Estates and wills, tales of woe
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22-01-2015, 02:20 AM (This post was last modified: 22-01-2015 02:45 AM by Stevil.)
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
When my grandmother died, we all agreed that each of the grand children could pick one item to keep.
My cousins went for the stuff worth $$'s.
I went for an imperfect piece of pottery that my grandmother toiled over and made herself. I think it's priceless Smile
Where-as I can always make some money. Money is nothing special.

That was years ago. I have her pottery on my bedside cabinet, I bet my cousins don't keep the money (they got from selling her stuff) somewhere as a reminder of that sweet lady.
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22-01-2015, 03:35 AM
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
My mom had 10 sisters. Grandparents died, left a small duplex. No money. One of my aunts had been living with them and taking care of them, she never married and just stayed with them. Grandparents left her everything.

All the daughters were doing ok in life, nobody needed the house or money from it. My aunt had been paying the mortgage for decades.

The sisters split into two factions that didn't talk to each other for some 20 years.

WTF?

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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22-01-2015, 05:24 AM
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
My dad died nearly six years ago. I haven't spoken with my brother in almost five.

Shortly before dad died my brother went to dad's and got all his power and wood-working tools and guns. Took a trailer to haul it all back. Of course that's what was worth any money.

At one point when we (three siblings, spouses, dad's brother) were all at dad's house my brother walked in and announced that 'someone' must have stolen dad's watches and the pistol that wasn't removed earlier. He looked at my husband and me. Within minutes my sister showed my brother where the watches were and my uncle showed him that the pistol was right where dad said it was.

While going through some of dad's books, I was gathering the ones I had given him and came across an old book about golf. Uncle said he would like to have it, I gave it to him and brother promptly grabbed it from uncle's hand saying that it may be worth some money. Brother loaded what was 'his' and left to head back home.

My sister, husband, and I were left to clean everything else out of dad's house. Everything wasn't much but it was still a chore.

In the final accounting of dad's money brother refused to reimburse sister for flowers and things she paid for the memorial service. And I had to eventually provide cancelled checks/bank statements to prove I had paid for the obituaries published as brother didn't consider them final expenses. Blink

I have seen nothing else that will bring out a person's real nature quite like thinking they may get a dime out of someone's death.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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22-01-2015, 10:41 AM
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
(22-01-2015 05:24 AM)Anjele Wrote:  My dad died nearly six years ago. I haven't spoken with my brother in almost five.

Shortly before dad died my brother went to dad's and got all his power and wood-working tools and guns. Took a trailer to haul it all back. Of course that's what was worth any money.

At one point when we (three siblings, spouses, dad's brother) were all at dad's house my brother walked in and announced that 'someone' must have stolen dad's watches and the pistol that wasn't removed earlier. He looked at my husband and me. Within minutes my sister showed my brother where the watches were and my uncle showed him that the pistol was right where dad said it was.

While going through some of dad's books, I was gathering the ones I had given him and came across an old book about golf. Uncle said he would like to have it, I gave it to him and brother promptly grabbed it from uncle's hand saying that it may be worth some money. Brother loaded what was 'his' and left to head back home.

My sister, husband, and I were left to clean everything else out of dad's house. Everything wasn't much but it was still a chore.

In the final accounting of dad's money brother refused to reimburse sister for flowers and things she paid for the memorial service. And I had to eventually provide cancelled checks/bank statements to prove I had paid for the obituaries published as brother didn't consider them final expenses. Blink

I have seen nothing else that will bring out a person's real nature quite like thinking they may get a dime out of someone's death.

Siblings not speaking to each other seems to be a common theme here.

The day my dad died we knew he didn't have a will so it was decided among us four siblings that we'd divide everything up four ways.

My dad had almost $20,000 in his bank account and lived in a ramshackled old house. I had power of attorney at the time of his death. I thought it would be a simple thing to do, $20 thousand divided by four is $5 thousand each. You'd think this would be easy, right? But..noooooooooooooo!

My religious sister, who always disliked my agnostic husband, phoned up the police to have him arrested when he was at my fathers house after the death. "He's not family" she said. Ok. Ok, I'll grant that. But I noticed it wasn't her that drove through an epic blizzard to get to his house. (my two kids and I had the flu at the time). I also noticed that in the 15 years my dad lived there she went to visit him 5 or 6 times. I took notice of her inability to babysit my kids but twice in the 12 or so years we lived near her and the distance she kept from me and my kids. Family? She's suddenly concerned about family? I don't think so.

Unless there was money involved she kept people at arms length. Once money came into the picture she was front and center and if that money wasn't coming her way she shut the person down. Her own son she hasn't spoken to for a good 10 years and that involved money too. I should have taken notice of her past family relationships and her relationship with money and foreseen all this, but I was naive.

A month after my dad's death she sends me an email with all kinds of blatant, classical, psychological projection in it. She hasn't spoken to me since and I doubt she ever will.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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22-01-2015, 11:26 AM (This post was last modified: 22-01-2015 02:20 PM by Full Circle.)
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
(22-01-2015 05:24 AM)Anjele Wrote:  I have seen nothing else that will bring out a person's real nature quite like thinking they may get a dime out of someone's death.

You ain’t kidding sister!

My parents have made me executor of their will, I am the oldest of four brothers. I am also the most frugal and in my opinion the most particular about fairness and thus following the final wishes of our parents.

My three brothers work together in the medical field, one is a surgeon and employs the other two who are RN/MSN/ARNP/surgical nurse/office manager. None of the three seem capable of keeping a cent in their pockets, live high on the hog and are always asking our parents for “loans”. WTF

Mind you my parents live off of the income from their investments plus SS. So when they borrow and not pay back as per their agreement they are in essence stressing our parents financially. Mom and dad, especially mom, can’t say no to any of them and when they (mom and dad) have asked me what I think in regards to additional monetary help I have always counseled them to first insist that they (my brothers) must first cut back on their lifestyle before loaning them any more money. I find it so disrespectful and egotistical that they won’t sell their second home or boat or do without the fancy sportscars or the kept women on the side before asking for a hand out. Censored

My parents have helped them out over the years to the tune of a shit-load of money, much of it has yet to be repaid. We all see where this is going, the day the will has to executed my very well be the last time any of them speak to me.

The four of us are so different on our approach to life that I sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t adopted. Huh

End of rant for now, to be continued.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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22-01-2015, 11:35 AM
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
(22-01-2015 12:08 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(21-01-2015 11:03 PM)DeadChannel Wrote:  When my Grandma died, she left a broken television from the seventies. The tv had a "lifetime guarantee". My aunt, who happens to be batshit insane for various reasons, wanted to try and get a free new one from the company.

I've got a story...

In 1963 my husband's aunt bought a washing machine at Sears. At the time they said if she paid $20 bucks a year they would fix it for free or replace it.

I'm not shitting you in 2014 she got a new washer because Sears finally gave up trying to fix her old one.

She'd been paying $20 bucks a year for 51 years.

I was one of those guys that would call you during supper time to try and sell you Sears Maintenance Agreements, we made a commission on sales. Hated the job, I felt we were ripping off the clients. Some of the MA were hundreds of dollars a year.

Sometimes we would punk each other and make believe we were calling to buy MAs. Then we would list 5 big appliances (ref, W/D, DW, oven) and you could see the guy across the room salivating at the thought of the huge commission check.

They would eventually catch on when I started throwing in snow blower, hedge trimmer, beard trimmer, knife sharpener Big Grin

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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22-01-2015, 01:52 PM
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
(22-01-2015 11:26 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(22-01-2015 05:24 AM)Anjele Wrote:  I have seen nothing else that will bring out a person's real nature quite like thinking they may get a dime out of someone's death.

You ain’t kidding sister!

My parents have made me executor of their will, I am the oldest of four brothers. I am also the most frugal and in my opinion the most particular about fairness and thus following the final wishes of our parents.

My three brothers work together in the medical field, one is a surgeon and employs the other two who are RN/MSN/ARNP/surgical nurse/office manager. None of the three seem capable of keeping a cent in their pockets, live high on the hog and are always asking our parents for “loans”. WTF

Mind you my parents live off of the income their investments plus SS. So when they borrow and not pay back as per their agreement they are in essence stressing our parents financially. Mom and dad, especially mom, can’t say no to any of them and when they (mom and dad) have asked me what I think in regards to additional monetary help I have always counseled them to first insist that they (my brothers) must first cut back on their lifestyle before loaning them any more money. I find it so disrespectful and egotistical that they won’t sell their second home or boat or do without the fancy sportscars or the kept women on the side before asking for a hand out. Censored

My parents have helped them out over the years to the tune of a shit-load of money, much of it has yet to be repaid. We all see where this is going, the day the will has to executed my very well be the last time any of them speak to me.

The four of us are so different on our approach to life that I sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t adopted. Huh

End of rant for now, to be continued.

Recommend to your parents that they get a signed note from each child for the amount of money they have "loaned" them. At settlement of their estates call the loans from your siblings as executor of the estate. Make them pay the amount due or offset the amounts against their share of the estate. You can do this as executor of their estates.

I understand that your parents may not want to get signed notes from their kids. In actuality, if this isn't done, your parents are in effect depleting their estate of which you are an ultimate beneficiary. I don't know if you care about the money but it isn't fair to you.

Money shit among family members is always troubling. Been there, er, am there.
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22-01-2015, 02:19 PM
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
(22-01-2015 01:52 PM)JakSiemasz Wrote:  
(22-01-2015 11:26 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  You ain’t kidding sister!

My parents have made me executor of their will, I am the oldest of four brothers. I am also the most frugal and in my opinion the most particular about fairness and thus following the final wishes of our parents.

My three brothers work together in the medical field, one is a surgeon and employs the other two who are RN/MSN/ARNP/surgical nurse/office manager. None of the three seem capable of keeping a cent in their pockets, live high on the hog and are always asking our parents for “loans”. WTF

Mind you my parents live off of the income their investments plus SS. So when they borrow and not pay back as per their agreement they are in essence stressing our parents financially. Mom and dad, especially mom, can’t say no to any of them and when they (mom and dad) have asked me what I think in regards to additional monetary help I have always counseled them to first insist that they (my brothers) must first cut back on their lifestyle before loaning them any more money. I find it so disrespectful and egotistical that they won’t sell their second home or boat or do without the fancy sportscars or the kept women on the side before asking for a hand out. Censored

My parents have helped them out over the years to the tune of a shit-load of money, much of it has yet to be repaid. We all see where this is going, the day the will has to executed my very well be the last time any of them speak to me.

The four of us are so different on our approach to life that I sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t adopted. Huh

End of rant for now, to be continued.

Recommend to your parents that they get a signed note from each child for the amount of money they have "loaned" them. At settlement of their estates call the loans from your siblings as executor of the estate. Make them pay the amount due or offset the amounts against their share of the estate. You can do this as executor of their estates.

I understand that your parents may not want to get signed notes from their kids. In actuality, if this isn't done, your parents are in effect depleting their estate of which you are an ultimate beneficiary. I don't know if you care about the money but it isn't fair to you.

Money shit among family members is always troubling. Been there, er, am there.

Great advice and my parents claim they have said notes or will have them Dodgy I haven’t seen them and I can’t press too hard, not my money.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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22-01-2015, 02:20 PM
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
(21-01-2015 10:51 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  I know a guy at the hospital. His ex-wife's boyfriend (the ex and her new boyfriend lived together) murdered her. Wrapped up her body, and put it in the garage. Eventually the police found her, and arrested him. While everyone was at the funeral, the murderer's family cleaned out the house including taking everything of hers. I've always thought that was the lowest of the low things I'd ever heard, or could possibly imagine.

I've heard of a similar story. Around thirty years ago, my dad's cousin is going though a divorce. His dad dies (unrelated), and while he is at the funeral, she shows up and cleans him out. I agree on the lowest of low sentiment.

What's amazing is how he didn't retaliate. I've heard some impressive stories of extreme vigilantism on his part in the past for lesser crimes. Perhaps it was the grief, or her being a woman, or her being his ex (making him the #1 suspect). Knowing him, it might be the last one.
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22-01-2015, 02:46 PM
RE: Estates and wills, tales of woe
My father died when I was young. But his father my grandfather died when I was in my Twenties. My aunt and my step grandmother took everything. I have not received anything. They act like my father never existed. It's pathetic. Last time I saw my aunt her home was in atrocious condition and she was selling everything she could to get by just ten years later.. I still can't figure out how they squandered his money. That man had hundreds of thousands. He also had a hundred thousand dollar gun collection. I got three firearms. The funny thing is she considers herself a devout Christian.
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