Eternal Closet
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19-06-2016, 03:22 AM
RE: Eternal Closet
(18-06-2016 11:57 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Well, don't dismiss a guy as a potential partner just because he's a Christian; that would make you as bigoted as the worst of them. If he is willing to love you exactly as you are, and to accept that religion is a decision each person must make on their own without coercion or judgment, and is scientifically literate, then I can't see why it'd ever come between you. Just because so many of them don't fit into that category doesn't mean they all do.

Sure, it might work, but in my opinion you already start with a major disagreement on something like of important to both. I don't think it should be underestimated.

But I disagree that it makes her bigoted. Nurse is not acting solely on prejudice, she has the experience that it can ruin a relationship for good. But even if she didn't, it'd still be reasonable for her to make this choice. I mean, I'm the same, I'm also more willing to date and marry an atheist, because that means more compatibility.

Especially with children, this can become a major issue. And it also couldn't, I'll give you that, but despite what you could bring up about this or any other man that could be positive or make him seem perfect, why the risk?

There are real reasons, based on experience or not, that make this decision an informed one and not a bigoted one.

孤独 - The Out Crowd
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19-06-2016, 04:52 AM
RE: Eternal Closet
There is also a possibility that some guys who you believe to be religious are in fact also closeted atheists like you.
For example, how sure are you that the guy from your first post is actually a Christian?

In some ways it would be easier to date a closeted atheist then an outspoken one. You avoid the heat from family , friends....for dating a atheist but you still get someone who you can be yourself with.

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19-06-2016, 05:22 AM
RE: Eternal Closet
Not feeling comfortable with the thought of spending the rest of your life paired up with someone over something they value is not bigotry. No one is entitled to your deepest, most intimate love Sleepy
"Sigh, I guess I'll just settle for..." should be nowhere near the forefront of your mind when you're committing to a long-term relationship.

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19-06-2016, 08:04 AM
RE: Eternal Closet
(19-06-2016 05:22 AM)cactus Wrote:  Not feeling comfortable with the thought of spending the rest of your life paired up with someone over something they value is not bigotry. No one is entitled to your deepest, most intimate love Sleepy
"Sigh, I guess I'll just settle for..." should be nowhere near the forefront of your mind when you're committing to a long-term relationship.

Exactly. Besides, that attitude is also very unfair on the other person who deserves someone who really likes them and is into them.

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19-06-2016, 08:32 AM
RE: Eternal Closet
(19-06-2016 04:52 AM)Slowminded Wrote:  There is also a possibility that some guys who you believe to be religious are in fact also closeted atheists like you.
For example, how sure are you that the guy from your first post is actually a Christian?

In some ways it would be easier to date a closeted atheist then an outspoken one. You avoid the heat from family , friends....for dating a atheist but you still get someone who you can be yourself with.

This ^^^^ is an excellent point!

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19-06-2016, 09:03 AM
RE: Eternal Closet
(18-06-2016 11:57 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Well, don't dismiss a guy as a potential partner just because he's a Christian; that would make you as bigoted as the worst of them. If he is willing to love you exactly as you are, and to accept that religion is a decision each person must make on their own without coercion or judgment, and is scientifically literate, then I can't see why it'd ever come between you. Just because so many of them don't fit into that category doesn't mean they all do.

I'd say you should kick them to the curb the instant they show any signs of fundamentalist, anti-science, or exclusionist thinking.

On the other hand, there are lots of nice atheist guys out there. I'd volunteer if I wasn't taken, ya cutie! Smile

When I first became an atheist and left Christianity, I thought there is no freakin' way I would *ever* date a Christian/other religious person again. Of course, this was being said based on my own experiences with my particular sects of Christianity and Catholicism. I really did not have vast exposure to other forms of theists. My world pretty much consisted of hardcore, Bible thumping, self-righteous, it's God's way or the highway, praying to dead saints and on rosaries, "true" believers.

Since coming to TTA I have met a lot of rational and educated theists and have since changed my mind about the idea of dating a religious person if I was still single. So yeah, I would date a single version of KC, a male version of Aliza, a jason_delisle, a male version of Deidre, etc. Wink

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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19-06-2016, 09:08 AM
RE: Eternal Closet
(19-06-2016 09:03 AM)jennybee Wrote:  So yeah, I would date a single version of KC, a male version of Aliza, a jason_delisle, a male version of Deidre, etc. Wink
Only one of those names didn't have an extra hypothetical qualifier next to it. Just sayin' Crickets

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19-06-2016, 10:00 AM
RE: Eternal Closet
(19-06-2016 09:08 AM)cactus Wrote:  
(19-06-2016 09:03 AM)jennybee Wrote:  So yeah, I would date a single version of KC, a male version of Aliza, a jason_delisle, a male version of Deidre, etc. Wink
Only one of those names didn't have an extra hypothetical qualifier next to it. Just sayin' Crickets

I don't know what you're talking about Angel Tongue

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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20-06-2016, 04:28 PM
RE: Eternal Closet
(18-06-2016 09:14 PM)Nurse Wrote:  I think that's been my mistake in the past. I have settled because I was lonely. It helps to be aware of that - hard to fix it if you don't understand the problem.

I don't know you very well but I have a hard time imagining you as a lonely person. Even with all that's happening you seem far too vibrant for that.

But don't settle for any reason.

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20-06-2016, 07:06 PM
RE: Eternal Closet
(19-06-2016 09:03 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(18-06-2016 11:57 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Well, don't dismiss a guy as a potential partner just because he's a Christian; that would make you as bigoted as the worst of them. If he is willing to love you exactly as you are, and to accept that religion is a decision each person must make on their own without coercion or judgment, and is scientifically literate, then I can't see why it'd ever come between you. Just because so many of them don't fit into that category doesn't mean they all do.

I'd say you should kick them to the curb the instant they show any signs of fundamentalist, anti-science, or exclusionist thinking.

On the other hand, there are lots of nice atheist guys out there. I'd volunteer if I wasn't taken, ya cutie! Smile

When I first became an atheist and left Christianity, I thought there is no freakin' way I would *ever* date a Christian/other religious person again. Of course, this was being said based on my own experiences with my particular sects of Christianity and Catholicism. I really did not have vast exposure to other forms of theists. My world pretty much consisted of hardcore, Bible thumping, self-righteous, it's God's way or the highway, praying to dead saints and on rosaries, "true" believers.

Since coming to TTA I have met a lot of rational and educated theists and have since changed my mind about the idea of dating a religious person if I was still single. So yeah, I would date a single version of KC, a male version of Aliza, a jason_delisle, a male version of Deidre, etc. Wink

Oh! I'm not masculine enough for you?! I see how it is. Weeping

I'll have you to know that my beau rather likes my femininity! Tongue
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