Family Issues
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27-06-2013, 10:14 AM
Family Issues
I don't know if there's something wrong with me or whether I just expect too much. My family is crazy! They drive me crazy. Particularly my mom.

I'll start from the top. I go to university in another state. So im not at home much. Thank goodness. My mom said I needed to go for anger management therapy. I noticed that I have a very short fuse when Im at home. This wasn't always the case. I guess when i try to reason why things are this way, the best answer i come up with is uncertainty. Im acting this way because im tired of the uncertainty.

My mom was a teacher before she tried her hand at business. Its always been just me and my mom. My father married another woman that forces me to call her mother. Pisses me off actually. However, my mothers side of the family is pretty much all women. We have a sort of open door policy. Anyone can just rock up to anyones house and just hang out. I guess this is made easier because no one is married. Life is really tough when you're a single black mother. So i guess i sympathise to an extent.

I just recently became an atheist and my mom is heavily indoctrinated. But im no fool. She's only in it because of the prosperity gospel. She buys into the whole god can transform your life with mega riches if you pay your tithe and offering diligently. She can't see that its bullshit. She can't see that the pastors are predators and crooks. So in the car I mentioned that she should slow down because the road is wet. I mentioned an accident that my cousins and i were in a while ago. We were late for church and there was some light rain. The driver lost control of the vehicle and we nearly went over to the other side of the highway where the oncoming cars were. That would've been certain death since the oncoming cars wouldn't have seen us until they passed the slight bend. So i told my mom that i don't want a repeat of that time. Then i stated, "Imagine, we would've died for nothing because god doesn't exist.". Then hell broke loose. She started shouting at me and making personal attacks to my character. Obviously I got pissed off but I didn't lash back. She kept accusing me of having not asked enough of gods help. Now im the first person in my family to go to university. So this little fact gets twisted and used against me in the most cunning of ways. She said because I think i have so much knowledge, i went to god with expected responses from him. This is why i never heard his responses or anything. This is why i had to repeat a year at college.

I repeated simply because i was an inefficient reader. I had poor eye placement which caused an incredible "mental fatigue" when i read a few pages. Reading just 8 pages of text was like reading 48 pages for me. I've since corrected this issue. I have no problem reading now. That shit would cause me to fall behind and walk into a test/exam 2 maybe 3 chapters behind. This is all behind me. What i get from my mom is, "Jesus never said you had a reading problem. Why are you confessing negative things in your life? By saying god doesn't exist you are aligning yourself with Satan! You are believing Satan and not god by claiming reading issues.". Shit is always the same with her. I didn't surrender enough to the king of kings. I must now go back and repent.

I've noticed that there is a subtle disdain for knowledge. Im degree is heavily business related. So i like to offer suggestions to how things can be done better. I also ask why they don't read books written by successful business people to learn how to succeed. All i get is, "People fail even with their MBAs and all those text books they read. To succeed in business you only need god.". This may be true about learned people failing. However, its the therefore im not going to bother attitude that i hate.

My mom pays my school fees. So her success is my success. Her losses are also mine. So i tend to try help out and question why some decisions were taken. Im trying to instill a critical thinking approach to business. Sometimes I just get told to pipe down until i get my degree and then they'll listen. The people in my family do very little thinking. They are very good at doing things though. I have one cousin for example who isn't very academic. But he knows how to find work. He's had many jobs but they all are low pay jobs.

Man im fed up. I don't know what to do. I have no one to turn to. With all the stupidity going around im worried that things will fail and then we'll be poor. This will have obvious effects on my studies. I graduate at the end of this year but i want to do my honours the following year. I feel like im going to explode every time i hear something stupid. Sometimes I think to myself that it might just be easier if i got shot or just died somehow. No this isn't a red flag. Im not suicidal. I feel like im on a roller coaster ride and i've got my eyes closed because the ride is just too scary.
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27-06-2013, 06:54 PM (This post was last modified: 27-06-2013 08:12 PM by Full Circle.)
RE: Family Issues
Welcome.

Now take a deep breath.

That's a lot to deal with for you and to respond to. I wish I had a quick and easy solution for you. Hang around here and over time you'll read how others have handled similar situations.

Have you been to the teen thread?

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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27-06-2013, 08:03 PM
RE: Family Issues
first- welcome!! glad you made it here.
second- congrats on beating the eye/reading problem- well done Thumbsup

third- do whatever you have to do to make it to graduation. After that, I would consider working while doing your honors. Even just a part time, work study job- just in case you find that you need the funds to continue classes or to support yourself.

fourth- it sucks to see loved ones turn away from learning. she is being brainwashed by her church-but I don't know how you stop it if she doesn't want to be stopped. Which is why you need to do #3 and find a way to begin supporting yourself. A church like that will suck every penny from her. They will always have 'needs' and she will need to always show her loyalty with her wallet. They prey on people like her and will not let her quietly walk away.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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28-06-2013, 02:10 AM
RE: Family Issues
Thanks for the responses guys. @Full circle: Im not a teen. Im in my early 20s. I need to get out of home but can't afford it yet. Rent is steep! I'll give the teen side a go though.

@Bows and Arrows: You're right about the loyalty with wallets thing. Unfortunately they believe that the more they sow into the kingdom the more god will pay them back. He will press down shake it together and make it run over!

Oh and this is my second thread guys. So im technically not full noob ;-).

8000 years before Jesus, the Egyptian god Horus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life."
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