FML
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27-01-2013, 04:54 PM
RE: FML
I never understood "gambling" either. Either a game is "winnable" or it's not, and only statistics and study can prove that to oneself, and even then , the winners at for example poker and horses, have spent hours and hours, sometimes years, at disciplined study, with strict rules, etc.
But you're in school with a future. I say don't let a mill-stone around your neck drag you down, after all you've dealt with. If, at some future time, he proves he's cured, AFTER TREATMENT, you can get back together ... maybe.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein Certified Ancient Astronaut Theorist
I'm an agnostic. We cannot know if there really is a teapot orbiting the sun.
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27-01-2013, 10:05 PM
RE: FML
Thanks all. It is not a good situation. Unfortunately past behavior makes me wonder what is true and what is BS. I say give me a bill to pay and his response is that won't help. I am pretty sure he wants me to hand him cash but that's not going to happen and I told him that. Since telling g him to get a divorce lawyer his mood is greatly improved. His mother was a long time mental patient up till her death. I think his issues are way beyond past and present addictions. Son has about four more months till his car is paid off and he could move out with less stress. By then my semester will be done. In the meantime I will be looking at small houses to rent or apartments where I can have the dogs. Luckily my name is not on the mortgage.
At this point the idea of not being g with him any more is not a sad thing.
Sorry for the scrappy typing....am on my Kindle.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted, and some showed up along the way. - JF
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28-01-2013, 06:55 AM
RE: FML
If it's not just gambling, then it's an entirely different story.
Gambling is just someone getting stuck on seeking patterns in randomness. After a time of that, they usually do realize that random means random, but they start chasing their losses and figure the random event in their favor must be just around the corner and they can make up for losses. The plan is to walk away then. But when a win comes, it's usually not big enough to cover the losses, so it isn't THE win, so they keep on.
It's just faulty thinking, perhaps mixed with habit. Once people admit they need help, they are totally curable.
Before being treated, they are 100% untrustworthy. Just like any other addict, they will do and say anything to get their hands on money.
Without treatment they lose home and family and sometimes even end up killing themselves. It's all about admitting they need help.
But if the gambling isn't the actual issue in the marriage, and if the thought of not living with him makes you feel better, by all means move out.
Maybe that's when he will hit rock bottom and seek help - you just may be doing him a favor.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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