Feeling really under the weather
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01-06-2014, 01:23 AM
Feeling really under the weather
I don't really know if I'm seeking advice, maybe comfort, but I really just need to vent and get some things off of my chest.

I've never been good with change or losing people throughout my life; and when I say losing people, I don't mean people dying, but people moving on and walking out of my life. I've had very few friend groups over the years, and each time the group dispersed and things fell apart and we all went out separate ways, I took it harder and harder.

Recently, I found a small group of people and things were perfect. There were four of us, and the pairs within the group began dating. We were making some of the best memories and having some of the best moments I've ever had with a group of people that close. But lots of deceit and betrayal appeared, and now I am completely alone. I was informed my boyfriend lied and used me, the person I trusted most out of the group just stood by and knowingly allowed everything to take place, and I don't think the last friend even really gives a fuck.

I don't think any of them give a shit but me, and now I sit here alone, empty, depressed. I don't even know how to describe how I feel. Worthless, used, stupid. I been crying for days. I don't have an appetite for anything. I can hardly function.

I just wanted to get that out of my head.
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01-06-2014, 01:26 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
Sadcryface I'm sorry. No

*snuggles*

A person very dear to me was badly hurt through a misunderstanding and miscommunication. For this, I am sorry, and he knows it. That said, any blaming me for malicious intent is for the birds. I will not wear some scarlet letter, I will not be anybody's whipping girl, and I will not lurk in silence.
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01-06-2014, 02:27 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
Good! Now keep it out of your head! Hug
You're too good for those stupid bitches, anyway! Thumbsup

Plenty of good people out there to make friends with! Make friendships on an individual basis, too, since there could be assholes out there that realized your friend was a good one, like you did, but are no where near as cool as you Cool

Ferdi: "Wait... you don't like my friends?" Sadcryface
Guley: "No! They're assholes! But you're still cool as a cucumber!" Yes
Ferdi: "What the fuck does that mean?" Blink
Guley: "Means your The Shit!" Dodgy
Ferdi: "Really" Gasp
Guley: "DUHH" Rolleyes

Hug

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01-06-2014, 03:09 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
Hug
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01-06-2014, 07:36 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
Sorry you are hurting. I think people mature at different speeds. Some people learn at a young age that each small betrayal leads to what you are feeling. Some people don't learn until they are hurt by others, like you are.

In the long run, it helps you to be choosier about friends. You learn to recognize "fake" friends faster.


It sucks and it hurts but at the same time I don't think it's uncommon for your age group. It's part of growing up and figuring out who to trust and determining who a decent person is. As a child your parents and teachers guided you and peers to do the right things, but now you and your peers have to navigate that alone. Some figure it out, some don't until they get burned and sadly, you will meet people who will always act in a betraying fashion into their old age.

Hug


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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01-06-2014, 07:58 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
Also find something to keep your mind and body occupied while you work thru the emotions.

I have found that painting a room works wonders. By the time you are finished your brain has worked it thru and you have changed your world (and your mindset) noticeably and it's easier to move on.

You just started a new chapter in your life, paint your bedroom, rearrange your furniture.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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01-06-2014, 08:04 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
:hugs: sorry you got hurt ferdi.

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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01-06-2014, 08:10 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
(01-06-2014 01:23 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  I don't really know if I'm seeking advice, maybe comfort, but I really just need to vent and get some things off of my chest.

I've never been good with change or losing people throughout my life; and when I say losing people, I don't mean people dying, but people moving on and walking out of my life. I've had very few friend groups over the years, and each time the group dispersed and things fell apart and we all went out separate ways, I took it harder and harder.

Recently, I found a small group of people and things were perfect. There were four of us, and the pairs within the group began dating. We were making some of the best memories and having some of the best moments I've ever had with a group of people that close. But lots of deceit and betrayal appeared, and now I am completely alone. I was informed my boyfriend lied and used me, the person I trusted most out of the group just stood by and knowingly allowed everything to take place, and I don't think the last friend even really gives a fuck.

I don't think any of them give a shit but me, and now I sit here alone, empty, depressed. I don't even know how to describe how I feel. Worthless, used, stupid. I been crying for days. I don't have an appetite for anything. I can hardly function.

I just wanted to get that out of my head.

By now, you are no doubt aware that there is no easy or "short cut" way to get over this.
Stay busy, and trudge onward. If you live a long time, you'll run into this again; perhaps many times. Learn from it....and go forward.

"People don't go to heaven when they die; they're taken to a special room and burned!" Evil_monster
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01-06-2014, 09:32 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
Sorry you have to go through this Ferdi! Hug

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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01-06-2014, 09:42 AM
RE: Feeling really under the weather
People tend to move in and out of our lives. The ones that are true and worth something will stay, the other fall off naturally and you will be better for that.

Looking back over my life I have to say that the last year of HS and the summer following it was one of the biggest transitions I went through. The routine is now gone that you have been part of since you were 4 or 5. People start moving into the next phase of their lives and sometimes that means a huge change in the people they associate with. I think it's pretty natural.

As an observation - you seem to get with a group of people and you commit to them expecting them to also commit to you. An unfortunate truth is that is not always the case.

I suppose the best thing is to rely on, and trust, yourself and not put so much 'faith' in the new people that come into your circle. Have fun, enjoy yourself, but realize that those people may or may not stick around.

It sucks, and it hurts, and did I say it sucks? During all of this you are learning how to read people better. Considering where you are...I would venture to guess that you are in a different place mentally than a lot of the people your age.

It's going to work out...drama and bullshit are draining for some of us while others seem to thrive on it.

You are going to be okay Ferdi...get things in order for college and get ready to leave the nest. Heart

( Too many have been pooping in that nest anyway...time to go build your own.)

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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