Excuses to Drink
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15-01-2014, 08:10 AM
Excuses to Drink
So, I'm trying to quit drinking. I need to. I've realized that I'm becoming dependent on it and it's hurting my health in very real ways.

During my time here, I've noticed in passing that some of you have struggled with alcoholism in the past. I was wondering if I could get some insight. What are some of the excuses you gave yourselves to take another sip, and why are they complete bullshit?

Thus far, I've found myself thinking the following:

- "You're young. It'll be years before your liver craps out or your infamous abs turn to a beer-belly. The kidney pain? No problem; drink more water, you'll be fine."

- "What's another beer to kill the pain of X? Just keep drinking until you're over it. It shouldn't be more than a few weeks. Then you can stop spending money on beer and get back to life as usual."

- "So what if you're dependent? Dad went 49 years without quitting; he functioned just fine. Sure, he's fat and his skin is wrinkly and aged, but you can prevent that with your workouts and skin-care. The point is that he functioned just fine; you can too. Hell, it's been demonstrated that you're more likable when you're drunk, too. So, bonus!"

- "Just one more. Just one more and then you're done. *After one more* Ok, just ONE MORE. Then you're done. For real this time."

- "Who fucking cares; just drink the thing. Life is short and you're gonna die anyway. Drink a beer and write a book. Simple as that."


All of these are bullshit for obvious reasons. But they're constantly popping up in my mind and making it incredibly difficult to overcome this shit. When I'm out on a midnight drive to "clear my head" and find myself unable to focus on the beauty of the night and the sound of the music - no matter how loud - because all I can do is sweat and tremble and grip the steering wheel with an iron fist, wanting nothing more than to feel the cold, tingly brew running down my throat, these thoughts pound all corners of my cortexes with the frequency and tenacity of mortar shells slamming into an enemy fortress. How do I silence them? Or, more realistically, how do I ignore them? Have you had similar thoughts? How did you talk yourselves out of succumbing to their influence?

And as a secondary question, should I let go of my seemingly-inherent hope of one day being able to drink socially again? I know that probably depends on the person, but have you found that to be a plausible prospect in your life? Or, for some, is alcohol off limits PERIOD?

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
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15-01-2014, 08:47 AM
RE: Excuses to Drink
For me, I had to have a change of scenery. Start fresh. I moved away from home, ditched the old familiar places, the no where town with no where friends.

I would advise as someone else did in the other thread, that since you drink heavily, that you do need to cut back and not try going cold turkey. There are medical reasons that really can put you in the hospital with DT's (seizures). Make a schedule, it will be easier and you won't be white-knuckling.

Find a friend- in AA they call it a sponsor. But find someone that can you can call when you are on the edge that can help you calm down when you need it. Post here - even with members from all over the world, someone is sure to be online.

As for being a social drinker again someday- it all comes down to control. I don't think a person has to stay away from it forever but for many they do because they cannot control themselves. Many alcoholics find it harder to try to manage having just 1-2 drinks vs. just saying no altogether.

For me- it was binge drinking. I didn't drink daily, but when I did I went completely overboard. It was easier to walk away if I didn't have that first one. If I never had #1 then I didn't have to worry about #6.


It took moving away, starting over, walking away from most everyone I knew and a desire to do better to make it happen. After 10 years or so, its now manageable. I can have a 12 pack in my fridge and have it last a month.




And, I'm going to throw this out there, I am hoping you will think it over the next few days. Your language in your posts is very dramatic. Your emotions fly from extreme to extreme. It doesn't seem like there is ever a middle ground….whether you are talking about love, pain, heartbreak or a craving. Try controlling your thoughts- when you find yourself thinking on the extreme…..try correcting yourself. Are you really at the extreme? And if this is the extreme- where is the middle ground for this emotion? What can I do to bring myself to the middle and not to the opposite extreme? IMO- there is always someone who has it worse than me, or better than me. Rarely am I the example of the extreme. Our thoughts become our actions. Find a way to balance your actions, your emotions and your thoughts.

I am happy to hear you are still doing the hard work to move forward. keep it up and keep posting. you got lots of friends here that care about you.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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15-01-2014, 09:01 AM
RE: Excuses to Drink
Miso,
I am sure you already know that making excuses is the typical routine of any junkie, addict, alcoholic, etc. Just one more, that won't hurt - what's one more? Geez, I feel bad this morning, if I hadn't had that last drink, last line, last hit, last pill I would feel better. I am going to quit this right after my birthday celebration, my friend's wedding, the fourth of July...anyone that has either dealt with a substance issue is familiar with all those rationalizations. My daughter thought that as long as she wasn't spending her legitimate money, only the profits of her dealing, that she didn't have a problem...yeah, well, that didn't turn out so well but that was her rationalization. My first husband was forced, legally, to stop but then decided why not...it's Christmas, my friend is home from out of state, they won't test me over the holidays, this will be my last big blowout and I am going to do it up big...and he did, till he wrecked his car on the way to his dealer and died.

As long as you are still coming up with excuses you haven't made up your mind to quit. Getting help is a great idea but it really has to start with you. The more excuses you have to keep going, the more you are at a point where you need to get you head right and get things under control. You have to make a decision and then go with it.

A lot of people here care about you, please do a real assessment on what you are willing to do to really stop. No one can do it for you.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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15-01-2014, 09:14 AM
RE: Excuses to Drink
Yup, those are all bullshit. I can give you some more if you want to go on fooling yourself. Big Grin

You sound like an alcoholic to me. If so, trying to be a social drinker again (controlling your drinking) is very painful and likely doomed to failure.

Call your doctor and get checked in to treatment. It is safest to have medical attention to dry out. They will likely give you Librium or something similar for a few days to prevent the dangerous effects of withdrawal.

You can PM me if you want to talk about this.

I have been sober for nearly 23 years. Drinking Beverage

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15-01-2014, 09:15 AM
RE: Excuses to Drink
(15-01-2014 08:10 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  How do I silence them? Or, more realistically, how do I ignore them? Have you had similar thoughts? How did you talk yourselves out of succumbing to their influence?



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15-01-2014, 09:20 AM
RE: Excuses to Drink

LMAO! Thumbsup


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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15-01-2014, 09:37 AM
RE: Excuses to Drink
Its not just in your head though dude with regards to excuses. Your body is probably dependent upon alcohol now and there is nothing wrong with approaching your doctor and seeking some professional help.

Ask yourself why you drink. If your drinking for any reason then addressing those issues will also help.

You have a very good talent with writing. You should write instead of drinking.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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15-01-2014, 05:13 PM
RE: Excuses to Drink
Ah yes, the excuses, I know then well.. "I had a shitty day today, I need some beers" "it was such a fantastic day, let's celebrate with some beers" "ugh, there's nothing to do tonight, let's get some beers" " oooo we've got a great movie tonight, let's get some beers" "we didn't drink last night, or last Wednesday, we're cutting back, see?"

It took severe pain in my pancreas, a ridiculous amount of weight gain, stern words from a doctor, and kicking my depression to get me to stop. The biggest thing for me was, realizing the excuses I was making, and being FIRM when I heard them come up in my own mind, or tumble out of my husband's mouth. That and realizing it was literally killing me, that I could never move on with my life, or have the things I want until I got the addiction taken care of.

I kept repeating a mantra in my head, "all I have to do is not leave this house, all I have to do is tell my husband no if he asks to get beer, just say no today, worry about tomorrow, tomorrow"

Now for me, I was having about & beers pretty much every night, for... Damn a long time. I quit cold turkey for a month or two -BUT, I knew that I'd been a social drinker before, and I knew I wanted to try for that again. Since July, it's been a success for me. (And I've lost almost ALL the weight! Big Grin)I never drink more than one or two times per month, or have more than one or two drinks when I do. and it is a social situation when I do (other than one or two instances since. New Years was spent at home for example). This is only six months of success though, so I watch myself. Only one instance of drinking way too much at a friends birthday party recently.

I would bet that for most alcoholics, socially drinking is never going to happen. I may find down the road it doesn't work for me either. If you are able to quit, and ever see yourself slipping again, cut it out for good, forever! That's my plan.

Pm me if you ever need anything, or skype: smercury44 Hug
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15-01-2014, 05:18 PM (This post was last modified: 15-01-2014 06:36 PM by The Germans are coming.)
RE: Excuses to Drink
*snip

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15-01-2014, 05:57 PM
RE: Excuses to Drink
Take Chas up on his offer.

Find a sober friend and ask for help.

Walk into a meeting and sit down. They'll handle the rest. It's 7 o'clock on the east coast, you can find a meeting right now. Give it a try.

You're in a quitter's mind set right now, so hold onto that and quit. Then stay quit! That's the hard part.

I'm not sure how many years I've been sober, I don't go to meetings and I didn't make note of the last time I drank, but it has been a few years and sometimes it still calls to me with the same words it calls to you.

Pour em out into the sink then find a partner/sponsor/friend to help you.
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