Fashion advice for my GF
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16-07-2013, 07:18 AM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 06:14 AM)Hafnof Wrote:  Are you aware that controlling what your partner wears is a warning sign for an abusive relationship[1]?

[1] http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/...now-abuser

Hafnof, I'll have to disagree with you there. I don't think the op is abusive or has shown any signs of having ill intentions. There might be a distinction lacking there. Controlling and desiring are two different things. Firstly he came asking for advice and everything described so far seems like passive suggestion rather than controlling. Seems like the opposite of abuse to me.

There is also a health aspect. Self neglect can be a sign of depression. If I was walking around like a hobo in public and people commented on that are they trying to control me and therefore being abusive?

It's complicated...

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16-07-2013, 10:31 AM (This post was last modified: 16-07-2013 10:40 AM by earmuffs.)
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
What a prick.
Let her do what makes her happy. If she wants to dress a certain way then man up and get the fuck over it.

Seriously, you're not god's gift to earth (I am). You're not fighting because of the way she dresses, you're fighting because she's doing something you don't like and you want to control her to do things YOU want her to do and so she's resisting your controlling behavior.

You're being an asshole dude.
She should leave your ass.

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16-07-2013, 10:54 AM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 12:34 AM)Thammuz Wrote:  I need some help with a rather delicate subject. My girlfriend of 8 years and I are having some fights recently because of the way she dresses. I love her and all, but this problem puts quite alot of pressure on our relationship. I don't want to be an asshole forcing his women into wearing what I like, but I'm a well-groomed guy that likes to be proud of his partner. I can't seem talk to her about it without having a huge fight.

My GF seems to hate fashion. If you think Anne Hathaway in the first part 'the devil wears Prada' was bad, think again.
-She mostly wears ill-fitting jeans revealing her buttcrack (and not in the sexy way).
-If not jeans, it's medieval 'peasant working in the field' skirts making her ass look huge and her legs look short.
-High heels? forget it! she's 2 steps away from wearing Crocs
-A nice dress? haven't seen her wearing one in years
-Make up? nope, unless the occasion is very special. Not asking for a porn star look, but just a tiny bit once in a while. I've got twice the amount of products she has.
-Grandma-style clothing? YES!!! all colors and sizes
-Cleavage? what's that?
-It's often as if she only wears stuff that makes her uglier. And the uglier it is, the more she loves it.

If I'd give her my credit card, she would ignore all fashion stores and buy the same old ugly stuff again, in a slightly different colour. And I'd just have a check of 50 bucks on my credit line (tops). What kind of woman wouldn't love to spend alot of money on nice clothing when the guy offers his credit card and says: "just go ahead and don't feel guilty, I won't buy a tablet or other expensive gadget because you deserve to look nice" ?


I've tried everything. trying to couple her with fashionista female friends of mine to go shopping together, giving her gift certificates for an expensive hairdresser and make-up restyling, fashion magazines, offering my credit card... Nothing seems to work. She might buy one piece every so often (after much pressure), wear it once and then hide it in her closet, only to dress like grandma again.

I really don't know what to do, as I often feel a bit ashamed when going out with her and seeing her wear those ugly rags again (compared to all those beautifully dressed women around me). If I bring up the subject, she goes into hyper defensive mode and says that I don't know shit about fashion (that's why she only goes to those cheap stores with her mother, cuz she apparently knows fashion Dodgy ).

I just want her to try on some beautiful clothes so that she might see the difference and realize that she can be a babe without losing herself or having to wear something uncomfortable. I'm not saying she can't wear comfortable stuff at home, but when I go out with her, I want to be proud, as she represents my other half. I don't believe I'm being selfish in doing so.

Any suggestions on how? I'm getting a bit desperate here...

It is difficult to know where lays the line between reasonable expectation and attempting to change the personality. As for myself, I like to dress up, but I'm also pragmatic. I love my "IBM Black" (black skirt and blazer, white blouse, black pumps with 3" heels, ruby necklace), but don't often have the occasion to dress to that level. Most often, you'll see me in jeans and polo shirts, with flat sandals. I wear sandals because I have very wide feet and can't find much else to fit me for under $100/pair, and I go in flats because I walk a lot; walking in heels is not the epitome of comfort. If you don't believe me, try walking a mile in high-heeled pumps.

I really don't want to sound insulting, so please take this as gently as you can: Decide whether you want arm candy or somebody to talk to, and base tour course on that. I sincerely wish you happiness in whatever you decide.

Diana

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If doubt persists, have a hot fudge sundae.
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16-07-2013, 10:15 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
If you get all tensed up about what she wears it will cause..... well, more tension. And then the tension will cause her to back off from you which will cause even more tension. Then things might spiral further. If you go shopping with her this weekend emphasize having a good time not the clothes she might or might not buy.

The other possibility is that you're just screwed.

I donno. I love clothes. I spend too much money on clothes but you only live once. And shoes, I love shoes! High Heeled Shoes........Drooling

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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16-07-2013, 10:50 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 01:20 AM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  I had an ex take me shopping and everything was a pretty solid choice other than the V neck garbage. But I liked feeling more attractive... Doesn't seem like such a big deal to me. I still have my old clothes too. See if you can get her to okay a few new outfits. She doesn't have to wear em like a uniform.

THANK YOU ABOUT THE V-NECKS! Gawd awful men's fashion and several of my previously favorite stores have gotten on my shit list for v-necking almost their entire line.

Male Capris drive me nuts too and the current trend is... *cringes* Male capri suit pants.

To the OP:

Why exactly are we complaining? A woman that is happy spending $50 on a wardrobe and not spending money on makeup? I'm so confused right now. Blink

Plus this means less guys gawking at your woman.

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16-07-2013, 10:55 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 10:15 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  If you get all tensed up about what she wears it will cause..... well, more tension. And then the tension will cause her to back off from you which will cause even more tension. Then things might spiral further. If you go shopping with her this weekend emphasize having a good time not the clothes she might or might not buy.

The other possibility is that you're just screwed.

I donno. I love clothes. I spend too much money on clothes but you only live once. And shoes, I love shoes! High Heeled Shoes........Drooling

I'm with ya on the shoes Big Grin


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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16-07-2013, 11:03 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 10:50 PM)NoahsFarce Wrote:  
(16-07-2013 01:20 AM)WeAreTheCosmos Wrote:  I had an ex take me shopping and everything was a pretty solid choice other than the V neck garbage. But I liked feeling more attractive... Doesn't seem like such a big deal to me. I still have my old clothes too. See if you can get her to okay a few new outfits. She doesn't have to wear em like a uniform.

THANK YOU ABOUT THE V-NECKS! Gawd awful men's fashion and several of my previously favorite stores have gotten on my shit list for v-necking almost their entire line.

Male Capris drive me nuts too and the current trend is... *cringes* Male capri suit pants.

To the OP:

Why exactly are we complaining? A woman that is happy spending $50 on a wardrobe and not spending money on makeup? I'm so confused right now. Blink

Plus this means less guys gawking at your woman.

Male Capri pants??? Oh that's a horrible look.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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16-07-2013, 11:13 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
Wonder if its gone terribly wrong yet....

Evil_monster
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16-07-2013, 11:28 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 11:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(16-07-2013 10:50 PM)NoahsFarce Wrote:  THANK YOU ABOUT THE V-NECKS! Gawd awful men's fashion and several of my previously favorite stores have gotten on my shit list for v-necking almost their entire line.

Male Capris drive me nuts too and the current trend is... *cringes* Male capri suit pants.

To the OP:

Why exactly are we complaining? A woman that is happy spending $50 on a wardrobe and not spending money on makeup? I'm so confused right now. Blink

Plus this means less guys gawking at your woman.

Male Capri pants??? Oh that's a horrible look.



Male Capri pants. Yuck......just.....yuck. [Image: casual-pants-slim-casual-capris-male-knee.jpg]

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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16-07-2013, 11:55 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 11:28 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(16-07-2013 11:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Male Capri pants??? Oh that's a horrible look.



Male Capri pants. Yuck......just.....yuck.

Oh and those shoes! Gag!


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