Ex Catholic
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28-10-2015, 12:39 PM (This post was last modified: 28-10-2015 01:07 PM by AWeir1978.)
Ex Catholic
I found The Thinking Atheist on YouTube about two weeks ago and have been addicted to it ever since. I was born and raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school for thirteen years and prayed with all of my heart several times a day. I truly was a devout and deep believer. I would give up what little money I earned to the church and worked hard to be a good Catholic girl.

When I was 19 I started a relationship with a young guy that didn't quite understand my devotion to my faith. Over the course of the next four years I suffered unimaginable abuse at his hand, often including rape. When I was 21 I found myself pregnant and to be honest, I am still not sure if my son was conceived by rape or not. So I was at a crossroads. Do I marry this abusive rapist or do I face single parenthood? So, I went to the one place I always had before, church. I went to speak to the priest and was told several things but the one that still sticks in my head is "Your child being born out of wedlock is a horrendous sin, you must marry his father." Really? So my life means absolutely nothing. I am to marry an abusive rapist and jeopardize my own health so that my child will be accepted by god? What? I was absolutely floored and confused by this. I started to reflect upon my beliefs and I'm proud to say fifteen years later, the best move I ever made was deciding that my life was worth much more.

This left me at a point in my life where I was seeking the god that had always been a comfort to me when I was younger and I just wasn't finding him. So I left for the Vatican. My thought was if I am going to find god anywhere it's going to be there. Nothing could be further from the truth. It was in the holy city itself that I became a full atheist. It was there that I became so completely and entirely devoted to myself, my life, and my child's life that there was simply nowhere for god to be anymore.

My views have only been reinforced a thousand times throughout my life but no more than when my son befriended a young girl in kindergarten. This sweet, beautiful, wonderful little girl suffered from a debilitating disease that basically caused her body to reject her own organs. For the ten years she was in our life she suffered unimaginable pain. The most profound moment for me was when she was over our house and started to scream in excruciating pain. Her body had started to attack her nervous system and she felt like her body was on fire. Her family, as much as I respect what they went through, was deeply religious. They sat there and watched their child suffer so much pain and never ever doubted that god exists. It floored me. It still floors me. She passed away earlier this year after she started refusing her medications. She couldn't take the pain anymore. She chose to die at the age of 15 and they thanked god for their time with her. They thanked him. How? How is that at all possible? How can you thank a supposedly all knowing benevolent god that allowed your child to suffer unimaginable pain for fifteen years? How can you thank him? This situation only strengthened my view. If a god existed at all, there is zero excuse for his complete lack of action in this young girl's life and I have no time for such a god in my world.

I have raised my child without a single message of a god. For fifteen years I have raised him with a complete hands off attitude towards his faith. He can choose as he sees fit but won't have a single thing thrust upon him from me. Much to my family's confusion it was a conscience choice to not on not take my child to church but to allow him to go with others if he asked. It was completely confusing to them that when my child came to me at eight and said "I don't think a god could exist" I wasn't the least bit upset and told him that he didn't have to believe anything. It is his choice. In short, I have been raising my child as a truth seeker without realizing I was doing so. It was your show that made me realize I was doing something right here. Thank you. If my child can become a man half as intelligent as yourself and those that are on your show, I'm a happy mother. It's nice to see that there's a community out here of like minded people. That is truly something I didn't realize.
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28-10-2015, 12:54 PM (This post was last modified: 28-10-2015 01:00 PM by DLJ.)
RE: Ex Catholic
Welcome to TTA.

There are some ex-catholics here who've been on a similar journey.

I wonder how anyone can be born as a devout anything ... but I get what you meant.

Reading your story ... it's hard to contain one's anger. Glad you made it through.

Good to have you here.

Smile

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28-10-2015, 12:58 PM
RE: Ex Catholic
Welcome!

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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28-10-2015, 01:00 PM (This post was last modified: 28-10-2015 01:07 PM by AWeir1978.)
RE: Ex Catholic
Thanks. I edited that. It was worded really weird. I truly did believe with all of my heart that god existed. It's interesting how the human brain works.
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28-10-2015, 01:06 PM
RE: Ex Catholic
(28-10-2015 01:00 PM)AWeir1978 Wrote:  Thanks. I don't think I was born devout but I certainly think I wasn't given another choice. I truly did believe with all of my heart that god existed. It's interesting how the human brain works.

Indeed. Very true.

btw, Seth doesn't come to the forum very often (only when we really misbehave) so you might want to sent him an email if you want to express your gratitude.

Smile

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28-10-2015, 01:09 PM
RE: Ex Catholic
(28-10-2015 01:06 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(28-10-2015 01:00 PM)AWeir1978 Wrote:  Thanks. I don't think I was born devout but I certainly think I wasn't given another choice. I truly did believe with all of my heart that god existed. It's interesting how the human brain works.

Indeed. Very true.

btw, Seth doesn't come to the forum very often (only when we really misbehave) so you might want to sent him an email if you want to express your gratitude.

Smile

Oh okay. That's good to know.
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28-10-2015, 01:11 PM
RE: Ex Catholic
Welcome Hug
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28-10-2015, 01:14 PM
RE: Ex Catholic
(28-10-2015 01:11 PM)skyking Wrote:  Welcome Hug

Thanks so much. Clap
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28-10-2015, 01:16 PM
RE: Ex Catholic
Welcome.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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28-10-2015, 01:17 PM
RE: Ex Catholic
(28-10-2015 01:16 PM)Szuchow Wrote:  Welcome.

Thanks. It really is great to find this place
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