Exodus 20:1-17 (mostly) translated into bumperstickers
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09-07-2013, 11:38 AM
Exodus 20:1-17 (mostly) translated into bumperstickers
What the 10 commandments Really Mean! Evil_monster

"[20:1] And God spake all these words, saying, [20:2] I am Jehovah thy God, who brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage."

God hates goyim owning Jewish slaves.

"[20:3] Thou shalt have no other gods before me."

God hates gods

"[20:4] Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any likeness [of any thing] that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the
water under the earth."

God hates photography, art, sculpture, movies, and TV

"[20:5] Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them, for I Jehovah thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, upon the third and upon the fourth generation of them that hate me,"

God hates all great-great-great grandchildren of men who didn't kiss His Ass

"[20:7] Thou shalt not take the name of Jehovah thy God in vain; for Jehovah will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain."

God hates spam prayers

"[20:8] Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. [20:9] Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work; [20:10] but the seventh day is a sabbath unto Jehovah
thy God: [in it] thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy man-servant, nor thy maid-servant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: [20:11] for in six days Jehovah made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore Jehovah blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it."  

God hates Sunday store openings

"[20:12] Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee."

God hates snarky kids

"[20:13] Thou shalt not kill."

God hates unauthorized killing

"[20:14] Thou shalt not commit adultery."

God hates unauthorized sex

"[20:15] Thou shalt not steal."

God hates unauthorized theft

"[20:16] Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."

God hates unauthorized lying

"[20:17] Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his man-servant, nor his maid-servant, nor his ox, nor his ass,
nor anything that is thy neighbor's. " 

God hates unauthorized coveteousness

Standard, American (2010-01-04). The Bible - The Holy Bible Formatted for Your eReader (Kindle Locations 2731-2750). . Kindle Edition.

"Heresy makes for progress" - Hypatia Bradlaugh Bonner
[1 Corinthians 13:11] When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. - The Bible King James Version. See? Even the Bible says "Put me down!" Big Grin
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