Fanfics about Forum Members
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19-11-2013, 06:28 PM (This post was last modified: 19-11-2013 06:31 PM by Peanut.)
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
One day, a pretty lady said she would write a story involving Peanut and herself. So far, nothing has been written yet. Peanut wants her damn story because she appreciates art made from words.

Pretty Lady, AKA "Ferdy," saw this and got right to writing said story.

To be continued...

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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19-11-2013, 06:31 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
Also, I really wanna write. You heathens should prepare for one of MY stories = D

Perhaps I'll write it and not use names and watch everyone lose their minds guessing who the story is written about.

*Laughs maniacally*

I'm serious, though Drinking Beverage

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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19-11-2013, 06:52 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
Superb compromise Peanut.

Hence avoiding all the silliness about 'opt in' vs. 'opt out'.

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19-11-2013, 07:42 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
A fanfic for everyone to enjoy. Smile

A warning for everyone: Once you click the spoiler tags it's YOUR fault if you are offended by the content. I am not taking the blame for anyone else's choice to read this.

If you aren't the type of person who gets overly easily offended, click the tags; Evil_monster

Earmuffs Goes to the Clinic!
The waiting room was cold. The clinic gave off a very glacial and indifferent sensation to those sitting in the tiny, rectangular room. Earmuffs sat in a cornered recliner, isolated from everyone else. He picked up a magazine, and flipped through the pages. There were some articles about home décor and fitness, but those weren't very appealing to him. He sighed heavily and tossed the magazine back onto the stack.

The minutes passed by exhaustively, and the silence of the waiting room clawed at his brain like insanity. Earmuffs pulled out his phone, which had been on silent, and checked some unread text messages he had. His mother's name showed up in a green bubble.

“Did you already leave for the doctor's?”

“Yes.” Earmuffs grumbled to himself and replied almost ghost-like.

“Let me know how it goes.”

“Mom, that's weird.” he was almost aggravated.

“Well let me know when it's over then.”

He shoved his phone back into his pocket and slouched into the recliner. “Why is this taking forever?” he thought, “I just want to get this over with and go home.”

A fragile bell rang at the front counter. “Earmuffs” the attendant called. “The doctor will now see you.”

Suddenly, the pulsation of nervousness hit him like an airplane. He pulled his coat tightly around him and entered the hallway. The nurse had curly brown hair pulled up into a bun, and eyebrows shaped sharply at their edges. She opened the door to the patient's hall, and led him to his room.

“The doctor will be with you soon.” she said, and gave an unconvincing smile before walking out of the room, and closing the door behind her.

“That's what they told me hours ago.” Earmuffs grumbled.

The room was filled with typical things you'd find in a clinic. A small fridge in the back was locked, as it was filled with supplies and antibiotics. The walls were covered with treatment fliers and charity advertisements. A clean counter was built on the far right wall. Boxes of tissues, rubber gloves, and bottles of disinfectants lined the top of the counter, while the bottom cabinets were stocked with the rest of the supplies.

Earmuffs groaned, impatiently, and laid back on the patient's bed. Minutes later, a different nurse entered the room. Her short red hair wept across her forehead, curving up off the frame of her glasses. In her hand, she held a little patterned gown.

“You'll need to put this on. The doctor and a nurse will enter shortly.”

She handed him a light blue and white checkered gown, and left the room. The door shut, and Earmuffs let out an exasperated sigh. He pulled off his jacket and tossed it onto a nearby chair. After pulling off his shirt, he picked up the scrub-like gown and examined it. The feeling of the material nettled him. He slid the shirt on over his head, and took a seat back on the clinic bed.

The nurse with sharp eyebrows entered the room, and sat a plastic basket of supplies on the counter. She turned to Earmuffs, and stared at him oddly.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Yes...” she almost laughed, “You'll need to take off your pants for this.”

Earmuffs almost turned red in the face, but he managed to detain the heat and embarrassment until the nurse left the room. The scrub gown hung just above his knees. He peeled off his pants, leaving his underwear on, and sat quietly.

“Why the fuck am I even here?” he thought to himself, “This is embarrassing and ridiculous.”

His phone buzzed from his jacket pocket. Uncomfortably, Earmuffs stood up and arched over the guest chair. He dug through the pockets for his phone, and eyed the screen.

“Have they even called you yet?” his mother had texted him again, but he cared so little he couldn't be bothered to reply.

He shoved his phone into the pocket of his coat again, right as the doctor entered. Earmuffs quickly stood up straight, and spun around.

“Hello.” the doctor greeted him.

Earmuffs kept a straight face, and nodded, as if he were returning the greeting.

“It seems you've been having problems and difficulty urinating, is that right?”

Earmuffs shook his head, embarrassed, and sat down on the clinic bed. This was the first time he had ever seen this doctor.

“I'm Dr. Ch*s. I'll be your prostate examiner.”

The man had faint, yet fair wrinkles, and a scruffy, silver beard. His expression was stern and serious, and was strictly focused on the clipboard in his hand.

Earmuffs positioned himself on the bed, and leaned his head into his hands. Dr. Ch*s stepped towards the counter and grabbed a pair of rubber gloves out of a box. He slipped the coverings over his hands, took another look at his clipboard, and dug around for supplies in the basket the nurse had brought in earlier.

The procedure went by almost instantaneously, however the minutes were unbearable. Earmuffs felt an odd pain from behind; a force pushing into him. He felt his face getting red, and simply buried it in his hands and closed his eyes. The pressure persisted for a couple of minutes, a sharp pain went through him, and he pressed his palms harder against his forehead. He counted the seconds, which only added up to mere minutes, but it seemed like they lasted forever. The pressure and sharpness seized, but Earmuffs did not removed his face from his hands. The doctor removed his gloves and picked up his clipboard, then scribbled down some notes.

Pulling up his garments, Earmuffs looked around the room and then at the doctor. Wasn't a nurse supposed to be present? He shuffled onto the patient's bench and waited for the doctor to respond with any issues or concerns.

“Well?” he asked.

The doctor, seeming distracted, look up from the clipboard with a distant face.

“Yes?”

“Is there a problem with me?”

Dr. Ch*s gave a smile. His faint wrinkles curved upward, and he ran his hand over his bare head.

“Well, there is something...” the old man chuckled.

Earmuffs was wondering why the doctor wouldn't just come out and say it. He sat, impatient and irritated. He wanted to remove the shabby scrub, put his comfortable clothes back on and go home.

The doctor placed his clipboard back on the counter, and shuffled his coat collar a little. As he approached Earmuffs, a strange grin appeared on his face. His eyes were glazed, but bright and mysterious. He placed his hand on Earmuffs' shoulder and glanced down at him. He rubbed the top of his shoulder, almost longingly. Earmuffs just looked up at him, somewhat stunned. Leaning in towards Earmuffs' ear, Dr. Ch*s licked his pale lips and whispered, in a breathy, promiscuous tone, “You now have Syphilis.”

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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19-11-2013, 07:54 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
I AM OFFENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!

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19-11-2013, 08:12 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
(19-11-2013 07:42 PM)Hughsie Wrote:  A fanfic for everyone to enjoy. Smile

A warning for everyone: Once you click the spoiler tags it's YOUR fault if you are offended by the content. I am not taking the blame for anyone else's choice to read this.

If you aren't the type of person who gets overly easily offended, click the tags; Evil_monster

Earmuffs Goes to the Clinic!
The waiting room was cold. The clinic gave off a very glacial and indifferent sensation to those sitting in the tiny, rectangular room. Earmuffs sat in a cornered recliner, isolated from everyone else. He picked up a magazine, and flipped through the pages. There were some articles about home décor and fitness, but those weren't very appealing to him. He sighed heavily and tossed the magazine back onto the stack.

The minutes passed by exhaustively, and the silence of the waiting room clawed at his brain like insanity. Earmuffs pulled out his phone, which had been on silent, and checked some unread text messages he had. His mother's name showed up in a green bubble.

“Did you already leave for the doctor's?”

“Yes.” Earmuffs grumbled to himself and replied almost ghost-like.

“Let me know how it goes.”

“Mom, that's weird.” he was almost aggravated.

“Well let me know when it's over then.”

He shoved his phone back into his pocket and slouched into the recliner. “Why is this taking forever?” he thought, “I just want to get this over with and go home.”

A fragile bell rang at the front counter. “Earmuffs” the attendant called. “The doctor will now see you.”

Suddenly, the pulsation of nervousness hit him like an airplane. He pulled his coat tightly around him and entered the hallway. The nurse had curly brown hair pulled up into a bun, and eyebrows shaped sharply at their edges. She opened the door to the patient's hall, and led him to his room.

“The doctor will be with you soon.” she said, and gave an unconvincing smile before walking out of the room, and closing the door behind her.

“That's what they told me hours ago.” Earmuffs grumbled.

The room was filled with typical things you'd find in a clinic. A small fridge in the back was locked, as it was filled with supplies and antibiotics. The walls were covered with treatment fliers and charity advertisements. A clean counter was built on the far right wall. Boxes of tissues, rubber gloves, and bottles of disinfectants lined the top of the counter, while the bottom cabinets were stocked with the rest of the supplies.

Earmuffs groaned, impatiently, and laid back on the patient's bed. Minutes later, a different nurse entered the room. Her short red hair wept across her forehead, curving up off the frame of her glasses. In her hand, she held a little patterned gown.

“You'll need to put this on. The doctor and a nurse will enter shortly.”

She handed him a light blue and white checkered gown, and left the room. The door shut, and Earmuffs let out an exasperated sigh. He pulled off his jacket and tossed it onto a nearby chair. After pulling off his shirt, he picked up the scrub-like gown and examined it. The feeling of the material nettled him. He slid the shirt on over his head, and took a seat back on the clinic bed.

The nurse with sharp eyebrows entered the room, and sat a plastic basket of supplies on the counter. She turned to Earmuffs, and stared at him oddly.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Yes...” she almost laughed, “You'll need to take off your pants for this.”

Earmuffs almost turned red in the face, but he managed to detain the heat and embarrassment until the nurse left the room. The scrub gown hung just above his knees. He peeled off his pants, leaving his underwear on, and sat quietly.

“Why the fuck am I even here?” he thought to himself, “This is embarrassing and ridiculous.”

His phone buzzed from his jacket pocket. Uncomfortably, Earmuffs stood up and arched over the guest chair. He dug through the pockets for his phone, and eyed the screen.

“Have they even called you yet?” his mother had texted him again, but he cared so little he couldn't be bothered to reply.

He shoved his phone into the pocket of his coat again, right as the doctor entered. Earmuffs quickly stood up straight, and spun around.

“Hello.” the doctor greeted him.

Earmuffs kept a straight face, and nodded, as if he were returning the greeting.

“It seems you've been having problems and difficulty urinating, is that right?”

Earmuffs shook his head, embarrassed, and sat down on the clinic bed. This was the first time he had ever seen this doctor.

“I'm Dr. Ch*s. I'll be your prostate examiner.”

The man had faint, yet fair wrinkles, and a scruffy, silver beard. His expression was stern and serious, and was strictly focused on the clipboard in his hand.

Earmuffs positioned himself on the bed, and leaned his head into his hands. Dr. Ch*s stepped towards the counter and grabbed a pair of rubber gloves out of a box. He slipped the coverings over his hands, took another look at his clipboard, and dug around for supplies in the basket the nurse had brought in earlier.

The procedure went by almost instantaneously, however the minutes were unbearable. Earmuffs felt an odd pain from behind; a force pushing into him. He felt his face getting red, and simply buried it in his hands and closed his eyes. The pressure persisted for a couple of minutes, a sharp pain went through him, and he pressed his palms harder against his forehead. He counted the seconds, which only added up to mere minutes, but it seemed like they lasted forever. The pressure and sharpness seized, but Earmuffs did not removed his face from his hands. The doctor removed his gloves and picked up his clipboard, then scribbled down some notes.

Pulling up his garments, Earmuffs looked around the room and then at the doctor. Wasn't a nurse supposed to be present? He shuffled onto the patient's bench and waited for the doctor to respond with any issues or concerns.

“Well?” he asked.

The doctor, seeming distracted, look up from the clipboard with a distant face.

“Yes?”

“Is there a problem with me?”

Dr. Ch*s gave a smile. His faint wrinkles curved upward, and he ran his hand over his bare head.

“Well, there is something...” the old man chuckled.

Earmuffs was wondering why the doctor wouldn't just come out and say it. He sat, impatient and irritated. He wanted to remove the shabby scrub, put his comfortable clothes back on and go home.

The doctor placed his clipboard back on the counter, and shuffled his coat collar a little. As he approached Earmuffs, a strange grin appeared on his face. His eyes were glazed, but bright and mysterious. He placed his hand on Earmuffs' shoulder and glanced down at him. He rubbed the top of his shoulder, almost longingly. Earmuffs just looked up at him, somewhat stunned. Leaning in towards Earmuffs' ear, Dr. Ch*s licked his pale lips and whispered, in a breathy, promiscuous tone, “You now have Syphilis.”

You really are an asshole. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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19-11-2013, 08:14 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
(19-11-2013 08:12 PM)Chas Wrote:  You really are an asshole. Drinking Beverage

Does that mean you're gonna try and give me syphilis? Sad

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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19-11-2013, 08:18 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
(19-11-2013 08:14 PM)Hughsie Wrote:  
(19-11-2013 08:12 PM)Chas Wrote:  You really are an asshole. Drinking Beverage

Does that mean you're gonna try and give me syphilis? Sad

You are a silly little twit with a juvenile sense of humor and an inflated sense of self-importance.

Why you are still on the forum team is unfathomable.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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19-11-2013, 08:21 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
(19-11-2013 08:18 PM)Chas Wrote:  You are a silly little twit with a juvenile sense of humor and an inflated sense of self-importance.

Why you are still on the forum team is unfathomable.

1) My sense of self importance? You automatically assume it's about you. The missing letter could be any one of five vowels (and 21 consonants tbh).

2) Perhaps you need to go and look at the CoC in VM. We're supposed to be civil to each other remember? Yes

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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19-11-2013, 08:22 PM
RE: Fanfics about Forum Members
(19-11-2013 07:42 PM)Hughsie Wrote:  A fanfic for everyone to enjoy. Smile

A warning for everyone: Once you click the spoiler tags it's YOUR fault if you are offended by the content. I am not taking the blame for anyone else's choice to read this.

If you aren't the type of person who gets overly easily offended, click the tags; Evil_monster

Earmuffs Goes to the Clinic!
The waiting room was cold. The clinic gave off a very glacial and indifferent sensation to those sitting in the tiny, rectangular room. Earmuffs sat in a cornered recliner, isolated from everyone else. He picked up a magazine, and flipped through the pages. There were some articles about home décor and fitness, but those weren't very appealing to him. He sighed heavily and tossed the magazine back onto the stack.

The minutes passed by exhaustively, and the silence of the waiting room clawed at his brain like insanity. Earmuffs pulled out his phone, which had been on silent, and checked some unread text messages he had. His mother's name showed up in a green bubble.

“Did you already leave for the doctor's?”

“Yes.” Earmuffs grumbled to himself and replied almost ghost-like.

“Let me know how it goes.”

“Mom, that's weird.” he was almost aggravated.

“Well let me know when it's over then.”

He shoved his phone back into his pocket and slouched into the recliner. “Why is this taking forever?” he thought, “I just want to get this over with and go home.”

A fragile bell rang at the front counter. “Earmuffs” the attendant called. “The doctor will now see you.”

Suddenly, the pulsation of nervousness hit him like an airplane. He pulled his coat tightly around him and entered the hallway. The nurse had curly brown hair pulled up into a bun, and eyebrows shaped sharply at their edges. She opened the door to the patient's hall, and led him to his room.

“The doctor will be with you soon.” she said, and gave an unconvincing smile before walking out of the room, and closing the door behind her.

“That's what they told me hours ago.” Earmuffs grumbled.

The room was filled with typical things you'd find in a clinic. A small fridge in the back was locked, as it was filled with supplies and antibiotics. The walls were covered with treatment fliers and charity advertisements. A clean counter was built on the far right wall. Boxes of tissues, rubber gloves, and bottles of disinfectants lined the top of the counter, while the bottom cabinets were stocked with the rest of the supplies.

Earmuffs groaned, impatiently, and laid back on the patient's bed. Minutes later, a different nurse entered the room. Her short red hair wept across her forehead, curving up off the frame of her glasses. In her hand, she held a little patterned gown.

“You'll need to put this on. The doctor and a nurse will enter shortly.”

She handed him a light blue and white checkered gown, and left the room. The door shut, and Earmuffs let out an exasperated sigh. He pulled off his jacket and tossed it onto a nearby chair. After pulling off his shirt, he picked up the scrub-like gown and examined it. The feeling of the material nettled him. He slid the shirt on over his head, and took a seat back on the clinic bed.

The nurse with sharp eyebrows entered the room, and sat a plastic basket of supplies on the counter. She turned to Earmuffs, and stared at him oddly.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Yes...” she almost laughed, “You'll need to take off your pants for this.”

Earmuffs almost turned red in the face, but he managed to detain the heat and embarrassment until the nurse left the room. The scrub gown hung just above his knees. He peeled off his pants, leaving his underwear on, and sat quietly.

“Why the fuck am I even here?” he thought to himself, “This is embarrassing and ridiculous.”

His phone buzzed from his jacket pocket. Uncomfortably, Earmuffs stood up and arched over the guest chair. He dug through the pockets for his phone, and eyed the screen.

“Have they even called you yet?” his mother had texted him again, but he cared so little he couldn't be bothered to reply.

He shoved his phone into the pocket of his coat again, right as the doctor entered. Earmuffs quickly stood up straight, and spun around.

“Hello.” the doctor greeted him.

Earmuffs kept a straight face, and nodded, as if he were returning the greeting.

“It seems you've been having problems and difficulty urinating, is that right?”

Earmuffs shook his head, embarrassed, and sat down on the clinic bed. This was the first time he had ever seen this doctor.

“I'm Dr. Ch*s. I'll be your prostate examiner.”

The man had faint, yet fair wrinkles, and a scruffy, silver beard. His expression was stern and serious, and was strictly focused on the clipboard in his hand.

Earmuffs positioned himself on the bed, and leaned his head into his hands. Dr. Ch*s stepped towards the counter and grabbed a pair of rubber gloves out of a box. He slipped the coverings over his hands, took another look at his clipboard, and dug around for supplies in the basket the nurse had brought in earlier.

The procedure went by almost instantaneously, however the minutes were unbearable. Earmuffs felt an odd pain from behind; a force pushing into him. He felt his face getting red, and simply buried it in his hands and closed his eyes. The pressure persisted for a couple of minutes, a sharp pain went through him, and he pressed his palms harder against his forehead. He counted the seconds, which only added up to mere minutes, but it seemed like they lasted forever. The pressure and sharpness seized, but Earmuffs did not removed his face from his hands. The doctor removed his gloves and picked up his clipboard, then scribbled down some notes.

Pulling up his garments, Earmuffs looked around the room and then at the doctor. Wasn't a nurse supposed to be present? He shuffled onto the patient's bench and waited for the doctor to respond with any issues or concerns.

“Well?” he asked.

The doctor, seeming distracted, look up from the clipboard with a distant face.

“Yes?”

“Is there a problem with me?”

Dr. Ch*s gave a smile. His faint wrinkles curved upward, and he ran his hand over his bare head.

“Well, there is something...” the old man chuckled.

Earmuffs was wondering why the doctor wouldn't just come out and say it. He sat, impatient and irritated. He wanted to remove the shabby scrub, put his comfortable clothes back on and go home.

The doctor placed his clipboard back on the counter, and shuffled his coat collar a little. As he approached Earmuffs, a strange grin appeared on his face. His eyes were glazed, but bright and mysterious. He placed his hand on Earmuffs' shoulder and glanced down at him. He rubbed the top of his shoulder, almost longingly. Earmuffs just looked up at him, somewhat stunned. Leaning in towards Earmuffs' ear, Dr. Ch*s licked his pale lips and whispered, in a breathy, promiscuous tone, “You now have Syphilis.”

*clicks spoiler and reads title of story*'

Fuck you Tim. Dodgy

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