Engagement rings....WHY?
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10-01-2016, 09:25 PM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(10-01-2016 09:12 PM)Aliza Wrote:  
(10-01-2016 07:34 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Why? Why are her wishes more important than his?

Why are his more important than hers? Tongue
They aren't. But if you are buying something for somebody, it's your freedom to choose what you are buying.

"You have to buy me *this* (and only this)" Is not an acceptable attitude in my opinion, for anybody.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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10-01-2016, 09:27 PM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(10-01-2016 09:14 PM)Banjo Wrote:  
(10-01-2016 09:12 PM)Aliza Wrote:  Why are his more important than hers? Tongue

Because he had to pay for the shit.

Marriage is just a really bad form of prostitution.

Well, let's say that he shells out 4 or 5 grand for a modest ring, and her family shells out 75 - 100 grand for the wedding. Maybe her sweet father who she loves so much throws in a pair of new cars as an engagement present and he also pays for the honeymoon. Is the ring so unreasonable if she really wants it?

Now if money is a problem, then she may have to be reasonable and agree to spend the cash on something more practical. But if the groom-to-be can afford a ring, and simply refuses to get her one, then he's pushing unwanted values onto her.
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10-01-2016, 09:28 PM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(10-01-2016 07:34 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(10-01-2016 06:03 PM)Black Eagle Wrote:  Most important, this is not about the guy who would give the diamond. Fuck him. It is about the woman who might want the diamond and her wishes govern the decision, or at least they should.
Why? Why are her wishes more important than his?

I don't believe her wishes are more important than his. Some women find joy in different items than men and that's ok. What's important is that you agree upfront on things.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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10-01-2016, 09:48 PM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(10-01-2016 09:27 PM)Aliza Wrote:  Well, let's say that he shells out 4 or 5 grand for a modest ring, and her family shells out 75 - 100 grand for the wedding. Maybe her sweet father who she loves so much throws in a pair of new cars as an engagement present and he also pays for the honeymoon. Is the ring so unreasonable if she really wants it?

Now if money is a problem, then she may have to be reasonable and agree to spend the cash on something more practical. But if the groom-to-be can afford a ring, and simply refuses to get her one, then he's pushing unwanted values onto her.

So marriage is only suitable for idealised rich families?

Yeah I know.

Until the divorce. BTW, the average American marriage lasts 8.3 years.

Then comes the alimony.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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11-01-2016, 09:33 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(10-01-2016 09:27 PM)Aliza Wrote:  
(10-01-2016 09:14 PM)Banjo Wrote:  Because he had to pay for the shit.

Marriage is just a really bad form of prostitution.

Well, let's say that he shells out 4 or 5 grand for a modest ring, and her family shells out 75 - 100 grand for the wedding. Maybe her sweet father who she loves so much throws in a pair of new cars as an engagement present and he also pays for the honeymoon. Is the ring so unreasonable if she really wants it?
Everything bolded is an excessive waste of money IMO. As far as gifts, it's up to the giver what to give. If the father chooses to give those things then good for him. Ultimately I strongly believe that people should be able to choose how to spend their own money (without strong pressure to follow customs or trends).

E.g. I plan to tell guests at my wedding that they are under no obligation to bring gifts.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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11-01-2016, 10:16 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(11-01-2016 09:33 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(10-01-2016 09:27 PM)Aliza Wrote:  Well, let's say that he shells out 4 or 5 grand for a modest ring, and her family shells out 75 - 100 grand for the wedding. Maybe her sweet father who she loves so much throws in a pair of new cars as an engagement present and he also pays for the honeymoon. Is the ring so unreasonable if she really wants it?
Everything bolded is an excessive waste of money IMO. As far as gifts, it's up to the giver what to give. If the father chooses to give those things then good for him. Ultimately I strongly believe that people should be able to choose how to spend their own money (without strong pressure to follow customs or trends).

E.g. I plan to tell guests at my wedding that they are under no obligation to bring gifts.

Bottom line, Adrianime, you two have a wonderful wedding. Weddings are beautiful if the two people are married under a oak tree or on a roller coaster or while scuba diving. It doesn't matter. If you want to exchange a kiss instead of rings, fantastic. I think weddings are much more flexible these days. People get married in all kind of ways....or they simply live together.

My oldest brother is an old hippy. When he got married up in Canada he chose a field with a small tree in the middle of it. He put, or should I say pasted, a bandaid on his wife's finger. Then everyone dropped a bunch of LSD and tripped out for a few days. ( I wasn't there but I heard about it later, I was around 8 or 9 at the time.)

Big Grin

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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11-01-2016, 10:18 AM (This post was last modified: 11-01-2016 12:10 PM by Mr. Boston.)
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
I bought my wife an engagement ring, she bought me an engagement Stratocaster. We both got what we wanted and didn't spend crazy money, less than 3 grand in total between the two items - certainly not 2 months' salary. When it came time to put a down payment on a house, having that extra money in the bank wouldn't have made a notable difference.
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11-01-2016, 11:05 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(11-01-2016 09:33 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(10-01-2016 09:27 PM)Aliza Wrote:  Well, let's say that he shells out 4 or 5 grand for a modest ring, and her family shells out 75 - 100 grand for the wedding. Maybe her sweet father who she loves so much throws in a pair of new cars as an engagement present and he also pays for the honeymoon. Is the ring so unreasonable if she really wants it?
Everything bolded is an excessive waste of money IMO. As far as gifts, it's up to the giver what to give. If the father chooses to give those things then good for him. Ultimately I strongly believe that people should be able to choose how to spend their own money (without strong pressure to follow customs or trends).

E.g. I plan to tell guests at my wedding that they are under no obligation to bring gifts.

Yes, everything bolded is excessive. But when money is off the table as the limiting factor, then not getting the ring is just a principle that the man is holding. And if he refuses to compromise (when it's something that she really wants), then it boils down to him pushing his values onto her and her being forced to accept it.
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11-01-2016, 11:43 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
Is this ring rant for the same girl you had a prenup rant about recently?

Lucky gal. Lol.

Tongue
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11-01-2016, 11:54 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(11-01-2016 11:43 AM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Is this ring rant for the same girl you had a prenup rant about recently?

Lucky gal. Lol.

Tongue
This isn't a rant, it's a discussion. And very few things piss me off, but insulting my relationship is one of them.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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