Enlightenment with the God
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23-12-2017, 05:15 AM
Enlightenment with the God
God: Hello Swidhe.
Swidhe: Hello God.
G: How are you?
S: Not bad. How are you?
G: I'm perfect.
G: Mercy or sanctity?
S: Mercy.
G: Heaven or friend?
S: Friend.
G: Kindness or divinity?
S: Kindness.
G: I SHALL SPELL DEATH TO YOU!
S: Sure.

God casts death upon Swidhe, who's forever burnt with anguish in hell.

Again God comes.

G: Swidhe, repent.
S: No.
G: Then suffer.
S: Yes.

In hell with demons, Satan comes.

Satan: Hello Swidhe.
Sw: Hello Satan.
Sa: How are you?
Sw: Not bad.
Sa: Evil or good?
Sw: Good.
Sa: Hell or heaven?
Sw: Heaven.
Sa: Earth or heaven?
Sw: Earth.
Sa: Hell or Earth?
Sw: Earth.
Sa: I shall turn you into demon.

Before Satan does, Swidhe halts him, 'Wait. Let's cooperate for the good.'

Silence falls.

'Yeah? How so?'

Swidhe explains, 'We all be good. Let's toil with hearts and hands, and change this hell into Earth. Let's make all demons good humans.'

Satan frowns but likes the idea.

The end.
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23-12-2017, 05:22 AM
RE: Enlightenment with the God
This is fucked up right here. Must be the start of the annual Xmas loony tunes. Drinking Beverage
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23-12-2017, 05:31 AM
RE: Enlightenment with the God
Okay, so somebody got into the Xmas eggnog a bit early and spiked it with whiskey, before going on a Paradise Lost bender? Consider

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23-12-2017, 05:37 AM
RE: Enlightenment with the God
(23-12-2017 05:31 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Okay, so somebody got into the Xmas eggnog a bit early and spiked it with whiskey, before going on a Paradise Lost bender? Consider

I don't care if I'm into abyss. I just get on with things wherever.
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23-12-2017, 05:58 AM
RE: Enlightenment with the God
Right, so whiskey it is then.

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23-12-2017, 05:59 AM (This post was last modified: 23-12-2017 06:07 AM by adey67.)
RE: Enlightenment with the God
(23-12-2017 05:31 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Okay, so somebody got into the Xmas eggnog a bit early and spiked it with whiskey, before going on a Paradise Lost bender? Consider

Or, his depo thorazine injection is wearing off.
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23-12-2017, 12:00 PM
RE: Enlightenment with the God
Both Stinker and theophilus have made a comeback for the holiday season. I'm shocked. Drinking Beverage

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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23-12-2017, 12:14 PM (This post was last modified: 23-12-2017 12:39 PM by adey67.)
RE: Enlightenment with the God
(23-12-2017 12:00 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  Both Stinker and theophilus have made a comeback for the holiday season. I'm shocked. Drinking Beverage

Yup, who'd have thunk it never saw that one coming. Drinking Beverage Rolleyes Popcorn
Don't forget Pragmatix as well.
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23-12-2017, 12:23 PM
RE: Enlightenment with the God
God: Hello unsapien.
Me: Who are you?
God: I'm God.
Me: I see...can you hold on a sec?
God: Ok.

Me: *rings doctor*
Doctor: Hello?
Me: Hi Doc, I bashed my head on a kitchen cabinet last night (which actually did happen) and now I'm hearing a voice in my head claiming to be god can I come in for a check-up right away?
Doctor: Sure, I'll see you tomorrow.
Me: Thanks.

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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23-12-2017, 12:37 PM
RE: Enlightenment with the God
Peebothulul liked stinkers post, I'm calling on all members of TTA to be on the look out for this individual and report him to local law enforcement so he may be safely transferred to the nearest mental hospital. Wink Tongue
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