Feeling so alone today...
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29-06-2015, 03:07 PM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
(26-06-2015 05:50 PM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  I hope this is the right place to be posting this, but I feel so alone today. I have 1 person (just ONE) that knows what I do (and don't) believe, and that is my sister. But she lives a 2 hour drive away. Pretty much everyone else, a few friends, family members are conservative Christians.

I already feel like I am the definition of a "failure" to my whole family. I'm a single mom, I am in full support of my sister who came out lesbian a few years ago, interned for the Human Rights Campaign when I was in school, and don't go to church anymore(as far as they know) I haven't exactly "come out" as an atheist to any of them yet...

So today, I shared a post celebrating marriage equality on Facebook. Usually I avoid being open about anything that would be contrary to any of their beliefs. (I really just need to quit Facebook I think) and I feel I made a huge mistake. I was told that I "need to read my bible more closely" and also that they "thought for the past year that I had gone to the 'other side'" whatever that means.

I know I shouldn't care what others think, but I don't understand why they have to be so vocal about how they disagree with my beliefs when I never say anything to their ignorant (and sometimes offensive) comments.

I guess I'm just looking to vent a little, connect with someone who knows how I feel, and get some advice on how to deal with these feelings that I am alone in this?
Help?

I often think I win the prize for venting. Don't ever feel like you can't vent here. Usually you'll get a ton of support. My situation is similar to yours in that not many people know I am an atheist. My wife knows, kind-of, but she thinks it's a phase. A few other close friends (maybe 3) and the good people of the two forums I post in.

It can be a very lonely place and that's why you need to connect with people in here or other places that will help you build a foundation of friendship and understanding. Human connection is key. It's not good to make the journey on your own.

**Crickets** -- God
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29-06-2015, 05:59 PM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
(26-06-2015 05:50 PM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  I hope this is the right place to be posting this, but I feel so alone today. I have 1 person (just ONE) that knows what I do (and don't) believe, and that is my sister. But she lives a 2 hour drive away. Pretty much everyone else, a few friends, family members are conservative Christians.

Feel for you there. Most of my family knows that I am an atheist and they are all overwhelmingly christian. I don't know a single free thinker outside of here. It is nice to see others and what they are going througg and that I am nowhere near alone although I would appreciate good conversation.

(26-06-2015 05:50 PM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  I already feel like I am the definition of a "failure" to my whole family. I'm a single mom, I am in full support of my sister who came out lesbian a few years ago, interned for the Human Rights Campaign when I was in school, and don't go to church anymore(as far as they know) I haven't exactly "come out" as an atheist to any of them yet...

They may not view you as a failure so don't be so sure about that. They may view you as a "lost sheep" or "struggling" or someone who "just hasn't known the love." You don't owe them anything in being yourself. Just make sure that if you decide to tell them, you are damn sure as there is no going back.

(26-06-2015 05:50 PM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  So today, I shared a post celebrating marriage equality on Facebook. Usually I avoid being open about anything that would be contrary to any of their beliefs. (I really just need to quit Facebook I think) and I feel I made a huge mistake. I was told that I "need to read my bible more closely" and also that they "thought for the past year that I had gone to the 'other side'" whatever that means.

One of the reasons I go to FB maybe once a month.

(26-06-2015 05:50 PM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  I know I shouldn't care what others think, but I don't understand why they have to be so vocal about how they disagree with my beliefs when I never say anything to their ignorant (and sometimes offensive) comments.

This is pretty typical in my experience. If they "witness" to you, it is almost viewed as a favor. If you reject or disagree, YOU are the one with the attitude problem.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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29-06-2015, 07:48 PM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
I wouldn't say much more than what you've already said. Your mother is clearly digging in her heels and is unable to see matters from your perspective. If you continue pointing out her hurtful behavior, you may certainly feel better, but almost as certainly, it will be at the cost of the relationship with your mother. If that is valuable to you, don't risk it. If it isn't, go ahead ... but be ready for a knock-down drag-out, because she's clearly signalling her prioritizing her faith over her worldly relationships with her daughters.

If I were in your shoes, I would block her Facebook posts so that I wouldn't see them in my feed. And if she asked me in person why I wasn't replying, I would refer her to your well-stated objections in your posts, and tell her that if she wants to have the conversation about not listening, then she should be prepared to answer for her own oblivious behavior.

But aim to simply block her posts, and don't let her get the rise she clearly wants. If it goes beyond that, you have to decide for yourself what is more important, your mother or your outlook, because I have the feeling, from this distant vantage, that she will not change her views.
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29-06-2015, 07:51 PM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
I can so relate. I am married to a christian because we were both christian when we got married. I just recently told my wife that I am atheist and of course she did alot of crying. She seems to be okay but I think shes in a state of denial even though I do not goto church with her anymore. Anyhow if you need someone to talk too feel free to private message me or email me. I could use support as well because only a couple of people in my life know about my atheism and I know very few atheist. That is why I joined this forum.
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29-06-2015, 08:44 PM (This post was last modified: 29-06-2015 09:09 PM by dancefortwo.)
RE: Feeling so alone today...
(27-06-2015 05:46 PM)Banjo Wrote:  Your mother's tactic of turning the fault back on herself is typical of Christianity. They say they are sinners while sticking the knife in. Makes them feel better about themselves. Fucking hypocrites, every last one of them.

I highly recommend you read up on the Bible. An easy way to learn of how evil the bible is is to visit sites such as Evilbible.com.

It takes virtually no effort but will arm you with fuel to fight the fires of stupidity and ignorance coming your way.

Good luck.

Sounds like we had similar upbringing, Banjo, with no religious indoctrination. It's hard to believe this but I didn't even know there was a god concept until I was around 11 years old and even then I didn't pay much attention to it....too busy being a kid.

When I was in college I decided that, by golly, I was going to read this here famous book, the bible. My jaw dropped when I came across some of the rubbish in it. I was stunned that it was something people held in high regard. Really??!!

If a movie director made the bible into a movie and included everything, and I mean everything in the bible, from the god condoned raping, baby bashing, decapitation, murder, polygamy, slavery, penis mutilation, burning flesh, hangings and millions drowned, the movie would be rated XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

If it had recently been written and the author was trying to get it published for the first time with all the aforementioned genocide and hate in it, no publisher would accept it. It would slide across a publisher's desk and he or she would throw it right into the trash can. Where it belongs.

It's a horrible book. Just horrible.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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01-07-2015, 12:09 AM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
(26-06-2015 05:50 PM)EditingBeauty Wrote:  I hope this is the right place to be posting this, but I feel so alone today. I have 1 person (just ONE) that knows what I do (and don't) believe, and that is my sister. But she lives a 2 hour drive away. Pretty much everyone else, a few friends, family members are conservative Christians.

If you're willing to watch me wrench on motorcycles half the day and work on my computer (while procrastinating on heathen websites) the other half of the day, you're welcome to come hang out at my place...

...because it sounds like we're neighbors. *sigh*

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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01-07-2015, 03:59 AM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
(29-06-2015 08:44 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Sounds like we had similar upbringing, Banjo, with no religious indoctrination. It's hard to believe this but I didn't even know there was a god concept until I was around 11 years old and even then I didn't pay much attention to it....too busy being a kid.

When I was in college I decided that, by golly, I was going to read this here famous book, the bible. My jaw dropped when I came across some of the rubbish in it. I was stunned that it was something people held in high regard. Really??!!

If a movie director made the bible into a movie and included everything, and I mean everything in the bible, from the god condoned raping, baby bashing, decapitation, murder, polygamy, slavery, penis mutilation, burning flesh, hangings and millions drowned, the movie would be rated XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

If it had recently been written and the author was trying to get it published for the first time with all the aforementioned genocide and hate in it, no publisher would accept it. It would slide across a publisher's desk and he or she would throw it right into the trash can. Where it belongs.

It's a horrible book. Just horrible.

Well I was sent to a catholic school early. But I had already dismissed a child's illustrated bible that showed other people, for no apparent reason, after Cain and Able were born. I thought it stupid. I was about 4.

So I began at that school aged 4 1/2. By early 8 I had left school and was working part time on an airfield in the bush and living in a community that only had 14 houses.

I attempted to go back, aged 13 or 14, to a school called E.R.A. which stood for Education Reform Association. It had no rules and students were expected to be responsible for themselves. It was a private school and I paid my own tuition. But I never attended class and was asked to leave after causing some trouble. Including stealing the school's yacht and wrecking it while trying to sail it down a flooding river with one other mate, Jeremy.

Then I ended up back in the bush. Spent much of my childhood away from cities and returned only from time to time for very short periods. I was a bush or beach kid. So spent my time working and hunting, or working and fishing and surfing. I also ran away up north. I have memories of it but feel they are a little suspect.

I did have a close call with a very large shark while aged about 12 or 13... Don't recall exactly. Then at 16 I called my mother, who had tried to kill me a few years before by strangulation. (One of the reasons I headed north.) And she was really sick. So I made my way back to the city and she did not recognise me. After convincing her it was me, I got yet another job and helped support her. I did this for several years while working as a blacksmith, a musician and a professional martial artist who made a bit of extra cash fighting.

My history is a bit different to most and I am still trying to piece it all together. If I survive my illness I will try to write an autobiography. Or perhaps make a movie about it. I have family in that industry who could help.

Either way there was little mention of god. Oh that is not true. I attended a small catholic school in the bush where the teacher abused the students. I left right away and just worked. My working life began at 8, I had 21 full time jobs by age 18, and some had been as a boiler maker, fisherman, hunter, labourer, demolition man, house mover etc etc etc... I have had 29 broken bones. Most caused by workplace accidents as a child.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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01-07-2015, 08:12 AM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
Banjo - Do it! I would love to read that book. Or see the film.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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01-07-2015, 10:32 AM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
(01-07-2015 03:59 AM)Banjo Wrote:  
(29-06-2015 08:44 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Sounds like we had similar upbringing, Banjo, with no religious indoctrination. It's hard to believe this but I didn't even know there was a god concept until I was around 11 years old and even then I didn't pay much attention to it....too busy being a kid.

When I was in college I decided that, by golly, I was going to read this here famous book, the bible. My jaw dropped when I came across some of the rubbish in it. I was stunned that it was something people held in high regard. Really??!!

If a movie director made the bible into a movie and included everything, and I mean everything in the bible, from the god condoned raping, baby bashing, decapitation, murder, polygamy, slavery, penis mutilation, burning flesh, hangings and millions drowned, the movie would be rated XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

If it had recently been written and the author was trying to get it published for the first time with all the aforementioned genocide and hate in it, no publisher would accept it. It would slide across a publisher's desk and he or she would throw it right into the trash can. Where it belongs.

It's a horrible book. Just horrible.

Well I was sent to a catholic school early. But I had already dismissed a child's illustrated bible that showed other people, for no apparent reason, after Cain and Able were born. I thought it stupid. I was about 4.

So I began at that school aged 4 1/2. By early 8 I had left school and was working part time on an airfield in the bush and living in a community that only had 14 houses.

I attempted to go back, aged 13 or 14, to a school called E.R.A. which stood for Education Reform Association. It had no rules and students were expected to be responsible for themselves. It was a private school and I paid my own tuition. But I never attended class and was asked to leave after causing some trouble. Including stealing the school's yacht and wrecking it while trying to sail it down a flooding river with one other mate, Jeremy.

Then I ended up back in the bush. Spent much of my childhood away from cities and returned only from time to time for very short periods. I was a bush or beach kid. So spent my time working and hunting, or working and fishing and surfing. I also ran away up north. I have memories of it but feel they are a little suspect.

I did have a close call with a very large shark while aged about 12 or 13... Don't recall exactly. Then at 16 I called my mother, who had tried to kill me a few years before by strangulation. (One of the reasons I headed north.) And she was really sick. So I made my way back to the city and she did not recognise me. After convincing her it was me, I got yet another job and helped support her. I did this for several years while working as a blacksmith, a musician and a professional martial artist who made a bit of extra cash fighting.

My history is a bit different to most and I am still trying to piece it all together. If I survive my illness I will try to write an autobiography. Or perhaps make a movie about it. I have family in that industry who could help.

Either way there was little mention of god. Oh that is not true. I attended a small catholic school in the bush where the teacher abused the students. I left right away and just worked. My working life began at 8, I had 21 full time jobs by age 18, and some had been as a boiler maker, fisherman, hunter, labourer, demolition man, house mover etc etc etc... I have had 29 broken bones. Most caused by workplace accidents as a child.

Wow that's one hell of a life story banjo hang tough mate, btw I absolutely forbid you to croak it keep fighting bro coz I want to read that book
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01-07-2015, 04:26 PM
RE: Feeling so alone today...
Thanks guys. Will do.

BYW. Did the OP ever return???

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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