Family, cancer and lacking a reaction
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26-11-2012, 08:15 AM
RE: Family, cancer and lacking a reaction
(26-11-2012 06:50 AM)Birdguy1979 Wrote:  
(26-11-2012 06:06 AM)Dom Wrote:  I agree with everything you said, and it is what I did too and by switching where my husband was treated I was able to but him one more year - and it was the best ever, everything is so much more wonderful when you have faced death and escaped.

But - the sick person him/herself is not able to do this. Not physically or mentally able, such a progressed and life threatening disease is all consuming and the person is busy with physical issues (just picking up a glass can be a daunting task that requires all the strength and focus) and trying to grasp mentally what is actually happening in their body. At such a time, another person has to watch out for them.

That's why you need an advocate when you are very ill and in the hospital - someone who makes sure you are tended to, there are no mistakes made with medications (happens a LOT more often than you think) and so on.

So, no, it's not the sick person's fault. The sick person is fighting for their life and it's all consuming just on a physical level. Someone else needs to do the brain work and research.


This is where it helps to not be emotional. Many times when diagnosed with something like this, they are still up and around and lively enough to make choices. Many give up right from that point because they believe everything a doctor tells them. I shop for a doctor the same as I look for an auto mechanic. I want the doctor that can explain things clearly and is not afraid to brainstorm. If I have something wrong with me that can't be operated on by anybody else, I want the one that will say "Fuck it, you have nothing to lose by dying today.". Of course that is the worst case. I would try diet changes and other things first. If I am that sick, I have no problem signing release forms freeing the hospital and doctor from liability. The only time to give up is when life is no longer possible with the equipment you have. If you have another 50 years of life if they can solve your problem, vs a very painful 6 months and then death if they can't I choose the 50 years or death on the operating table.


Well, it would be nice if it all worked like that. But with cancer, more often than not, even the most advanced, non invasive and complete surgeries often only buy a year or two. Individual cancers can be eliminated for the most part, but medicine is still missing a part - the spread that appears to occur after surgery and after all traces of cancer are seemingly gone.

I have seen it over and over again. You find the top surgeons (research the most advanced surgeries, then contact the pioneers who will usually hold top jobs in teaching hospitals) and go see them. With any luck they will accept you, if not they will have someone to recommend and send a very detailed history and results from all their tests and recommendations along.

So you get all fixed up, every detectable trace is removed. The whole system is checked thoroughly - no spread of any kind. You go home and recoup and get your strength back and all. Feel great. Go on with life. All of a sudden - boom. Cancer strikes in a totally unrelated area, often even unrelated types of cancer.

The good news is that it is not always painful, and that long suffering does often not occur. The second strike tends to be swift and so lethal that it doesn't even come to pain, many times your body gives out in full strength and painfree. Treatments are too late and doomed from the start. Of course there are always exceptions as with everything.

Those darn cancer cells seem to be quite smart - they learn it looks like. We have a long ways to go to learn to fix this issue. And I have a feeling that while surgery will still be the initial step, the prevention of recurrance will lay elsewhere, perhaps in DNA.

Still, even if only a short term fix is bought, that fix is priceless. Once recouped, life becomes so very enjoyable that a day counts for a year of normal life. Something changes - worries become secondary and unimportant, and enjoyment rules everything. That time is truly worth living, and if you are lucky enough to share it with someone, your own life perception will be changed forever - to the better.

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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14-12-2012, 06:01 PM
RE: Family, cancer and lacking a reaction
Well, my uncle passed about two-three days ago (I cannot keep track of time, its all one long day recently). Funeral's on Thursday, and for once I don't think I'll be able to put up with going. That's a good sign I guess.






Just thought an update to round off this thread would be good, and a release.

A single action is worth more than the words it takes to describe it.
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15-12-2012, 02:07 AM
RE: Family, cancer and lacking a reaction
(14-12-2012 06:01 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Well, my uncle passed about two-three days ago (I cannot keep track of time, its all one long day recently). Funeral's on Thursday, and for once I don't think I'll be able to put up with going. That's a good sign I guess.


Just thought an update to round off this thread would be good, and a release.
Sorry to hear it.

And no, you don't have to go. I know that funerals are for the living and blah, blah, but some people don't handle them very well and they can be really draining.

Hug

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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29-12-2012, 09:47 AM
RE: Family, cancer and lacking a reaction
Well, while I've the time, I'll finally stop putting this off and say:

It's done, I held better than I thought I would have through the funeral. I learned that rage is an excellent counter to sorrow, and as even was puzzled at the people far older than myself who remarked "they couldn't believe it" and such.
I was also told I look like my uncle did repeatedly.

All in all, just a final wrap up to the thread.

A single action is worth more than the words it takes to describe it.
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