Feeling lonely on my birthday
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29-09-2013, 10:21 AM
Feeling lonely on my birthday
Not so many years ago it was my custom to spend an afternoon with friends at a pizza place for my birthday. People would bring gifts but that wasn't important - what I really wanted was for my friends to hang out with me and in doing so make me feel special for this one day out of the year. These last few years it feels as though I'm putting them out to ask them to come have pizza with me (somehow the idea of having basically a pizza party feels juvenile, though it's not as if we have party favours or play 'Musical Chairs'). The last two years I haven't asked them to come out for pizza and as a consequence virtually nothing happens on my birthday. This year I've gotten a few 'happy birthday!'s on social media sites (which I don't use much) and via the Internet, but nothing more. It makes me feel lonely and unappreciated, and especially, very non-special.

Once I had a friend who loves to organise parties for people. Sadly that person couldn't handle the fact I don't believe in god and has also revealed herself to be a condescending person, among other things. I'm not willing to be around her and fake that I still like her - we have very little contact any more. So now I, with my extremely small base of friends, am left alone, save for my father, who's awesome, on the one day of the year I think I deserve to feel at least a bit special.

Am I being selfish or childish feeling sorry for myself? Is it as sad or stupid as I think it is for me to have to arrange my own whatever I want for my birthday? Who buys their own birthday cake (should I want one) anyway? Next year is 42, and anyone who's read Hitchhiker's Guide knows that's a special number. How great it would be to have some kind of Hitchhiker's themed gathering, even if it's to have a cake with the logo and/or ask folks to ... I dunno, do something Hitchhiker-y. And yes, most of my current friends know Hitchhiker's. Smile But I feel like an idiot - like I'm organising a party for an eight year old, but it's for me.

What do you guys think?

"The amazing thing is that every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. ... So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today." -- Lawrence Krauss
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29-09-2013, 10:27 AM
RE: Feeling lonely on my birthday
You're not selfish or childish.

Get new friends. It shouldn't hurt them to go out to dinner with one of their good friends. Okay, that's probably a little much. At least try a new celebration tactic. It doesn't always have to be pizza, even though that's birthday tradition. Hit a buffet, cook up something big at home, go to the movie theater with some friends. Smile

I'm 17 and my family doesn't really celebrate birthdays, so I can understand your loneliness. I haven't gotten a birthday cake in years. Usually my mom asks me what I want and gives me some money for it, but there are no gatherings what-so-ever.
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29-09-2013, 10:30 AM
RE: Feeling lonely on my birthday
It hurts, it feels like you are being forgotten. It's worse when you don't forget others.

My last birthday I got three cards, two of those from my boss. But I still made it to another birthday and that's good.

Lick your wounds for a moment and carry on. Plan something special for next year...and if you want cake, damnit have cake! Big Grin

And happy birthday! And many more! Banana_zorro Banana_zorro

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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29-09-2013, 10:45 AM
RE: Feeling lonely on my birthday
Not childish to feel that way.

Here's something for next year.

[Image: the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy1.jpg]
or
[Image: whalecake-copy.jpg]
or
[Image: 5659040592_4928cf815f_z.jpg]

And happy birthday CBO.

Hug

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29-09-2013, 11:11 AM
RE: Feeling lonely on my birthday
Thanks for your responses and well-wishes, guys. Doing the pizza place thing is just a familiar and comfortable thing for me, so I tend to favour that option. That and new situations stress the heck outta me. Smile Anjele, that's a great point I hadn't really thought of: 'it feels like you are being forgotten'. And thanks, DLJ, for the Hitchhiker's cakes - they're cool. Smile

"The amazing thing is that every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. ... So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today." -- Lawrence Krauss
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29-09-2013, 11:24 AM
RE: Feeling lonely on my birthday
It does suck feeling that way, i know. I wonder if maybe your friends aren't sure of what you'd like to do, so they assume a quick "happy birthday" will suffice, and that maybe there are others in your life planning something special.

There is no shame in asking your friends to get together with you at a local pizza parlor for a few birthday slices and some laughs! If you don't tell them what you want how will you get it? If on the other hand, when you ask this, they actually do act put out, then shame on them. I might also suggest finding some new friends.

Throw yourself that hitchhikers party, send out the invites, and have a wonderful time. Once you get people there they will be happy to celebrate with you I'm sure.

I really hope you start to feel better on your birthday, *big hug*!!!
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30-09-2013, 10:28 AM
RE: Feeling lonely on my birthday
(29-09-2013 10:21 AM)calmblueocean Wrote:  Not so many years ago it was my custom to spend an afternoon with friends at a pizza place for my birthday. People would bring gifts but that wasn't important - what I really wanted was for my friends to hang out with me and in doing so make me feel special for this one day out of the year. These last few years it feels as though I'm putting them out to ask them to come have pizza with me (somehow the idea of having basically a pizza party feels juvenile, though it's not as if we have party favours or play 'Musical Chairs'). The last two years I haven't asked them to come out for pizza and as a consequence virtually nothing happens on my birthday. This year I've gotten a few 'happy birthday!'s on social media sites (which I don't use much) and via the Internet, but nothing more. It makes me feel lonely and unappreciated, and especially, very non-special.

Once I had a friend who loves to organise parties for people. Sadly that person couldn't handle the fact I don't believe in god and has also revealed herself to be a condescending person, among other things. I'm not willing to be around her and fake that I still like her - we have very little contact any more. So now I, with my extremely small base of friends, am left alone, save for my father, who's awesome, on the one day of the year I think I deserve to feel at least a bit special.

Am I being selfish or childish feeling sorry for myself? Is it as sad or stupid as I think it is for me to have to arrange my own whatever I want for my birthday? Who buys their own birthday cake (should I want one) anyway? Next year is 42, and anyone who's read Hitchhiker's Guide knows that's a special number. How great it would be to have some kind of Hitchhiker's themed gathering, even if it's to have a cake with the logo and/or ask folks to ... I dunno, do something Hitchhiker-y. And yes, most of my current friends know Hitchhiker's. Smile But I feel like an idiot - like I'm organising a party for an eight year old, but it's for me.

What do you guys think?



I know exactly how this feels. I guess over time I changed how I feel about my birthday.

I lost almost every friend I have over the last 15 years. My parents warned me about it to when I was 10 years old.

We get older get more involved in our own lives and yadda yadda everyone disappears.

I spent two years on facebook trying to connect with and stay connected with my so called friends. I deleted it after two years of almost no one responding to me except for crazy old friends who want me to go to church with them. Yeah I passed.

I love my wife she is a great friend the best one. I would just like another friend I guess other than one. At least one who will return a call or message within a month...just one...


feel better. If you make yourself your best friend I know for me I felt a lot less alone at that point. I learned to love myself more in the absence of anyone else to do it for me. I became a better person. I would just like more real friendly interaction with other human beings.
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30-09-2013, 11:12 AM
RE: Feeling lonely on my birthday
I know the feeling. I get a hug, 100 bucks and a cake,for the rest its a normal day. Anyway, a late happy birthday!!!!

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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30-09-2013, 11:32 AM
Sad RE: Feeling lonely on my birthday
(29-09-2013 10:21 AM)calmblueocean Wrote:  Not so many years ago it was my custom to spend an afternoon with friends at a pizza place for my birthday. People would bring gifts but that wasn't important - what I really wanted was for my friends to hang out with me and in doing so make me feel special for this one day out of the year. These last few years it feels as though I'm putting them out to ask them to come have pizza with me (somehow the idea of having basically a pizza party feels juvenile, though it's not as if we have party favours or play 'Musical Chairs'). The last two years I haven't asked them to come out for pizza and as a consequence virtually nothing happens on my birthday. This year I've gotten a few 'happy birthday!'s on social media sites (which I don't use much) and via the Internet, but nothing more. It makes me feel lonely and unappreciated, and especially, very non-special.

Once I had a friend who loves to organise parties for people. Sadly that person couldn't handle the fact I don't believe in god and has also revealed herself to be a condescending person, among other things. I'm not willing to be around her and fake that I still like her - we have very little contact any more. So now I, with my extremely small base of friends, am left alone, save for my father, who's awesome, on the one day of the year I think I deserve to feel at least a bit special.

Am I being selfish or childish feeling sorry for myself? Is it as sad or stupid as I think it is for me to have to arrange my own whatever I want for my birthday? Who buys their own birthday cake (should I want one) anyway? Next year is 42, and anyone who's read Hitchhiker's Guide knows that's a special number. How great it would be to have some kind of Hitchhiker's themed gathering, even if it's to have a cake with the logo and/or ask folks to ... I dunno, do something Hitchhiker-y. And yes, most of my current friends know Hitchhiker's. Smile But I feel like an idiot - like I'm organising a party for an eight year old, but it's for me.

What do you guys think?

Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to (calmblueocean),
Happy Birthday to YOUUUUU!! http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...a/clap.gif
You're not being selfish.

"A man should look for what is, and not he thinks should be"
Albert Einstein
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