Existential Crisis
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14-04-2017, 01:41 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
Sorry for everything going on in your life. I will reaffirm what others have already said, you will always have friends here including me to help through this difficult time. From one guy with a dog avatar to another.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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14-04-2017, 01:59 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
(14-04-2017 12:50 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  --- I feel I would have come to accept atheism as my belief regardless if I was a part of TTA or not because of the events and questioning that led me to this. ---

Might want to take a deep breath there, Kingsy.

As you well know, there is a vast difference between the following two statements:
"I have no faith there is a god."
"There is no god."

If I can ask, Kingsy ... which do you feel most comfortable with at this moment? Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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14-04-2017, 02:00 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
OK, my skepticism is on the fritz here. But you would really come across as a douche if you are presenting all the personal tragedies and challenges and using them to trick us.

You are not a douche, so I'm thinking this is genuine this time (holds breath).

As great as it is that you are questioning long held beliefs, "answering questions is good but questioning answers is even better". It is awful what you are going through.

I'm not entirely sure about your reasoning though. As far as I know, and I don't know much, having never read the bible nor studied it, but from what I gather the biblical god has often been a momentous douche.

Drowning babies and such in the great flood, destroying a town because some people were gay, being downright nasty to Job as an unnecessary test for his obedience.

I guess your situation could in some ways be reminiscent of the Job saga.
A dude that is devoted to his god, going through some momentously horrific situations. Why is the god testing him, why is the god not rewarding him for his loyalty?

Of course theologically speaking the answers always seem to explain why it appears that there is no god at all. Their explanations are always that god is there, loving you and worthy of worship even though there is nothing tangible to suggest this is true. Life may be showing you the direct opposite.

My skepticism is that the story is meant to keep those going through shitty times from doubting their "loving" god. Stop them from questioning their beliefs.

As a parent I encourage the questioning of beliefs. I want a school that teaches my kids to question what they are taught. I am highly opposed to anyone that promotes the idea of not questioning what they are told.

Personally I think your faltering god belief is a minor thing. Your real life trials, those trials of loved ones around you are the real thing, those are what needs attention. Focus your energy on sorting yourself out, job, accommodation, supporting loved ones etc. Don't worry about whether then are disappointed by you losing faith. Do something real and tangible for them. Help them in things that are real.
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14-04-2017, 02:16 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
Atheism is just a more mature relationship with God. Smile

#sigh
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14-04-2017, 02:19 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
Hug

An atheist prophet and an atheist elect. Times, they are a changin.'

living word
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14-04-2017, 02:23 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
(14-04-2017 02:19 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Hug

An atheist prophet and an atheist elect. Times, they are a changin.'

It was preordained..

#sigh
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14-04-2017, 02:58 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
Hug Sorry things are so awful in life right now KC. I know I've said some not nice things about Calvinism in my time on here, but Calvinist, atheist, or whatever one may end up, you've got my respect.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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14-04-2017, 03:02 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
Hug I hope you're okay KC.

It's not that bad being an atheist. It's really heavy to accept at first but it gets better, promise.
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14-04-2017, 03:42 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
(14-04-2017 12:50 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  Where do I even begin?

The last couple of years have been... well... tough, to say the least.

As many of you know, I struggled with an opiate addiction for years. Last year, I lost my job (still unemployed) indirectly because of it and nearly offed myself. I did get help, and I've been clean for 13 months. More of that in a sec.

Also, many of you know, my dad has a terminal auto-immume disease which has destroyed his quality of life and has left him in habitual pain; likewise, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 2 years back. Thankfully, she is still in remission. My brother, a former pastor, has been shunned from churches because of his "liberal" Christian beliefs. Last August, I lost my home and all of our possessions from a flood. This has caused my family major strife as we continue to live as vagabonds until our home is rebuilt.

All of this has caused me to take a serious look at religion and God in general.

Recently, I've been faced with some devastating news which I don't feel comfortable sharing, and it too has caused me to question things.

My real questioning began last year in rehab. That's not to say that I haven't questioned my beliefs before... I've put them through the wringer... but this time, I really took a hard look at what my life had become, where it was going and how God could continue to allow all of this.

Wow. First, very sorry for all you've been through and are still going through. If there is truly knowledge that is only gained through suffering, you are now qualified.

Stop me if I'm being indelicate in my timing here but, surely you must have realized that not everyone who has suffered the way you are now had 'deserved it'. Could others who have had set backs truly just not be worthy of grace?


(14-04-2017 12:50 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  I was at an impasse of my life's figurative crossroads.

I know I've joked about it every April Fool's, but this is no joke. The first person I told was my brother and then my wife. Some more people found out, and now I've told my mom. She has been the most hurt by it, and it's hard to not feel guilty. Not that I feel guilty for denouncing Christianity, but it's the feeling guilty that I've hurt a person whom I care about and has done an immeasurable amount for me. QC has struggled with it too, but she has come to terms with it. My brother says he completely understands my decision to adopt atheism.

I know I've been the token theist around here for along time, so it was rather hard typing this; however, I feel it's important to live my life, in all aspects, according to how and what I believe.

I suppose it's been a long journey to this, and I would be dishonest in saying that TTA helped me reach this decision. I feel I would have come to accept atheism as my belief regardless if I was a part of TTA or not because of the events and questioning that led me to this. But, TTA has been a great family to me and has given me numerous resources to aid me. For that, I'm truly thankful.

Not sure where I go from here... and I'm sorry to those I've disappointed. I'm just now learning to be true to myself. I hope I can continue to do so here even with such a huge paradigm shift.

Well if you're in recovery you really are losing your higher power at a most inopportune moment. To that end I wonder if you might be able to just demote god down a few rungs without actually pink slipping him. So if an omni kind of god isn't working for you any longer, why not try an on-board, personal god? You know, not the alpha or the boss of the universe, but someone with more seniority than you with some insight and peace to bestow. No big deal, supernatural thing, just the sort of thing one might find down in the mystery of whatever to heck we are anyhow. Sleep on it. If you still want to ditch your soul we can work out something in the morning.

“Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
Man got to tell himself he understand.”

― Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle
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14-04-2017, 03:46 PM
RE: Existential Crisis
Sorry you are going through hell, KC. But take comfort in the fact that it's the only hell there is and it's not eternal. And you don't have to stay there *all* the time, you can go on day leaves... until the day you leave it for good Yes

All the best to you, stay strong and take comfort in the knowledge that whatever horrible things are happening to you, they are not a punishment or a sign, or because you did something wrong. The Universe isn't going to save you, but it's not trying to hurt you either. It doesn't care and as long as you've got yourself and the ones you love, this is more than enough (and much much better than imaginary father figures, imho)

Hug

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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