things about suffering poverty earlier in my life is that I learnt to place my values on experiences rather than material items.

I was trying to express this sentiment in one sentence when I wrote what you quoted above ... and clearly failed to get the point across.
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06-01-2016, 11:18 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 10:42 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(06-01-2016 10:25 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Yeah, all of that is obvious, thanks. I was simply giving my own opinion about a social tradition. Didn't you see the part where I said I'd buy her a ring if it made her happy? I guess not.

I don't think I'd want a ring from someone who was begrudgingly giving it to me. If the person giving me the ring thought it was meaningless and "cold" of me to want one, then I certainly wouldn't want a ring from someone like that. The ring itself takes on meaning (even a $5 ring) because it means something to the person who is giving the ring--as well as the person receiving the ring. YMMV.
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06-01-2016, 11:20 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
Expensive engagement rings are nothing but divorce insurance.
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06-01-2016, 11:22 AM (This post was last modified: 06-01-2016 11:28 AM by jennybee.)
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 11:15 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(06-01-2016 11:07 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I used the word begrudgingly based on this quote from your post: "A little rock set into gold is romance? Not to me. It's cold to the touch." You are right, it's hard to get a true meaning of things via text on the internet--so maybe I misunderstood your opinion based on that.

We all do things for our partners that we may not feel whole-heartedly. Me, I don't see jewelry as romantic, but that doesn't mean I disparage a woman's view if she does. It just means that that's my own opinion. I'm romantic about experiences, not material things -- one of the good things about suffering poverty earlier in my life is that I learnt to place my values on experiences rather than material items.

I was trying to express this sentiment in one sentence when I wrote what you quoted above ... and clearly failed to get the point across.

But rings don't have to be materialistic. You could purchase a sterling silver claddagh ring for about 15-25 bucks, for instance. Rings don't have to mean big money. Sometimes it's the little things that can still have a lot of emotional significance.
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06-01-2016, 11:36 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 11:22 AM)jennybee Wrote:  But rings don't have to be materialistic. You could purchase a sterling silver claddagh ring for about 15-25 bucks, for instance. Rings don't have to mean big money. Sometimes it's the little things that can still have a lot of emotional significance.

Oh, I get that. She may well get that too.

It's her mom and her dad thinking that he won't be a good husband because he's a cheapskate ... her co-workers and the ladies at the gym looking down on her for her poor choice in men ... like it or not, there's both direct and indirect pressure on men to spend a large sum of money -- money they may not have, money they have to borrow -- in order to satisfy many women, or their parents, or social standards that may or may not be explicit.

I get it that you're not one of those women. My girlfriend isn't, either. But there are many, many women who have imbibed the materialistic values imparted by DeBeers and their brutally efficient ad campaigns.
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06-01-2016, 11:46 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 09:33 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(06-01-2016 09:29 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  Yeah, but you would never do that (propose), nor would you be expected to Tongue.

I would propose to a bf. I would give them a ring too. Then I'd buy the vintage opal ring for myself Tongue

I agree, men are typically the ones who propose in our society, but I think times are changing in that arena, with women starting to propose to men as well.
Oh my bad, I thought I saw you say earlier that you would never propose to a guy. Sorry Smile

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06-01-2016, 11:47 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 11:36 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(06-01-2016 11:22 AM)jennybee Wrote:  But rings don't have to be materialistic. You could purchase a sterling silver claddagh ring for about 15-25 bucks, for instance. Rings don't have to mean big money. Sometimes it's the little things that can still have a lot of emotional significance.

Oh, I get that. She may well get that too.

It's her mom and her dad thinking that he won't be a good husband because he's a cheapskate ... her co-workers and the ladies at the gym looking down on her for her poor choice in men ... like it or not, there's both direct and indirect pressure on men to spend a large sum of money -- money they may not have, money they have to borrow -- in order to satisfy many women, or their parents, or social standards that may or may not be explicit.

I get it that you're not one of those women. My girlfriend isn't, either. But there are many, many women who have imbibed the materialistic values imparted by DeBeers and their brutally efficient ad campaigns.

I think that is kind of old school thinking. My family and friends would never think that way about a man if I got a claddagh ring instead of a huge rock. If my family and friends saw how well I was treated by my fiance--that would be what was important to them and not the size of the ring. Additionally, if anyone said anything, I would explain to them it was my choice to have a more understated ring because I want to wear it all the time and I live an active lifestyle. I could give two fucks what my co-workers think. Also, I'm a vegan atheist, if I worried about people's opinions on how I choose to live my life, I would never leave my house Tongue
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06-01-2016, 11:49 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 11:46 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(06-01-2016 09:33 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I would propose to a bf. I would give them a ring too. Then I'd buy the vintage opal ring for myself Tongue

I agree, men are typically the ones who propose in our society, but I think times are changing in that arena, with women starting to propose to men as well.
Oh my bad, I thought I saw you say earlier that you would never propose to a guy. Sorry Smile

I would definitely propose to a guy and do something romantic for it too. Heart
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06-01-2016, 11:56 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
Around here engagement rings worth of a price of a house is not a thing, yet... We mostly go for platinum or gold band rings for engagement/marriage.

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