Father X instructs f stop
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05-02-2015, 01:48 AM
Father X instructs f stop
I've been wanting to share this for some time. It has an amusing twist at the end.

My wife is Roman Catholic. When we got engaged she told me that I would have to take lessons in Catholicism. Somewhat naively I assumed that I would just get a few briefings. On the appointed day my fiance and I drove down to the parsonage and I was introduced to Father X.

"What religion are you, young man?" -- "I was raised Methodist."

"Were you baptized?" -- "Yes."

"Do you attend church regularly?" -- "No."

"Why not?"

At this point my naivete was gone. This was not a briefing; it was a full blown conversion effort. A job interview. He was looking over my resume and I was coming up short. I looked over at my fiance. We had never discussed religion. For a second I considered putting on a theist face, but I knew it would not work. I wanted to spend the next 70 to 80 years with her and I knew I could not live a lie that long. I just blurted it out.

"I'm an agnostic."

That's what I considered myself back then. An honest #4 on the Dawkins scale.

"Why are you an agnostic?" -- "Because I don't think it's possible to prove the existence of God one way or the other."

"Oh, I think it is." -- "Ok."

I expected him to put forth some argument but he announced that the session was over and gave me a copy of Father Smith Instructs Jackson by John Francis Noll. Further sessions would be just he and I, without my fiance.

SESSION TWO

"Did you read the book?" -- "Yes."

"What did you think?" -- "I think Mr. Smith is not a critical thinker."

"What makes you say that?" -- "He never questions anything."

"He asks lots of questions." -- "Yes, he asks questions, but he never questions anything. There's a difference."

...

We were married. It's been a wonderful 45 years.

A couple of years ago the subject of my instruction by Father X came up. My wife gave me the big reveal.

"You never completed the course. You were supposed to have a lot more sessions than the two or three you attended. Father X gave up on you. He told me you were an incorrigible reprobate and advised me not to marry you."

Sapere aude
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05-02-2015, 02:22 AM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
Haha. You incorrigible reprobate. Corrupting innocent young Catholic girls Evil_monster

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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05-02-2015, 02:26 AM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
(05-02-2015 01:48 AM)f stop Wrote:  I've been wanting to share this for some time. It has an amusing twist at the end.

My wife is Roman Catholic. When we got engaged she told me that I would have to take lessons in Catholicism. Somewhat naively I assumed that I would just get a few briefings. On the appointed day my fiance and I drove down to the parsonage and I was introduced to Father X.

"What religion are you, young man?" -- "I was raised Methodist."

"Were you baptized?" -- "Yes."

"Do you attend church regularly?" -- "No."

"Why not?"

At this point my naivete was gone. This was not a briefing; it was a full blown conversion effort. A job interview. He was looking over my resume and I was coming up short. I looked over at my fiance. We had never discussed religion. For a second I considered putting on a theist face, but I knew it would not work. I wanted to spend the next 70 to 80 years with her and I knew I could not live a lie that long. I just blurted it out.

"I'm an agnostic."

That's what I considered myself back then. An honest #4 on the Dawkins scale.

"Why are you an agnostic?" -- "Because I don't think it's possible to prove the existence of God one way or the other."

"Oh, I think it is." -- "Ok."

I expected him to put forth some argument but he announced that the session was over and gave me a copy of Father Smith Instructs Jackson by John Francis Noll. Further sessions would be just he and I, without my fiance.

SESSION TWO

"Did you read the book?" -- "Yes."

"What did you think?" -- "I think Mr. Smith is not a critical thinker."

"What makes you say that?" -- "He never questions anything."

"He asks lots of questions." -- "Yes, he asks questions, but he never questions anything. There's a difference."

...

We were married. It's been a wonderful 45 years.

A couple of years ago the subject of my instruction by Father X came up. My wife gave me the big reveal.

"You never completed the course. You were supposed to have a lot more sessions than the two or three you attended. Father X gave up on you. He told me you were an incorrigible reprobate and advised me not to marry you."

Congratulations on your reprobate-ness and your happy marriage.

If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities.--Voltaire.

"To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." --Thomas Paine.
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05-02-2015, 02:30 AM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
(05-02-2015 01:48 AM)f stop Wrote:  I've been wanting to share this for some time. It has an amusing twist at the end.

My wife is Roman Catholic. When we got engaged she told me that I would have to take lessons in Catholicism. Somewhat naively I assumed that I would just get a few briefings. On the appointed day my fiance and I drove down to the parsonage and I was introduced to Father X.

"What religion are you, young man?" -- "I was raised Methodist."

"Were you baptized?" -- "Yes."

"Do you attend church regularly?" -- "No."

"Why not?"

At this point my naivete was gone. This was not a briefing; it was a full blown conversion effort. A job interview. He was looking over my resume and I was coming up short. I looked over at my fiance. We had never discussed religion. For a second I considered putting on a theist face, but I knew it would not work. I wanted to spend the next 70 to 80 years with her and I knew I could not live a lie that long. I just blurted it out.

"I'm an agnostic."

That's what I considered myself back then. An honest #4 on the Dawkins scale.

"Why are you an agnostic?" -- "Because I don't think it's possible to prove the existence of God one way or the other."

"Oh, I think it is." -- "Ok."

I expected him to put forth some argument but he announced that the session was over and gave me a copy of Father Smith Instructs Jackson by John Francis Noll. Further sessions would be just he and I, without my fiance.

SESSION TWO

"Did you read the book?" -- "Yes."

"What did you think?" -- "I think Mr. Smith is not a critical thinker."

"What makes you say that?" -- "He never questions anything."

"He asks lots of questions." -- "Yes, he asks questions, but he never questions anything. There's a difference."

...

We were married. It's been a wonderful 45 years.

A couple of years ago the subject of my instruction by Father X came up. My wife gave me the big reveal.

"You never completed the course. You were supposed to have a lot more sessions than the two or three you attended. Father X gave up on you. He told me you were an incorrigible reprobate and advised me not to marry you."

Guess you won that round, then.

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05-02-2015, 06:28 AM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
(05-02-2015 01:48 AM)f stop Wrote:  I've been wanting to share this for some time. It has an amusing twist at the end.

My wife is Roman Catholic. When we got engaged she told me that I would have to take lessons in Catholicism. Somewhat naively I assumed that I would just get a few briefings. On the appointed day my fiance and I drove down to the parsonage and I was introduced to Father X.

"What religion are you, young man?" -- "I was raised Methodist."

"Were you baptized?" -- "Yes."

"Do you attend church regularly?" -- "No."

"Why not?"

At this point my naivete was gone. This was not a briefing; it was a full blown conversion effort. A job interview. He was looking over my resume and I was coming up short. I looked over at my fiance. We had never discussed religion. For a second I considered putting on a theist face, but I knew it would not work. I wanted to spend the next 70 to 80 years with her and I knew I could not live a lie that long. I just blurted it out.

"I'm an agnostic."

That's what I considered myself back then. An honest #4 on the Dawkins scale.

"Why are you an agnostic?" -- "Because I don't think it's possible to prove the existence of God one way or the other."

"Oh, I think it is." -- "Ok."

I expected him to put forth some argument but he announced that the session was over and gave me a copy of Father Smith Instructs Jackson by John Francis Noll. Further sessions would be just he and I, without my fiance.

SESSION TWO

"Did you read the book?" -- "Yes."

"What did you think?" -- "I think Mr. Smith is not a critical thinker."

"What makes you say that?" -- "He never questions anything."

"He asks lots of questions." -- "Yes, he asks questions, but he never questions anything. There's a difference."

...

We were married. It's been a wonderful 45 years.

A couple of years ago the subject of my instruction by Father X came up. My wife gave me the big reveal.

"You never completed the course. You were supposed to have a lot more sessions than the two or three you attended. Father X gave up on you. He told me you were an incorrigible reprobate and advised me not to marry you."

Awesome, that makes me want to get a T-shirt with Incorrigible Reprobate like the Superman symbol on it.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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05-02-2015, 07:59 AM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
I bet your then fiance and long time wife is glad she made her own decision and didn't let those "Godly" people in her life make the judgement on who she loved and chose to be with.

My ex fiance was not so wise, and for that I'm glad. Dodged a bullet.
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05-02-2015, 08:03 AM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
Ha! You totally have to put "incorrigible reprobate" as your title in your forum profile.
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05-02-2015, 12:59 PM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
(05-02-2015 08:03 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  Ha! You totally have to put "incorrigible reprobate" as your title in your forum profile.


I think the YouTube channel is available.

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05-02-2015, 01:34 PM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
(05-02-2015 01:48 AM)f stop Wrote:  I've been wanting to share this for some time. It has an amusing twist at the end.

My wife is Roman Catholic. When we got engaged she told me that I would have to take lessons in Catholicism. Somewhat naively I assumed that I would just get a few briefings. On the appointed day my fiance and I drove down to the parsonage and I was introduced to Father X.

"What religion are you, young man?" -- "I was raised Methodist."

"Were you baptized?" -- "Yes."

"Do you attend church regularly?" -- "No."

"Why not?"

At this point my naivete was gone. This was not a briefing; it was a full blown conversion effort. A job interview. He was looking over my resume and I was coming up short. I looked over at my fiance. We had never discussed religion. For a second I considered putting on a theist face, but I knew it would not work. I wanted to spend the next 70 to 80 years with her and I knew I could not live a lie that long. I just blurted it out.

"I'm an agnostic."

That's what I considered myself back then. An honest #4 on the Dawkins scale.

"Why are you an agnostic?" -- "Because I don't think it's possible to prove the existence of God one way or the other."

"Oh, I think it is." -- "Ok."

I expected him to put forth some argument but he announced that the session was over and gave me a copy of Father Smith Instructs Jackson by John Francis Noll. Further sessions would be just he and I, without my fiance.

SESSION TWO

"Did you read the book?" -- "Yes."

"What did you think?" -- "I think Mr. Smith is not a critical thinker."

"What makes you say that?" -- "He never questions anything."

"He asks lots of questions." -- "Yes, he asks questions, but he never questions anything. There's a difference."

...

We were married. It's been a wonderful 45 years.

A couple of years ago the subject of my instruction by Father X came up. My wife gave me the big reveal.

"You never completed the course. You were supposed to have a lot more sessions than the two or three you attended. Father X gave up on you. He told me you were an incorrigible reprobate and advised me not to marry you."

I have that book!!!!!!!

When I questioned my catholic confirmation a nun gave it to me.

Congrats on an obvious long marriage and good for you both....


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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05-02-2015, 02:12 PM
RE: Father X instructs f stop
Father Smith Instructs Jackson?

Sounds a little kinky. GaspWink Big Grin

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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