Feeling alone as an atheist....
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20-10-2015, 08:58 AM (This post was last modified: 20-10-2015 09:34 AM by Cosmic Discourse.)
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
You may feel as though you're alone, but there are probably numerous people you come in contact with daily, who are at the very least nonreligious. It can be quite trying to tolerate the bigotry and narrow mindedness of the sanctimonious.

All of us here struggle in different ways and to varying degrees. Online forums are great for a feeling of support, even if we're not face to face. Meetup groups in your local area are good for the in person sense of community.

As others have suggested, you may want to inform your friend of your wishes not to be condemned for your thoughts/feelings. If they can't be more accepting of your differences in opinion, and see past it for the sake of the friendship, it may be time to reevaluate your friendship. No company being kept is worth your sanity.

No one is allowed to take away your sanity or your understanding, without your consent. Though it's difficult, it's necessary to stand your ground on what your beliefs/principles may be. Truth be told, most religious individuals are frightened by the thought of the unknown, so they'd rather take solace in any answer received, then to put in the time forming conclusions of their own.

Take things a day at a time, and if need be, moment by moment. Welcome aboard, you're safe here!
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28-12-2015, 06:44 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
Hello everyone. I am brand new to this site (this is my first post) and am comforted to know there are people struggling like me. About two years ago, I became aware that over 90% of people the World over that consider themselves "religious," hold the same views as their parents. In other words, they have been indoctrinated. That did not sit well with me. During the past year, I have been in the trenches fighting an internal war wanting to be sure that MY theology is indeed MINE. I've read over thirty books both from charismatic Christians, scientists, and, of course, everything Seth Andrews has written that I could get my hands on. It has been a painful journey that has recently been completed.

In the process of this journey, I've become quite a science buff gaining major understanding of Cosmology, Geology, Physics, and Biology. In the end, I was undoubtedly led to the conclusion that I am indeed an Atheist. Overcoming years of indoctrination has been incredibly difficult.

Like many of you, for now I must remain in the closet. For me to share the freedom and truth I've discovered by this painful process of shedding my indoctrination and discovering the truth, a huge fracture in my family would result. I dearly love my wife but she remains a devout, conservative Christian. She is aware of my "journey" and has been supportive but was certain that my devotion to uncovering the truth would reinforce my belief in God. I truly do not have anyone to speak with who would not be judgmental. Believe me, I've tried.

Let me close with an insight: In every human endeavor, with the exception of religion, people search the facts, and come to conclusions. When it comes to religion, however, they start with the conclusions and, at time, make absolutely ludicrous logical leaps to make the facts fit. I did this myself for many years and I am well educated with a thriving career.

Finally, my favorite quote: "The truth, is the truth whether you believe it or not!" The flip side is also accurate: "Believing something, does NOT make it true." Search the facts, learn everyday, discover the joy of life with the understanding that life is very short.

I would appreciate any support that can be offered me from caring members of this site. Thank you for welcoming me to your community!
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28-12-2015, 07:11 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
Welcome Amazing! Thumbsup
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28-12-2015, 07:12 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
Welcome!

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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28-12-2015, 08:29 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
(19-10-2015 04:42 PM)Homo Sapien Wrote:  Hi all. New here. I decided to join for two reasons. One of which is that lately I have been feeling really alone as an atheist/agnostic. My best friend is Catholic and preaches 'mystery of faith' as her reason for believing, and that it's a good enough one. I don't think it is.

I have had people tell my I'm immoral or can't be as moral as a Christian, I've had multiple people tell me I'm going to hell. My friend tells me that I'm being offensive when I express my views on religion....at all. My extended family (thank god my parents are atheists too!) considers Christianity to be a quality of 'good' people.

I routinely now am feeling my self-worth is suffering because of the negative imagery attached to atheists. I feel like scum. I feel worthless. And I feel like being an atheist is the cause of it. I feel like I'm not being a good friend bc I don't agree with my friend's religion. It's like reason is a cancer I can't get rid of. It's to the point where I want to pose as a Christian or even become a theist so I can just dodge all this negativity I feel right now.

What do I do? How do I feel like being an atheist is okay? Any advice?

Thanks.

Welcome, I'm sorry you're struggling with living as an atheist in the open. I would tell you statistically 1 in 5 people you know are not believers either but most would be too afraid to admit it publically so that may not help much. I found 4 out of the 26 people, not including me, in my workplace openly admitted to atheism to me and I live in "jebus hall, Oklahoma". I was amazed, to say the least.

You are having a crisis of support. It's pretty normal but there are ways to combat it. You've done one already, you sought out support here. You might also want to seek secular counseling. Also, you could check out MeetUp.com for local atheist or humanist groups that you could find new secular friends and support.

Your problem is not that you don't believe in myths, your problem is your friends are afraid and you are not afraid with them. People fear what they don't understand or what they might be wrong about. Stay strong, find support and know that you really are not alone, none of us are. Smile

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15-01-2016, 07:32 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
I was a Christian for 40 years. Did all the usual protestant stuff and raised my children in the church. Most of my friends were fine and nice but I never felt I could really talk to them about deep thoughts. Doubts or questions. I would be seen as lacking in faith or "struggling". I would be scary to them. It was a nice life really. (except for the ex husband misogyny thing). BUT when I finally left the church.... I, only then, learned to care about other people. To see other people as humans beings like me. They were no longer a project to fix or save. They weren't valued or judged on whether they read their bible every day or went to the women's conference or raised their kids right. While still a theist, I would say that I had to leave the church to finally learn what grace and mercy meant. I am so happy and so free. I am so sad to think of my years that I deluded myself and my kids. I am so sorry your self esteem is suffering. Do not listen to the words of people who only feel worth because an invisible dictator says they are ok if they do what he says. That's ridiculous. Embrace the freedom to think and be whoever you are. Know that you really are not as alone as you may think. If I'd know someone who talked to my about atheism sooner...even with my background of "good little submissive protestant church goer", I would probably have soaked it in. Hang in!

Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
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15-01-2016, 07:51 PM
RE: Feeling alone as an atheist....
(19-10-2015 04:42 PM)Homo Sapien Wrote:  Hi all. New here. I decided to join for two reasons. One of which is that lately I have been feeling really alone as an atheist/agnostic. My best friend is Catholic and preaches 'mystery of faith' as her reason for believing, and that it's a good enough one. I don't think it is.

I have had people tell my I'm immoral or can't be as moral as a Christian, I've had multiple people tell me I'm going to hell. My friend tells me that I'm being offensive when I express my views on religion....at all. My extended family (thank god my parents are atheists too!) considers Christianity to be a quality of 'good' people.

I routinely now am feeling my self-worth is suffering because of the negative imagery attached to atheists. I feel like scum. I feel worthless. And I feel like being an atheist is the cause of it. I feel like I'm not being a good friend bc I don't agree with my friend's religion. It's like reason is a cancer I can't get rid of. It's to the point where I want to pose as a Christian or even become a theist so I can just dodge all this negativity I feel right now.

What do I do? How do I feel like being an atheist is okay? Any advice?

Thanks.

Reason is not the cancer, religion is. It's an infectious disease spread from one carrier to another unless you're reason vaccinated from it's ill effects. They are unfairly pressuring you to comply with their delusion in order to make themselves feel good, feel just and seem right. They cannot function with doubt and anyone in their sphere that is not in compliance is a threat that must be brought to heel or cut out. If they are acting like this and are not respecting you be prepare to be cut out.

It's hard not being the sheep in the meadow where sheep are kept. Being atheist is not easy. You will eventually have to decide, "is my non-belief as important to me as their belief is to them"? I say, yes. Respect is what it is about and it's a test of true love and friendship. If they cut you out or you have to cut them loose then the relationship is false and it was only based on your ability to conform. Who needs that crap.

I'm sorry you're going through this but it does happen a lot. If you want to hold strong I recommend you find some like minded friends in a secular or atheist group near you. You need support. Meetup.com is world wide and has a variety of groups that might be found in your area. It's also free.

Be well and welcome!

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