Feeling alone as an atheist....
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19-10-2015, 04:42 PM
Feeling alone as an atheist....
Hi all. New here. I decided to join for two reasons. One of which is that lately I have been feeling really alone as an atheist/agnostic. My best friend is Catholic and preaches 'mystery of faith' as her reason for believing, and that it's a good enough one. I don't think it is.

I have had people tell my I'm immoral or can't be as moral as a Christian, I've had multiple people tell me I'm going to hell. My friend tells me that I'm being offensive when I express my views on religion....at all. My extended family (thank god my parents are atheists too!) considers Christianity to be a quality of 'good' people.

I routinely now am feeling my self-worth is suffering because of the negative imagery attached to atheists. I feel like scum. I feel worthless. And I feel like being an atheist is the cause of it. I feel like I'm not being a good friend bc I don't agree with my friend's religion. It's like reason is a cancer I can't get rid of. It's to the point where I want to pose as a Christian or even become a theist so I can just dodge all this negativity I feel right now.

What do I do? How do I feel like being an atheist is okay? Any advice?

Thanks.
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19-10-2015, 04:45 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
Hug

Hello! Big Grin

I don't think I can offer much advice...

Though there are other great folks who are sure to drop a line and offer loads of advice and support. Smile

All I can offer is an interwebz shoulder to lean on.

Much cheers to you.
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19-10-2015, 04:55 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
I think it can be difficult when everyone--friends and family-still believe and you don't. It can create tension and hurt feelings on both sides. Unfortunately, it's something most of us deal with when we were raised in a religion we no longer adhere to.

If it's just a matter of not liking what they are saying about your atheism, while it sucks, it's church brainwashing that makes them do and say those things. If these religious friends make you feel bad about your atheism--maybe it's time to meet some non-religious friends.

On a side note, as an atheist, I still go to church on holidays to make my mom happy. You can still take part in religious traditions--even if you are not a believer. So if it's just a matter of wanting to feel included, you can still take part in family/friend things like that if you want to.
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19-10-2015, 07:51 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
This place is nice because the only people here who will tell you that you're going to hell or say you're not moral are jerks and trolls. They are called out and challenged for their stupidity here in ways that are hard in real life. I hope you enjoy your time here! You'll also find that you're not alone in feeling misunderstood by Christians. Just knowing that is helpful for me.

Regarding your friend, it's hard for you to accept her reasons for her faith, and it might be just as hard for her to accept your reasons for not believing. Sometimes it's better to just leave things be--if she can do the same for you--and enjoy the things you two like about each other. Eventually you may find a good balance of respecting and enjoying being with each other while still shaking your head at the crazy things each of you believes. (And with people who aren't close to you, the battle over theism may not be worth the effort. Except online, where you should feel free to drive the trolls back under their bridges.)
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19-10-2015, 08:14 PM (This post was last modified: 19-10-2015 08:27 PM by Banjo.)
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
(19-10-2015 04:42 PM)Homo Sapien Wrote:  I have had people tell my I'm immoral or can't be as moral as a Christian, I've had multiple people tell me I'm going to hell. My friend tells me that I'm being offensive when I express my views on religion....at all. My extended family (thank god my parents are atheists too!) considers Christianity to be a quality of 'good' people.


What do I do? How do I feel like being an atheist is okay? Any advice?

Thanks.

Yes. Tell them to fuck off.

Oh, and welcome. You are amongst friends here.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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19-10-2015, 08:17 PM (This post was last modified: 19-10-2015 08:42 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
(19-10-2015 04:42 PM)Homo Sapien Wrote:  Hi all. New here. I decided to join for two reasons. One of which is that lately I have been feeling really alone as an atheist/agnostic. My best friend is Catholic and preaches 'mystery of faith' as her reason for believing, and that it's a good enough one. I don't think it is.

I have had people tell my I'm immoral or can't be as moral as a Christian, I've had multiple people tell me I'm going to hell. My friend tells me that I'm being offensive when I express my views on religion....at all. My extended family (thank god my parents are atheists too!) considers Christianity to be a quality of 'good' people.

I routinely now am feeling my self-worth is suffering because of the negative imagery attached to atheists. I feel like scum. I feel worthless. And I feel like being an atheist is the cause of it. I feel like I'm not being a good friend bc I don't agree with my friend's religion. It's like reason is a cancer I can't get rid of. It's to the point where I want to pose as a Christian or even become a theist so I can just dodge all this negativity I feel right now.

What do I do? How do I feel like being an atheist is okay? Any advice?

Thanks.

If you had just one minute to breath and they granted your one final wish would you ask for something like another chance,





#sigh
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19-10-2015, 09:18 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
Hello, welcome to TTA, entrance is free, but you can't exit. Please ignore the vampires flying, they are just hungry and excited.

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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19-10-2015, 10:47 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
I consider the habit (I'd say need) Christians have of trying to shame and belittle people into following their way of thinking to be one of the surest signs they're dead wrong. Correct ideas do not need to ask, let alone coerce, you to accept them.

We know that morality is found in social animals, particularly among our nearest relatives, the chimpanzees and other primates. Clearly, it is not a god-based concept, despite all their propaganda to the contrary.

Consider their disdain to be a motivator to show that you are kind, and thoughtful, and decent. In time, they will be forced to wonder why it is that you are such a good person without their god. The ones who nevertheless continue to tell you that you're a bad person are projecting-- it is they who are the bad people; good people don't make others feel bad about themselves for trying their best. How moral can they be, if this is what they do to people? By trying to find a scapegoat (the basis of their religion, after all) on whom to assign the blame that is rightfully their own, they belittle you and make you feel like you are lesser. It's normal to feel that way, under such social pressure.

We're social apes, and a desire to be accepted is all but written across our genome. It is one of the great ironies that most of them think it is an insult to say we are apes, and yet they employ chimp-troop (tribal) social pressure-behavior as one of their primary tactics.

The fact that you are concerned for your friend's well-being, despite your ideological differences, tells me that you are a good-hearted person. Accept that about yourself. You will find a great sense of community here among us, who see free thought and skepticism not as a disease, but as the cure to the diseases of the mind. I grew up in a fundamentalist home, and I am glad of every day I have been free since abandoning that awful superstition.

Might I recommend you go down to your local library and check out, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan. That book did a lot to help me refine and enjoy my rationality, in part by realizing that these people live their entire lives in a world of illusionary magic and invisible "demons", terrified of knowledge that might destroy their illusions. We have no such fear.

I hope you enjoy being part of this community, and that we help you to feel less lonely. They have been a great help to me.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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19-10-2015, 11:09 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
(19-10-2015 04:42 PM)Homo Sapien Wrote:  ...
I feel like scum. I feel worthless.
...
It's like reason is a cancer
...

I've come to terms with being scum. I embrace it. And I'm good at it now.

It takes a while to find out why you have value / worth. You'll get there.

Do you notice how it looks like the sun moves around the earth?

It took millennia to do that mind-flip.

Another mind-flip ...
Reason is the cure ... religion is the cancer.

It might take a few millennia more to cure everyone but your parents made a good start.

Hug

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20-10-2015, 08:21 AM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
Sad that you feel the way you do and I also wonder about the value of so-called friends who react to you in the way you do.

I have many friends who are theists but I don't judge them in this way. Most are not stupid but simply misguided, however I don't try to de-convert them while at the same time they don't try to convert me.

It may be that I live in a more tolerant society than you but it boils down to respect. If you respect a person for what he/she is, even if you don't agree with their beliefs or lack thereof, surely you're a better person than someone who insults and belittles you because you simply don't believe in magic and an invisible man in the sky.

So you're better than they are. You're a rational, honest individual.

There are some very sane, rational, honest people in this forum too.

Stick around.
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