Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
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10-08-2014, 01:07 PM
Wink Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
Been rereading the bible my family got me. You know, spotting the contradictions, laughing at the science within it, the usual, and I realized something. If there wasn't so many people blindly following the book's every word so seriously, it would be a pretty cool piece of literature to show people. The stories within it might be bullshit, but that doesn't take away from them being interesting and worthwhile mythology. It's got magic, and fighting, and romance, and unicorns, and epic genocide by a badass dude in the sky. Kinda reminds me of all those ancient fairy tales and Greek myths we had heard about as kids. I guess I can say that even though I don't believe in any of the biblical stories, I still enjoy them as entertaining, shocking, and at times just funny stories.

So I want to ask you guys, what's your favorite story from the Christian bible? It can be New Testament, Old, famous as the genesis creation and flood to Jesus flipping tables out of rage to that one random naked guy in the new testament. You can love it for its value as an interesting story, or perhaps you find entertainment in how laughably ridiculous it is. Big Grin. You can even tell what your least favorite tale is.

As for me, I guess one of my favorites is the Noah and the Ark story. There's just SO much hilariously wrong with this logically and scientifically, but I'm sure we can argue this somewhere else. It's also a great story for pointing out the horrendous cruelty of the God of the older testament books. I still enjoy it as a fun story though, similar to how I enjoy the story of Jack and the beanstallk. They're both memorable tales I've had with me since childhood.

Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.

-Richard Dawkins
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10-08-2014, 01:11 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
I like the kids getting eaten by she-bears for making fun of a bald guy. Thats pretty great.
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10-08-2014, 01:15 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(10-08-2014 01:11 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I like the kids getting eaten by she-bears for making fun of a bald guy. Thats pretty great.

Oh yeah! That one was a bit of a shock to read at first. If you're a fan of pointless cruelty though, story of Job Thumbsup

Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.

-Richard Dawkins
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10-08-2014, 01:18 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(10-08-2014 01:15 PM)A Female Free of Faith Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 01:11 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I like the kids getting eaten by she-bears for making fun of a bald guy. Thats pretty great.

Oh yeah! That one was a bit of a shock to read at first. If you're a fan of pointless cruelty though, story of Job Thumbsup

Totally! Yay Job! Making people suffer for no reason is fantastic! Tongue
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10-08-2014, 01:27 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
Job. Man had some pertinent questions which the deity swept under the rug with a bunch of non-answers. Pretty sure that makes uncomfortable reading for most Christians.

Ecclesiastes - the author would have been an atheist in today's world IMO.

Ezekiel 1 is super spaced out. I like to think of it as ol' Eezy using the available understanding of the world that he had to describe encountering an alien space ship, but he coulda equally been tripping out on whatever drugs they had to hand back in the day. Or (null hypothesis) he was just some weirdo...

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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10-08-2014, 01:27 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednego.

"Respect my authorit-I. Worship my god."
"No"
"Then experience death by flaming torture"
"Screw you. We're not gonna burn!"
And they don't.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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10-08-2014, 01:29 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(10-08-2014 01:11 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I like the kids getting eaten by she-bears for making fun of a bald guy. Thats pretty great.

Damnit, you took my favorite story. I like it because my husband is bald, well almost bald.

The other stuff I like is the Song of Solomon sex poems.

I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock.

or

Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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10-08-2014, 01:31 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(10-08-2014 01:29 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 01:11 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I like the kids getting eaten by she-bears for making fun of a bald guy. Thats pretty great.

Damnit, you took my favorite story. I like it because my husband is bald, well almost bald.

The other stuff I like is the Song of Solomon sex poems.

I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock.

or

Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.

Oh that pornographic bible. Tsk tsk. No Laughat
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10-08-2014, 01:38 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
I like the part where Jesus dies. Goodbye motherfucker!

Paleoliberal • English Nationalist • Zionist • Rightist • Anti-Islam • Neoconservative • Republican • Linguistic Revivalist and Purist

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10-08-2014, 01:54 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(10-08-2014 01:38 PM)Res Publica Wrote:  I like the part where Jesus dies. Goodbye motherfucker!

XD and then three days later he comes back, kind of like a zombie! Except instead of wanting to eat your flesh, by symbolically wants you to eat HIS

Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.

-Richard Dawkins
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