Father Disowned Me Because I'm Still Atheist
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03-06-2014, 09:33 PM
RE: Father Disowned Me Because I'm Still Atheist
Honor your father? I equate that honor with respect - which must be earned and maintained. I tend to have issues with honoring a parent who is not capable of unconditional love.

You set boundaries...when you do that you have to understand that those boundaries might be crossed and that you must then defend those boundaries.

I would suggest stop interacting, at least for a while, and let emotions settle down on both sides. See where it goes from there.

I cut ties with my mother after years of trying to maintain a relationship with her that only caused me pain. I drew the line and asked her to never contact me again. It wasn't pleasant and I wish things were different...but they never will be unless I agree to be her whipping boy again. I wasted years of my life trying to have a relationship with her, I turned myself inside-out trying to make her like me, I was never so dense as to think she could actually love me (at least once I became an adult I gave that fantasy up).

It sucks but blood ties don't guarantee that a person is good for you.

I hope your situation turns out better than mine. Until then I suggest you take care of yourself. Arguing won't fix it. Letting yourself be treated like crap only creates resentment - that will come out somewhere in some fashion.

I think what you really need right now is time.

Good luck and I hope you and your father can one day reconcile.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. -JF
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04-06-2014, 09:22 AM
RE: Father Disowned Me Because I'm Still Atheist
Yep. You are an adult, Elconquistador. You don't need "approval" for anything about your life. And your Dad certainly refuses to approve of anything about your life so, meh... time to walk away.

Your Dad knows how to push your buttons - he directly provokes you. The only one you can control is YOU... and since you are able to walk away and he isn't... YOU can take charge of the entire situation. You taking YOU out of the situation may indeed alter his perspective somewhere down the line... that would be a positive thing for you both. Thumbsup

It's a tough decision and it will require hard work but you are strong, Elconquistador - and you are on the way to figuring out who you are. Honestly, it's the best thing I could wish for anyone. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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04-06-2014, 11:55 AM
RE: Father Disowned Me Because I'm Still Atheist
Based on the exchange you posted it look like both of you are being a bit bull headed. You are not going to change him and he is not going to change you. If the two of you want to have a functioning relationship, both of you need to get to a point that you either agree to disagree on the topic or agree to not discuss it. I hope you do not expect him to approve of you being an athiest, I do not see that happening.

Do not really have any advice on how to proceed, but suspect a cooling off period would be a good place to start.
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09-06-2014, 04:27 AM
RE: Father Disowned Me Because I'm Still Atheist
IMO you do not come off well in that exchange. I am of course reading from the outsider's perspective.

Cooling off seems like good advice.

As for the church? Fuck it. Just do not go back. Look forward and start anew.

I have always been an out atheist. But in Australia it has never been a problem. So I cannot really help. But I will say you need to compose yourself before writing a response to your dad. Seriously.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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