Feeling a bit low recently
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02-01-2018, 03:56 AM
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
My news years resolution has been to not go back on the meds for my anxiety issues, as I've been off them now for 3 months. But it looks like that might have to be a promise I have to break already.

I came off the meds back in September, after my Anxiety seemed to be getting worse. Whilst I still had good days/bad days, it was mostly bad days leading up to me having a minor meltdown on the weekend, before all starting again on the Monday. Once I got it all out of my system, I genuinely felt a lot better. At least less "robotic" as, in my experience, you feel less "yourself" when you're on this stuff. The only plus side was I could concentrate a lot more, when having a decent day/week. So feeling more like an actual person, I was happy for a bit. And then it started again.

Generally, I kept myself going with the idea of not going back on them before the end of the year, just to prove something to myself I think, but with the holiday season in full swing/my minor debts/work pressures and all sorts of other things kicking in, it's all proven a bit too much and the past few days in particular, I've really struggled to not completely lose it. So much so I had to leave the house for a a few hours recently, just to get away from the noise of my home/family, because it was making me very tense.

Work has been stressful, (no stressful than any other job I expect), but I'm finding it hard to concentrate due to all of this, and it's getting to me so much so, that I can't even read a book, which is something I enjoy doing a lot.

Some "incidents" have happened also, where people have gotten either in my face or expected me to do something by antagonizing me purposefully , and I've not done anything: A) because I'm not that kind of guy, but also B) because I'm genuinely terrified. Either way, these things add to my overthinking of things, because I'm the son of a "well respected man", who would happily beat the shit out of people [back in the day] and I kinda of feel like i'm not representing him/letting the family down, by proxy. Of course I know that's all bullshit, but it's there in my mind and I can't seem to drop it.

I realize now that I've just been hiding a lot of this stuff, from myself/my family, because I don't want to be this "robot" person again when back on the meds, but in all honesty, for now, it may be whats best for me and those around me. I think it may be time to throw in the towel and head to see a therapist also

I'm training for a 10K run, read about it in my blog :
Lost In Pace - A Running Blog
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02-01-2018, 04:21 AM
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
At work.

Hug

Heart

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02-01-2018, 06:18 AM
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
(02-01-2018 03:56 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  My news years resolution has been to not go back on the meds for my anxiety issues, as I've been off them now for 3 months. But it looks like that might have to be a promise I have to break already.

I came off the meds back in September, after my Anxiety seemed to be getting worse. Whilst I still had good days/bad days, it was mostly bad days leading up to me having a minor meltdown on the weekend, before all starting again on the Monday. Once I got it all out of my system, I genuinely felt a lot better. At least less "robotic" as, in my experience, you feel less "yourself" when you're on this stuff. The only plus side was I could concentrate a lot more, when having a decent day/week. So feeling more like an actual person, I was happy for a bit. And then it started again.

Generally, I kept myself going with the idea of not going back on them before the end of the year, just to prove something to myself I think, but with the holiday season in full swing/my minor debts/work pressures and all sorts of other things kicking in, it's all proven a bit too much and the past few days in particular, I've really struggled to not completely lose it. So much so I had to leave the house for a a few hours recently, just to get away from the noise of my home/family, because it was making me very tense.

Work has been stressful, (no stressful than any other job I expect), but I'm finding it hard to concentrate due to all of this, and it's getting to me so much so, that I can't even read a book, which is something I enjoy doing a lot.

Some "incidents" have happened also, where people have gotten either in my face or expected me to do something by antagonizing me purposefully , and I've not done anything: A) because I'm not that kind of guy, but also B) because I'm genuinely terrified. Either way, these things add to my overthinking of things, because I'm the son of a "well respected man", who would happily beat the shit out of people [back in the day] and I kinda of feel like i'm not representing him/letting the family down, by proxy. Of course I know that's all bullshit, but it's there in my mind and I can't seem to drop it.

I realize now that I've just been hiding a lot of this stuff, from myself/my family, because I don't want to be this "robot" person again when back on the meds, but in all honesty, for now, it may be whats best for me and those around me. I think it may be time to throw in the towel and head to see a therapist also

Hug

A therapist can be a great help for you to make more sense of your situation and decide whether to go back on meds, try to adjust for a better mix, or stay off and see what happens. Also, a few months off (especially in winter, which is depressing for a lot of people) might still not be enough time to know how your biochemistry's going to process things.

I hope you start to feel more stabilized soon, whatever strategy you take.
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02-01-2018, 06:24 AM
 
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
Hugs. I'm sorry you are having a hard time of it lately. I think going to see your therapist and possibly going back on meds sounds like a good idea. There's nothing wrong with getting help. That's not a weakness, that's a strength to realize you need some help.

Also not a weakness to stand down when people are antagonizing you. I think it takes much more strength not to completely lose your shit on someone who's antagonizing you and instead, be able maintain your composure. It's also better for your health and wellness not to go down the losing your shit on someone path. It only gets you heated, causes extra stress and tension for you, etc.

Don't beat yourself up for your body's responses to things. It has nothing to do with willpower.

As far as the meds making you feel like a robot, maybe check with your therapist to see if there are other meds your therapist can prescribe or different dosages that will make you feel less robotic. Sometimes it's just a matter of tweaking things. And maybe in the future, when things calm down more with work, family life, you can try the no meds route again but I think continuing to talk to a therapist may be helpful. Sometimes it's just a matter of talking things through with another person to get the anxiety and nerves out.

You're a strong person, you're going to be okay. You realized there's a problem and you're going to fix it. *hugs*
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02-01-2018, 06:40 AM
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
(02-01-2018 04:21 AM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  Hug Heart Thumbsup
Thank you peebothuhul!

(02-01-2018 06:18 AM)julep Wrote:  Hug

A therapist can be a great help for you to make more sense of your situation and decide whether to go back on meds, try to adjust for a better mix, or stay off and see what happens. Also, a few months off (especially in winter, which is depressing for a lot of people) might still not be enough time to know how your biochemistry's going to process things.

I hope you start to feel more stabilized soon, whatever strategy you take.
Cheers Julep, and yep I'm aware maybe it's not the best time of the year, which may/may not help. I can see a few things that are contributing to what's going on at the moment so hopefully speaking to somebody will sort it out.

(02-01-2018 06:24 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Hugs. I'm sorry you are having a hard time of it lately. I think going to see your therapist and possibly going back on meds sounds like a good idea. There's nothing wrong with getting help. That's not a weakness, that's a strength to realize you need some help.

Also not a weakness to stand down when people are antagonizing you. I think it takes much more strength not to completely lose your shit on someone who's antagonizing you and instead, be able maintain your composure. It's also better for your health and wellness not to go down the losing your shit on someone path. It only gets you heated, causes extra stress and tension for you, etc.

Don't beat yourself up for your body's responses to things. It has nothing to do with willpower.

As far as the meds making you feel like a robot, maybe check with your therapist to see if there are other meds your therapist can prescribe or different dosages that will make you feel less robotic. Sometimes it's just a matter of tweaking things. And maybe in the future, when things calm down more with work, family life, you can try the no meds route again but I think continuing to talk to a therapist may be helpful. Sometimes it's just a matter of talking things through with another person to get the anxiety and nerves out.

You're a strong person, you're going to be okay. You realized there's a problem and you're going to fix it. *hugs*

I know, nothing wrong with getting help at all, I was just hoping I was "done" with doing this to be honest. Think I'm in it for the long haul. And yep, I don't think fighting it cool or big or anything remotely like that. I've never been in a fight in my life, mainly because I don't believe it's the answer to anything. The flip side of that is, I feel a strong link to my family, and via my father who used to be well known for this sort of thing, "Looking after himself", so kinda feel like I'm letting the team down. One instance of this happening was when he was there, so I could see his face saying: "so when are you going to destroy this guy?", when I all I did was walk away. Don't get me wrong I know the answer is to walk away, but as you can imagine, it's hard work doing what you want to do and not what's "expected" of you. Like, am I my own man? or the son of a former drug dealer, who is well respected for beating the shit out of people? I understand that's total BS, to try to live up to something that's not 'who you are' but it's always in the back of my mind, that I'm 'X's Son' or ' X's lad', and a large portion of that community know me as such, so kind of expect me to act a certain way. Like if some guy he knows, kicks off on me and I do nothing about it, it looks bad on him as "X's son took a beating", if that makes sense. I've not been beaten up, ever I might add, but you get the idea.

I'll speak with the doctor, as I was originally told the medication I'm on, is the only real one I can be on, without venturing into mild sedatives, which isn't something I'd like to do. Therapy has been suggested before, but I didn't want to do that, as I felt I didn't need it....but might as well give it a go at this point.

Breathing techniques have kept me from not going completely over the edge at times, but it's getting to the point were that doesn't work any more.

I'm going to try and get in there today/tomorrow morning, and see what's what.

I'm training for a 10K run, read about it in my blog :
Lost In Pace - A Running Blog
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02-01-2018, 09:01 AM
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
Always remember, depression lies. It will look you straight in the face and lie to you.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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02-01-2018, 09:10 AM
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
Hey friend- hugs to you. Hug

I don't think it's silly at all. I'm glad that you're self-aware enough to see what's happening and take steps to keep it managed. You're a good guy, and I'd hate to see you suffer. Heart

If you ever need to talk or vent, feel free to PM me, buddy!
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02-01-2018, 09:21 AM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2018 09:52 AM by OakTree500.)
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
(02-01-2018 09:01 AM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Always remember, depression lies. It will look you straight in the face and lie to you.
Cheers duder! That's the thing that gets me the most. Thoughts/feelings about things I full on know are incorrect, yet there they are in my head. Meh, I'm just tired of it now.

(02-01-2018 09:10 AM)Emma Wrote:  Hey friend- hugs to you. Hug

I don't think it's silly at all. I'm glad that you're self-aware enough to see what's happening and take steps to keep it managed. You're a good guy, and I'd hate to see you suffer. Heart

If you ever need to talk or vent, feel free to PM me, buddy!
Thanks Emma, will do Smile

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Lost In Pace - A Running Blog
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02-01-2018, 10:21 AM
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
(02-01-2018 03:56 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  My news years resolution has been to not go back on the meds for my anxiety issues, as I've been off them now for 3 months. But it looks like that might have to be a promise I have to break already...

I've been taking medication to help with my GAD which I've suffered from for nearly 20 years now (along with depression and anhedonism).

I've never seen my anti-anxiety meds as any different from, say, someone taking Metformin for their diabetes, Irbesartan for their hypertension, or Spiriva for their asthma. Many folks have ongoing chronic conditions and take daily medications to offset/control/diminish their negative effects, both physically and mentally. And when it comes down to it, negative psychological events are caused by physical dysfunctions in the neurological pathways of the brain.

I agree with the other guys that consulting a therapist (not an MD) is your best initial course of action.

Another modality you might wanna try is CBT, (cognitive behaviour therapy) which has been proven extremely effective for individuals suffering from anxiety and depression.

I've found that over time I've come to regard my various meds as a simple, positive adjunct to a normal lifestyle, and that there shouldn't be any negative perceptions (including by others) or implied self-weakness or failure involved with therapeutic medications. Any social stigma is ignorant and unwarranted.

—Hang in there mate, and let's know how you're travelling. Thumbsup

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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02-01-2018, 10:39 AM
RE: Feeling a bit low recently
(02-01-2018 10:21 AM)SYZ Wrote:  I've been taking medication to help with my GAD which I've suffered from for nearly 20 years now (along with depression and anhedonism).

I've never seen my anti-anxiety meds as any different from, say, someone taking Metformin for their diabetes, Irbesartan for their hypertension, or Spiriva for their asthma. Many folks have ongoing chronic conditions and take daily medications to offset/control/diminish their negative effects, both physically and mentally. And when it comes down to it, negative psychological events are caused by physical dysfunctions in the neurological pathways of the brain.

I agree with the other guys that consulting a therapist (not an MD) is your best initial course of action.

Another modality you might wanna try is CBT, (cognitive behaviour therapy) which has been proven extremely effective for individuals suffering from anxiety and depression.

I've found that over time I've come to regard my various meds as a simple, positive adjunct to a normal lifestyle, and that there shouldn't be any negative perceptions (including by others) or implied self-weakness or failure involved with therapeutic medications. Any social stigma is ignorant and unwarranted.

—Hang in there mate, and let's know how you're travelling. Thumbsup

Cheers Syz! And yep, I agree with you, it's medication like I would take for everything else. I think I just have the expectation of "take it until you feel better, and then you're better" but I've been struggling with this (on/off meds) for about 3-4 years now, let alone the times I went through bad patches as a teen and didn't know what the problem was. I have a better handle on it these days, but times like this you kind of can't come up for air, and just totally shut down, if that makes sense.

I'm having trouble getting in touch with my doctor's (which people in the UK can probably relate to) but once I get through, I should be going either the same day or the next day, if I can get an appointment.

A friend of mine is having similar issues recently, (funnily enough a few of my friends are), and he started with therapy straight off the bat and said it's going well. I've tried to avoid it, mainly as I actually do have a lot of "baggage" in that department stemming from childhood stuff to more recent things, but felt I always managed it well, and was unrelated........but then again, it's probably all part of the same puzzle really.

Back when I first had this diagnosed, I was told it's partly to do with your brain working over stuff in the unconscious part, so if you have a lot on your plate, you're still mulling over this stuff, even when you don't fully know you are, and it leads to all sorts of crazy shit. In my case, I can't really sleep all that well, have been having panic attacks in my sleep and honestly feel like I'm about to have a heart attack AND a brain aneurysm at any moment, due to pains in both my head/chest areas, which only come on during "peak" moments of anxiety.

I think I just need to go to sleep...for about 7-8 years.

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Lost In Pace - A Running Blog
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