Fashion advice for my GF
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16-07-2013, 11:58 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 10:31 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  What a prick.
Let her do what makes her happy. If she wants to dress a certain way then man up and get the fuck over it.

Seriously, you're not god's gift to earth (I am). You're not fighting because of the way she dresses, you're fighting because she's doing something you don't like and you want to control her to do things YOU want her to do and so she's resisting your controlling behavior.

You're being an asshole dude.
She should leave your ass.

Apparently you haven't even read my post and you just rushed to a conclusion using your all-powerful psychic abilities. Congrats. I don't appreciate being called an unworthy asshole either.

The purpose of my post was not to become a controlling guy having his personal sex toy/porn star to brag to the outside world, but to find a way to make the girl I love try on new things; things most young women wear. I didn't say I wanted to burn her entire wardrobe and put her on a leash, as some people might speculate. I thought that would be clear from the post.

@earmuffs, this settles it, I'm not going to debate it. You don't know me, I don't know you. I'll forget your remark and won't take offence, this time.



As for the talk. The problem is solved for now, I had a good talk with her. Thx for the (good) advice, it put some things in perspective and gave me the tools for a constructive approach. For me, the subject is closed, but if you want to continue with fashion bloopers and all unrelated to the OP, we can continue the thread.


Sincerely,

A lucky guy that doesn't have to hide his credit card from his wife Tongue

"Infinitus est numerus stultorum." (The number of fools is infinite)
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17-07-2013, 12:11 AM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 11:58 PM)Thammuz Wrote:  As for the talk. The problem is solved for now, I had a good talk with her. Thx for the (good) advice, it put some things in perspective and gave me the tools for a constructive approach. For me, the subject is closed, but if you want to continue with fashion bloopers and all unrelated to the OP, we can continue the thread.


Sincerely,

A lucky guy that doesn't have to hide his credit card from his wife Tongue

Glad it worked out.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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17-07-2013, 04:03 AM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 11:58 PM)Thammuz Wrote:  
(16-07-2013 10:31 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  What a prick.
Let her do what makes her happy. If she wants to dress a certain way then man up and get the fuck over it.

Seriously, you're not god's gift to earth (I am). You're not fighting because of the way she dresses, you're fighting because she's doing something you don't like and you want to control her to do things YOU want her to do and so she's resisting your controlling behavior.

You're being an asshole dude.
She should leave your ass.

Apparently you haven't even read my post and you just rushed to a conclusion using your all-powerful psychic abilities. Congrats. I don't appreciate being called an unworthy asshole either.

The purpose of my post was not to become a controlling guy having his personal sex toy/porn star to brag to the outside world, but to find a way to make the girl I love try on new things; things most young women wear. I didn't say I wanted to burn her entire wardrobe and put her on a leash, as some people might speculate. I thought that would be clear from the post.

@earmuffs, this settles it, I'm not going to debate it. You don't know me, I don't know you. I'll forget your remark and won't take offence, this time.



As for the talk. The problem is solved for now, I had a good talk with her. Thx for the (good) advice, it put some things in perspective and gave me the tools for a constructive approach. For me, the subject is closed, but if you want to continue with fashion bloopers and all unrelated to the OP, we can continue the thread.


Sincerely,

A lucky guy that doesn't have to hide his credit card from his wife Tongue

Now, 2 things.

First, earmuffs is an asshole, similar to me. We both sound like jerks most of the time, so do not get offended by it. The difference is that I know how to talk to new people that still don't know us here, but he simple doesn't care and he treats you like a long time friend. Like an asshole. That is normal, carry on.

Secondly, you simply MUST tell us how it all worked out. You can not ask us these things and then after we tell you our thoughts, leave us hanging here... Spit it out, we are curious, we want to gossip, we need to know. NOW!

Big Grin

Threads here tend to continue in very strange directions and they can continue to evolve ages after the OP stops posting, even leaves the forum.

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17-07-2013, 06:39 AM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
Well, I read the whole thing and if it was mentioned how old she is, I must have missed it. It makes a difference.

BUT

You automatically seem to assume that she dresses that way because she likes the look.

There are many reasons people dress the way they do.

You need to figure hers out, and chances are that she doesn't know herself and just knows that she is extremely uncomfortable dressed the way you like her to. Why is that?

One of the most common causes (statistically 40% of females) is sexual abuse at an early age (pre-school age), more often than not it isn't remembered. And if this is the case, you don't want her to remember it, if she doesn't then her brain is not able to process it (yet?) without major damage.

So, if it feels to you like she is dressing down, as in not dressing because she loves a look but because it has the effect of other males not being interested, then that is a very likely reason.

Or it could be a sense of not wanting to conform, of wanting to be different. If this year's fashion is green, yellow and short skirts, she'll be wearing blue, red and long skirts.

Or it could be a version of a distorted self image - similar to an anorexic thinking she is fat. If she always covers her legs, she may think they are ugly. They may be perfect, but she doesn't see them that way.

Or, it can simply be a matter of comfort. For many women, heels are not comfortable. (I am one of those). They make the feet or ankles or knees hurt in short order. They cause tripping. Likewise, tight waists may cause intestinal upset. She may have issues positioning her legs in a comfortable way when wearing very short skirts, and so on. Every body is different.

Once you figure out why, you can decide on a proper approach.

One thing is for sure, the more you nag and pester, the less success you will have.

So tread lightly. Instead of changing the way she wants to dress in general, design one special occasion ( a trip over the weekend to Vegas is a good thing for that), a very nice hotel and dinner at a top restaurant etc. Ask her to please wear something special just for that. Not spilling into daily life.

Go shopping for the trip with her. Make sure the outfit makes allowances for whatever the reason for her dressing down is. If heels make her hurt or insecure on her feet, find shoes that are a compromise between your taste and her feet. If she is uncomfortable attracting male attention, make sure the breasts are well covered. If she feels her legs or arms or whatever are not for public consumption, find something that allows for that. If tight clothes cause discomfort, find something that won't confine.

It will be a compromise, a step in your direction but preserving her autonomy. Then show her the time of her life, put your best foot forward and keep it there no matter what. The quality of that trip will be a foundation for you to SLOWLY build upon.

Once you are back home, don't complain about her clothes. Instead, plan something for some time in the future. Be patient.

Over time, you can negotiate for her to wear whatever pretty clothes are comfy for her just for specific events in your life. Eventually, you can have clothes for going out to eat, for going to do whatever things you guys do that's special.

You can't snap your finger and change something that is either a deeply ingrained psychological reason or a physical reason. You are bound to set yourself up for failure that way.

Find out what is acceptable, compromise. If you have been together that long, obviously there are lots of things that make you a good fit for each other. The things that are not a good fit need to be approached diplomatically and compromised on. You don't know why she may be feeling the way she does about clothes. You can't just make it go away, so negotiate, and do it slowly.

And quit nagging and making her feel bad about herself - feeling bad about herself may well be the reason she dresses down. So you may just be perpetuating things. Confine your attempts to compromise to special occasions. If she enjoys herself, each one will be a stepping stone towards what you like.

The goal is to have both of you happy.

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17-07-2013, 06:57 AM (This post was last modified: 17-07-2013 07:10 AM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 12:34 AM)Thammuz Wrote:  I just want her to try on some beautiful clothes so that she might see the difference and realize that she can be a babe without losing herself or having to wear something uncomfortable. I'm not saying she can't wear comfortable stuff at home, but when I go out with her, I want to be proud, as she represents my other half. I don't believe I'm being selfish in doing so.

Proud of what? You're not being selfish, you've gone beyond that and are now just being a dick. The fuck's wrong with you. Let her wear what she wants to wear or she's just gonna kick your sorry ass to the curb. Somebody try to tell me what to wear and my response is I'll see you in the dohyō in your fundoshi, bitch.

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As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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17-07-2013, 07:10 AM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(17-07-2013 06:57 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(16-07-2013 12:34 AM)Thammuz Wrote:  I just want her to try on some beautiful clothes so that she might see the difference and realize that she can be a babe without losing herself or having to wear something uncomfortable. I'm not saying she can't wear comfortable stuff at home, but when I go out with her, I want to be proud, as she represents my other half. I don't believe I'm being selfish in doing so.

Proud of what? You're not being selfish, you've gone beyond that and are now just being a dick. The fuck's wrong with you. Let her wear what she wants to wear or she's just gonna kick your sorry ass to the curb.

[Image: sakura.jpg]

Just to clarify the picture, this is not some random internet meme, this is GirlyMan in flesh. And skirt. With wig.

Big Grin

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17-07-2013, 07:20 AM (This post was last modified: 17-07-2013 07:23 AM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(17-07-2013 07:10 AM)Filox Wrote:  Just to clarify the picture, this is not some random internet meme, this is GirlyMan in flesh. And skirt. With wig.

My doppelgänger. Dude's like 6" taller and a hundred pounds heavier than me, but for all intent and purpose on this forum, yes that is GirlyMan. Big Grin

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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17-07-2013, 08:46 AM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
Dude, I really thought that was you. Holy twin batman!

I was dying thinking that was you lol.

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17-07-2013, 03:17 PM
RE: Fashion advice for my GF
(16-07-2013 11:28 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(16-07-2013 11:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Male Capri pants??? Oh that's a horrible look.



Male Capri pants. Yuck......just.....yuck. [Image: casual-pants-slim-casual-capris-male-knee.jpg]

Those male capri pants have got to go. And what's with the mules? If this is an attempt to lend social acceptability to crossdressing, it's not the way to do it.

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If doubt persists, have a hot fudge sundae.
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