Engagement rings....WHY?
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05-01-2016, 07:04 PM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(05-01-2016 06:56 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(05-01-2016 06:54 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  OMG! It'd match my hat! Big Grin
[Image: 9b65d3b91ea40b9d4663412fb0016e4c.jpg]

I now think engagement rings should be for dudes, too! Come on, ladies! Sadcryface
It matches my hat!

Well, if it matches your hat...what does the engraving say? "It matches my hat?" Big Grin

I wouldn't get one with words n such on it! Rolleyes
I just saw the Skull & Crossbones, and went all fish-to-a-lure over it! Tongue

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05-01-2016, 07:10 PM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(05-01-2016 07:04 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  
(05-01-2016 06:56 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Well, if it matches your hat...what does the engraving say? "It matches my hat?" Big Grin

I wouldn't get one with words n such on it! Rolleyes
I just saw the Skull & Crossbones, and went all fish-to-a-lure over it! Tongue

you should get one!
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05-01-2016, 07:13 PM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
How 'bout this?

[Image: Free-Shipping-USA-UK-Canada-Russia-Brazi...theist.jpg]

Or this.....

[Image: 0e165c300625842f298f3813ce3be4d0.gif]

or maybe this evolve ring....

[Image: 101497d7b7614731edf8e8cb7cea16dc.jpg]

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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05-01-2016, 07:32 PM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
There's a sentimental tradition with engagement rings in my fiance's and my families, so my e-ring has special value beyond just a piece of beautiful jewelry. I highly encourage buying only conflict-free diamonds or jewels, however.

Be true to yourself. Heart
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06-01-2016, 01:05 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
What is wrong with wanting something just because it's a stupid tradition. I feel like there's an overwhelming hipsterish anti-conformity attitude. Like...if you want something that most people want....oh no we are very against that. You probably only like it because everyone does it.

And so what if she does (whatever hypothetical person wants an engagement ring, doesn't necessarily have to be a woman)? She's been told her whole life that this day will come with a very special and pretty ring. She has seen other people adorning such jewelry with gazes of true love glazing over their faces on countless occasions. She's been waiting for this day. For this person. For this moment. When someone she loves will love her back and want commit to her in the "ultimate" commitment of marriage. And so...she wants everything that comes with that, the whole package.

So what if engagement rings are stupid traditions with no real value, so is marriage, but people do for themselves and their partners whatever makes them happy. I don't understand the problem.

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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06-01-2016, 02:05 AM (This post was last modified: 06-01-2016 02:25 AM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
Firstly: I refuse to support the diamond industry, given the fact that awful wars have been and still are waged funded by war diamonds.

Secondly, if I love the woman enough and she absolutely insists on finger-dressing, I'll be happy to buy her a trinket, but to be honest, I'm not very attracted to anyone who confuses the finger pointing at the Moon for the Moon itself. Symbolism is great, if you're a writer. Symbolism is not so great in an emotional context, because (in this instance) it represents a large expenditure of resources that would be better-spent actually buttressing the relationship. That three thousand dollars could go to making memories, you know? Take a trip. Go on a cruise. Buy materials and spend time together building a porch, or taking college classes together.

If she's mollified by jewelry, she's probably too simple anyway; the real deal is the relationship, not its symbols. The finger pointing at the Moon is not the Moon.

Thirdly, in this Age of Equality, the idea that the man has to lay out thousands of dollars to demonstrate his "love" -- er, financial stability -- while the allegedly equal partner has no obligation at all, and can even walk away with the gift, sell it, and get financial as well as emotional gratification, is silly.

That said, if I ever get lost and stumble down the path to marriage, I'll probably buy her a decent ring, in order to avoid later recriminations. But I don't see that happening.

(04-01-2016 02:27 PM)Nurse Wrote:  
(04-01-2016 02:23 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think one ring is enough--but here's my take on it: I would want the engagement ring and I would use that as my wedding ring. Since I want a vintage engagement ring, I don't want another ring to add to it. To me the engagement ring is part of the romance and when I got married the engagement ring would "become" my wedding ring.

Keyword: romance

That, and three bucks, will get you a cappuccino down at Starbucks. Romance works both ways. Putting a diamond-sized price tag on it, is that romantic?

Romance is walking through a a sleepy fishing village on a Sunday morning, giving her breakfast in bed, laughing together on a roller coaster that's scaring the shit out of both of you, a quiet evening on the couch with her face in her sudoku, yours in your crossword, and her legs on yours as you idly caress them, an shoulder-rub as you walk by in the kitchen.

A little rock set into gold is romance? Not to me. It's cold to the touch.
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06-01-2016, 02:41 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
$3000.00?? Wtf? Lol wow

This is more my style http://www.e-weddingbands.com/store/prod...oCcpzw_wcB

Thump, sometimes it's not about the jewelry it's about the idea. The way it makes a person feel. And sometimes if you love someone you should let them have their silly things because it makes them feel good.

Every time someone sees that ring they will know you're engaged. Some people love that idea.

I just think it's silly to read so much into someone wanting an engagement ring, when you're the one marrying them in the first place. What makes marriage less silly and meaningless than engagement rings?

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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06-01-2016, 03:02 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 01:05 AM)Losty Wrote:  What is wrong with wanting something just because it's a stupid tradition. I feel like there's an overwhelming hipsterish anti-conformity attitude. Like...if you want something that most people want....oh no we are very against that. You probably only like it because everyone does it.

And so what if she does (whatever hypothetical person wants an engagement ring, doesn't necessarily have to be a woman)? She's been told her whole life that this day will come with a very special and pretty ring. She has seen other people adorning such jewelry with gazes of true love glazing over their faces on countless occasions. She's been waiting for this day. For this person. For this moment. When someone she loves will love her back and want commit to her in the "ultimate" commitment of marriage. And so...she wants everything that comes with that, the whole package.

So what if engagement rings are stupid traditions with no real value, so is marriage, but people do for themselves and their partners whatever makes them happy. I don't understand the problem.

I think the OP made his point clear, that the inequity of expectations -- man needs to fork over x thousand dollars for a ring (which is one hell of an investment in time, unless you're a lawyer), but at the same time, what expectation is laid upon the bride-to-be? Show up on time and say "I do".

Social expectations lay more burden upon the man than they do upon the woman, financially. Ever ask yourself why "going Dutch" is considered de classè, for a man? The tradition of a diamond ring as a symbol reduces a man to a dollar figure, in one sense. Much more attractive is the woman who appreciates the labor involved in earning that money to the extent that she doesn't wish to see it squandered on a bauble.
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06-01-2016, 03:05 AM
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
If I were to get married, I would be fine buying my own ring and I would also use whatever methods of convincing necessary to get my partner to let me buy them a ring they'd actually wear also. I kind of actually like the idea of the rings without the marriage lol.

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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06-01-2016, 03:13 AM (This post was last modified: 06-01-2016 03:22 AM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: Engagement rings....WHY?
(06-01-2016 02:41 AM)Losty Wrote:  $3000.00?? Wtf? Lol wow

This is more my style http://www.e-weddingbands.com/store/prod...oCcpzw_wcB

Thump, sometimes it's not about the jewelry it's about the idea. The way it makes a person feel. And sometimes if you love someone you should let them have their silly things because it makes them feel good.

Every time someone sees that ring they will know you're engaged. Some people love that idea.

Like I said, if she insists on it, I'll buy it, because dat ass can make a man do some crazy stuff. But if she prices our love based on the purchase price of a ring, how much is that love really worth?

(06-01-2016 02:41 AM)Losty Wrote:  I just think it's silly to read so much into someone wanting an engagement ring, when you're the one marrying them in the first place. What makes marriage less silly and meaningless than engagement rings?

Marriage isn't something I've broached here. I don't think marriage is less silly than trinkets; I think marriage is a legal and social construct that has evolved in order to afford the married partners a heightened sense of security in their relationship. But, having seen my own mother married not once, not twice, not three, but four times, I can tell you this: those engagement rings didn't mean a fucking thing when the shit hit the fan. They were money thrown away.

The finger pointing at the Moon is not the Moon. The symbol of love doesn't ensure the liveliness of love. A loving partner doesn't make exquisite demands. A loving partner stretches his ass on overtime to earn the money to buy that ring.

What is that all really worth to you?

/working-class can't-afford-a-diamond-ring-rant
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