Fake articles about Will Smith's kids that make me want to punch myself in the face
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07-11-2014, 12:35 PM
Fake articles about Will Smith's kids that make me want to punch myself in the face
"LOS ANGELES – With the Smith family finally allowing their children an HBO subscription, Jaden and Willow Smith sat down and watched the first episode of Game of Thrones last week. Not twenty minutes into the episode, Will Smith’s son and daughter witnessed Jaime and Cersei Lannister engage in graphic incest. Seemingly spurred on by the images before them, Jaden and Willow Smith then tentatively tried sex with one another. Information of the illicit deed leaked to the public, which quickly recoiled with disgust. Jaden attempted to reckon with the troubling event in his new single: “It Isn’t Gross.” Here is a sampling of rap song’s second verse:

“Eating popcorn on the couch at home! Me and Willow just kickin’ it, watchin’ Game of Thrones! On the screen two blondies EFF! Brother and sister, but they don’t care, there ain't a ref! So I turn to Willow and I’m all like ‘I wanna do this, but is it right?’ Willow turned off the lights and pressed pause on the screen ‘Jaden, I’m having these feelings, but I don’t what they mean…’ All of a sudden it’s happening faster than I can blink. Oh damn, oh crap, what will the Fresh Prince think?” According to TRI’s resident psychoanalyst, Dr. K. West, “These incestual impulses may have been cultivated because of their acute social isolation. It may come as a shock to many, but the brother and sister have never been allowed to fraternize with anyone outside of the Smith Family.” When we asked Dr. West how he came upon such intimate information into the Smith family’s life behind-the-scenes, the doctor shrugged and said, “I heard that somewhere.” The Fresh Prince has refused to give a statement, although last night he instagrammed a picture of storm clouds with the caption “God gettin jiggy with it.” The meaning of this message has not yet been deciphered."

AND THEN THERE'S ALSO THIS ARTICLE ABOUT HOW JADEN WANTED TO GET HIS PENIS REMOVED.

“This is a decision I made on my own, but I hope this doesn’t affect my parents decision to assist me with this financially” Giggled Jaden when he revealed his eighteenth birthday plans. Will Smith son Jaden Smith 16, made the announcement that he would have his male member removed on his eighteenth birthday, because in his words “My p**is doesn’t define me”. “I’m not gay, I’m not straight, I’ll just be a penis-less boy name Jaden” Said Jaden Smith who claims the decision doesn’t make him more or less of a man than any of his male fans. Jaden’s only concern is the decision affecting his career as an actor “I don’t need a p**is to be the karate kid; What’s between my legs shouldn’t determine the length of my acting career”

SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME. WHY DO PEOPLE WRITE THESE THINGS? I THANK THEM THOUGH.
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07-11-2014, 12:41 PM
RE: Fake articles about Will Smith's kids that make me want to punch myself in the face
(07-11-2014 12:35 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  "LOS ANGELES – With the Smith family finally allowing their children an HBO subscription, Jaden and Willow Smith sat down and watched the first episode of Game of Thrones last week. Not twenty minutes into the episode, Will Smith’s son and daughter witnessed Jaime and Cersei Lannister engage in graphic incest. Seemingly spurred on by the images before them, Jaden and Willow Smith then tentatively tried sex with one another. Information of the illicit deed leaked to the public, which quickly recoiled with disgust. Jaden attempted to reckon with the troubling event in his new single: “It Isn’t Gross.” Here is a sampling of rap song’s second verse:

“Eating popcorn on the couch at home! Me and Willow just kickin’ it, watchin’ Game of Thrones! On the screen two blondies EFF! Brother and sister, but they don’t care, there ain't a ref! So I turn to Willow and I’m all like ‘I wanna do this, but is it right?’ Willow turned off the lights and pressed pause on the screen ‘Jaden, I’m having these feelings, but I don’t what they mean…’ All of a sudden it’s happening faster than I can blink. Oh damn, oh crap, what will the Fresh Prince think?” According to TRI’s resident psychoanalyst, Dr. K. West, “These incestual impulses may have been cultivated because of their acute social isolation. It may come as a shock to many, but the brother and sister have never been allowed to fraternize with anyone outside of the Smith Family.” When we asked Dr. West how he came upon such intimate information into the Smith family’s life behind-the-scenes, the doctor shrugged and said, “I heard that somewhere.” The Fresh Prince has refused to give a statement, although last night he instagrammed a picture of storm clouds with the caption “God gettin jiggy with it.” The meaning of this message has not yet been deciphered."

AND THEN THERE'S ALSO THIS ARTICLE ABOUT HOW JADEN WANTED TO GET HIS PENIS REMOVED.

“This is a decision I made on my own, but I hope this doesn’t affect my parents decision to assist me with this financially” Giggled Jaden when he revealed his eighteenth birthday plans. Will Smith son Jaden Smith 16, made the announcement that he would have his male member removed on his eighteenth birthday, because in his words “My p**is doesn’t define me”. “I’m not gay, I’m not straight, I’ll just be a penis-less boy name Jaden” Said Jaden Smith who claims the decision doesn’t make him more or less of a man than any of his male fans. Jaden’s only concern is the decision affecting his career as an actor “I don’t need a p**is to be the karate kid; What’s between my legs shouldn’t determine the length of my acting career”

SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME. WHY DO PEOPLE WRITE THESE THINGS? I THANK THEM THOUGH.

I read this in the voices of the actual characters, including Dr. Incest. The rap was glorious. I guess this video wasn't edited after all:



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"Don't answer that. A rhetorical question."
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07-11-2014, 03:37 PM
RE: Fake articles about Will Smith's kids that make me want to punch myself in the face
I never knew why the live of celebrities where important to us(well unless one is building a death ray)

[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOW_Ioi2wtuPa88FvBmnBgQ my youtube
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