Father just died
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13-02-2012, 02:24 PM (This post was last modified: 13-02-2012 03:53 PM by Observer.)
RE: Father just died
I hope you'll stick around here for a while.
Can I ad your tread to our "atheist grieving overview"?

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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13-02-2012, 03:52 PM
RE: Father just died
I'll pray for his soul to find peace.









On a serious note,i am sincerely sorry for your loss try not to take it too hard.

The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism.
-Karl Marx


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13-02-2012, 08:15 PM
RE: Father just died
Sorry for your loss.
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26-02-2012, 03:32 PM (This post was last modified: 26-02-2012 03:37 PM by Democritus74.)
RE: Father just died
(13-02-2012 02:24 PM)Observer Wrote:  I hope you'll stick around here for a while.
Can I ad your tread to our "atheist grieving overview"?

I don't mind at all. Sorry I haven't been back on in awhile just been evaluating where I'm at right now. I like this sight because of the people on here and part of a group that think like me.
(13-02-2012 12:12 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(12-02-2012 07:03 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Girly's already crying, is your eulogy too personal to share?

Maybe it would a cathartic moment or maybe too painful but I too would appreciate it if you'd like to share.

Cheers
DLJ
I don't think it's to personal and I think I have it saved to my notepad on my phone. I'm not a great writer and I wrote it on the spur of the moment about 5 hours before the service from staying up all night. But if I can work up the courage not to be embarrassed I will post it.
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26-02-2012, 06:26 PM
RE: Father just died
My dad died three years ago after an ugly battle with cancer. He had, in his later years, become Atheist and his wish was for there to be nothing in the way of a service. He wanted to be cremated with some ashes scattered in a couple different places.

We got together a couple days after his death at the American Legion hall he had frequented late in his life. We had snacks and paid for drinks for the guys that were so helpful to him his last couple of years. We sat around and listened to the stories of these people that we had only met as they came in and out steadily at the care facility his last two weeks. We set up a picture and I bought a book for people to sign from the funeral home that handled the cremation. We donated his durable medical supplies to that Legion for their lending closet.

Three months later we had a memorial gathering at the golf club dad spent so much time at in his hometown. He golfed there for years, was on the board of directors for a time, took over as greens keeper when they needed one and all three of us kids worked there when we were young. He spent many, many Sunday mornings there.

We put out pictures, I made some CDs of his favorite music, and we set out his flag as well as the book from the earlier gathering. His lady friend and her daughter spoke and I wrote the only speech of my life...I keep it in the book people signed. We talked to the people that he golfed and played cards with and then sprinkled some of his ashes on the course he helped maintain. We also scattered ashes at the farm where he grew up...the rest are at my sister's waiting for one of us to make a trip to the third place he wanted some ashes scattered.

My sister wasn't able to get up and speak as she sat quietly crying. My brother simply said that we were in dad's church...the golf club.

There was no God, there was no prayer. There were people sharing stories and laughing and lifting a glass in his honor.

He wanted nothing, period. I fought to have something for the people that knew him to be able to pay their respects. All in all, I think that while we didn't adhere strictly to his wishes, we did keep religion out and still did a respectable job of allowing people to say goodbye.

But we had time with the second one, the first was fast, and in a place we weren't familiar with so it probably wasn't as smooth, but it was okay and that's a good thing. I am sure you did an excellent job of honoring your dad.

And I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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26-02-2012, 06:32 PM
RE: Father just died
(26-02-2012 03:32 PM)Democritus74 Wrote:  I don't think it's to personal and I think I have it saved to my notepad on my phone. I'm not a great writer and I wrote it on the spur of the moment about 5 hours before the service from staying up all night.

Perfect.

(26-02-2012 03:32 PM)Democritus74 Wrote:  But if I can work up the courage not to be embarrassed I will post it.

Nothing to be embarrassed about here.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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29-02-2012, 08:35 AM
RE: Father just died
Ok this is my eulogy of my dad. It's not very formal buts it's what I could think of.
My Dad

I want to start  by saying thank you to everyone for the support that has been extended to me and my family. We truly do appreciate it. I decided to do this at the last minute late last night when I was alone looking at pictures of Dad and couldn’t fight back the tears from the pain of losing him. So forgive me if I stumble. I decided I wanted to talk about my Dad as the person that I loved and the man he was. So let’s talk about my Dad. To Dad family was very important. He loved family get togethers no matter what the occasion was because he loved the chance to be around his family. From the Sunday dinners at Mama and Papas when I was little to Holidays and Reunions recently. Any reason to gather with family made Dad happy. And if those get togethers had a topic up for debate he was all for a good argument. As long as you knew no matter what he was right and you were wrong. Dad was a great mechanic. If it had 4 wheels or 18 wheels he could fix it. He might have done it for a living but turning a wrench especially if it was a Chevy muscle car or hotrod it made him happy. Unless it was a Ford because Fords are junk and everyone knows that son. Dad was all about family but he also valued his friendships. Dad seem to know everyone. If he didn’t know them personally you could bet he knew someone related to them. He has so many friends because when needed he was the friend people knew they could call on and he would be there to help in any way he could. He was literally the person who would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He could be a grumpy and stubborn man but was really a big softy. He treated my wife Rebecca as a daughter and loved her as if she was his daughter. And I couldn’t have asked for a better grandpa for my boys. He love Tyler and Colton and was so proud to be their PaPa. So many of the best memories I have of Dad are of him with Tyler and Colton. You could just see him light up when Tyler and Colton were around him. I will miss his smile and laugh that come so easy to him being PaPa. My world has just become a lot smaller because I don’t have my dad. I would do anything if I had just one more day with him. One more day to tell him I loved him. This pain hurts so much and I just miss you dad I miss you so much and I love you.
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29-02-2012, 08:53 AM
RE: Father just died
Got me at this point--->
(29-02-2012 08:35 AM)Democritus74 Wrote:  So forgive me if I stumble.

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29-02-2012, 07:09 PM
RE: Father just died
Well said, I think you did a splendid job!

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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29-02-2012, 07:25 PM
RE: Father just died
(29-02-2012 08:53 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Got me at this point--->
(29-02-2012 08:35 AM)Democritus74 Wrote:  So forgive me if I stumble.

Yup, crying again. ... it was a moving tribute.

Thanks for sharing that Democritus, sincerely.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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