Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
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11-08-2014, 08:10 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(11-08-2014 05:51 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Also, that one bit in Ezekiel 23:20...
-"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

XD I swear that belongs on a plaque or something!

Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.

-Richard Dawkins
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12-08-2014, 12:01 AM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
Bible story that I do actually like: The one about Jesus getting the adulterous woman off the hook by saying "if you're without sin, cast the first stone"... If people would fucking learn from that shit Christianity might be a much more pleasant religion... Instead they prefer some minor piece of shit verse from Leviticus about how shoving your pecker up some other guy's rear end is an abomination unto the being that created the universe. I mean, this guy is literally bigger than stars, and he cares that some ape descendant stuck it in the "wrong" hole. Facepalm

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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12-08-2014, 12:29 AM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
I want to change my answer; does the part where Jesus throws a hissy fit and kills another person's fig tree count as a story?

Popcorn I put more thought into fiction than theists put into reality.
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12-08-2014, 05:04 AM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(12-08-2014 12:29 AM)CleverUsername Wrote:  I want to change my answer; does the part where Jesus throws a hissy fit and kills another person's fig tree count as a story?

XD yes, and I find that one pretty amusing too

Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.

-Richard Dawkins
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12-08-2014, 08:09 AM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
My favorite is the one where Harry, Ron and Hermione defeat Jesus in a game of Boggle and save Hogwarts from having God bust up their shit.
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12-08-2014, 08:51 AM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
Sometimes at doctors offices, I will find a scrap piece of paper or business card and put this on it and stick it in the bible, "Malachi 2:3......Behold, I will corrupt your seed and spread DUNG on your faces".

Now of course that depends on the version. I got the stupid argument from someone "no no no the NIV says "refuse" not "dung".........ok trash or shit, it still has your hero threatening to rub human's faces in it like a dog peeing on a carpet.

Fair warning, I do not in any case physically destroy property I do not own. I simply put the nasty verses on a separate piece of paper and leave it inside.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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12-08-2014, 09:38 AM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
Exodus 33:15-23New International Version (NIV)

15 Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. 16 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

17 And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”

18 Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

19 And the Lord said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. 20 But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”

21 Then the Lord said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. 22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. 23 Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”

Atir aissom atir imon
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12-08-2014, 10:15 AM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(11-08-2014 08:11 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  Maybe those here that are more knowledgeable about this than I could comment, but it seems like a superfluous story, Samson accomplishes nothing. Here's a summary:

1. He's really strong and becomes famous.
2. He gets involved with women he shouldn't have.
3. He raises all kinds of hell and makes a lot of enemies due to his bad temper.
4. His enemies finally catch him and execute him.

Israel's and/or Judah's history would have been exactly the same without him. What purpose did this story serve being included in the bible?

Consider
A closer look at the end of Samson's life would reveal that the 'Lords of the Philistines' were among the ones who were crushed when Samson brought the temple down.

The 'Lords of the Philistines' would be Philistine Leaders, and so them dying all at once might have crippled the Philistines to a point where they wouldn't be able to harass Samson's people, Israel, for a looong time. Confused


Even if the story of Samson doesn't have historical significance, moral lessons can derived from it.
  1. Be careful who you trust.
  2. Be careful with your words.
  3. Watch your back.
  4. Don't marry a treacherous wife.
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12-08-2014, 02:35 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
(12-08-2014 10:15 AM)Spiky Wrote:  Even if the story of Samson doesn't have historical significance, moral lessons can derived from it.
  1. Be careful who you trust.
  2. Be careful with your words.
  3. Watch your back.
  4. Don't marry a treacherous wife.

* Don't be thick. I mean seriously. That boy was strong as a... strong person... and he still got shafted purely because he was suuuuuuuuuuuper dense. I mean, the chick tried to nail him like... 4 times in *exactly the same way* and he just didn't ever twig. So being strong but thick is not a viable evolutionary pathway...

Unless... I mean I guess you could fuck your way to survival. Samson shoulda done more fucking. Less war more love type of thing. Then his (fucken thick) genes might still be with us today.

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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12-08-2014, 03:54 PM
RE: Favorite Bible Story Anyone?
I like the interior design advice that is Exodus 26.
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