Feeling extra alone
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19-05-2016, 07:20 PM
RE: Feeling extra alone
(19-05-2016 07:17 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(19-05-2016 07:14 PM)skyking Wrote:  DlJ, I think she did. I felt nudged Big Grin

From one random connection to another... I felt nudged too.

Wink

Wait what? Lol
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19-05-2016, 07:24 PM
RE: Feeling extra alone
(19-05-2016 07:13 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I've gone through a lot of this....so much so that I more or less stopped expecting anybody to go out of their way to contact me. Without the expectation, I don't get sad. It might not be the happiest solution, but it works for me. I figure everybody has their life going on, and I can't expect to be the first thing on their minds.

Anyways, sorry you feel lonely, I know it sucks. Just be happy you have your boyfriend, and don't feel bad reaching out if it makes you happy keeping in contact.

I'm always the one to call, always the one to visit. If I didn't make the effort no one else would. So I guess in a way it makes me happy to reach out but at the same time sad that they dont
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19-05-2016, 07:37 PM
RE: Feeling extra alone
(19-05-2016 07:00 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  I have been in training for 4 days. Tomorrow is my last and I go home. I have had zero texts from my family and zero calls. I am 5 hours from home. It doesn't seem like a lot but I'm here all alone. The only person I've really talked to is my boyfriend.. I think that's because he knows I'll say something for he doesn't message me.
It's just weird.. Everyone was all "let us know every couple of towns where and how you are" once they knew I was here that was it. My dads the kind to get mad if you don't call him. If I mention my little sister he's all "who's she again?" Because she doesn't call or come around.. But he doesn't call me. I've called to check on him during tornado weather and storms to make sure he's ok ok the road but here I sit in a no where town with no one I know without a single missed call or text. My mom hasn't answered my calls since Monday or even face booked me.. My sister just asked if I would help her move Wednesday when I called her. I spend most of my time out of training sitting at the side of the hotel watching the Alabama music hall of fame lights blink on and off. It just bothers me that no one has checked on me. With the exception of two people.. Brandon and my friend on here. I guess that's better than nothing?

Maybe part of what's going on is that they don't know what kind of free time you are going to have and they assume you're really busy? And there could be some problems going on back home that are taking extra time. It may be they were more worried about your trip than what you'd do when you got there, because they're confident you'll do well.

My husband has been in France all week on a business trip, and with the time difference and home craziness we didn't communicate at all for a couple of days, even though I've thought about him plenty. Because I don't know what his schedule is, I usually let him call me unless there's an emergency or if we've set aside a time to talk.

If they don't call, at least you'll have lots to tell them when you get back.
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19-05-2016, 07:59 PM
RE: Feeling extra alone
(19-05-2016 07:24 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  
(19-05-2016 07:13 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I've gone through a lot of this....so much so that I more or less stopped expecting anybody to go out of their way to contact me. Without the expectation, I don't get sad. It might not be the happiest solution, but it works for me. I figure everybody has their life going on, and I can't expect to be the first thing on their minds.

Anyways, sorry you feel lonely, I know it sucks. Just be happy you have your boyfriend, and don't feel bad reaching out if it makes you happy keeping in contact.

I'm always the one to call, always the one to visit. If I didn't make the effort no one else would. So I guess in a way it makes me happy to reach out but at the same time sad that they dont
I totally understand. Me (and my fiance) have both gone through similar things with friends. I've really just come to terms with it, I can't give much better advice. I reach out to friends and try to see each of them every month or so. I rarely get the same treatment back. But you know what, I'm happy that they still enjoy spending time with me. So that's enough, for me.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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20-05-2016, 06:45 AM
RE: Feeling extra alone
I leave today after a few hours of training. Maybe my mood will straighten up once I get back home. Thanks everyone
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20-05-2016, 09:39 AM
RE: Feeling extra alone
Hug Hug Hug

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Wishing you all the very best.
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20-05-2016, 09:57 AM (This post was last modified: 20-05-2016 10:04 AM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: Feeling extra alone
(19-05-2016 07:24 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  I'm always the one to call, always the one to visit. If I didn't make the effort no one else would. So I guess in a way it makes me happy to reach out but at the same time sad that they dont

I hear you, I get that treatment sometimes and it makes me wonder what I mean to those people.

One thing I've worked at over the last six months is finding my happiness inside myself, rather than assigning it to someone. I reckon if I do things that make me happy, that will show, and will attract people. It seems to be working for me, albeit slowly due to my living out in the country.

I'm happier because I'm not making my happiness contingent on someone else's behavior (which is something I cannot control). I can control my own activities and feelings and find my happiness getting involved in a project, or playing my guitar, or writing. Succeeding at these things makes me happy.
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20-05-2016, 11:32 AM
RE: Feeling extra alone
Hug
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20-05-2016, 03:01 PM
RE: Feeling extra alone
(19-05-2016 07:24 PM)Jewelarcher Wrote:  I'm always the one to call, always the one to visit. If I didn't make the effort no one else would. So I guess in a way it makes me happy to reach out but at the same time sad that they dont

Have you told them how much this bothers you? If you haven't then they might not have clued in to the fact that they aren't keeping in touch.

There's always going to be differences in how much people feel the need to stay connected. Usually this balances out prety well but sometimes people just need a kick in the pants.

Sorry you've been feeling lonely. Hopefully it gets better soon.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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20-05-2016, 03:17 PM
RE: Feeling extra alone
I used to experience the same when I traveled for business a week at a time. My (soon to be ex) wife is a big-time introvert. Sometimes I wonder if she even notices whether or not I come home on a given evening.

Anywho, being the one to always initiate contact is draining and always made me feel like I was not important to people. I neeeeeeed human contact, even if it is a quick text message to say "Hey, hope your trip is going good" or something.

Here is something that worked for me... When I travel alone, I try to make friends with someone (anyone, it makes no difference who) at the conference on the first day. I invite them to go with me for drink that evening. Then, I end every casual conversation with anyone else I meet during the day with "Hey, me and a friend are going out for a drink later. Why don't you join us?" By the end of the week I have usually made several new friends, even if I never actually talk to them again. There have been some evenings where we ended up with more than a dozen people all gathering at a bar or something and we have a blast. It helps make the evening go by soooo much quicker and feel much less lonely. It doesn't require great social skills, just a willingness to ask. And if you have a stock phrase that you can use at the end of every conversation, it is easy. Most people at training classes and conferences are just as lonely as you are and are happy to accept an invitation.

Not sure if this is something that would work for you, but it has made my travels much more bearable. Good luck!

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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