Female Black Atheist=Triple Social Suicide
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16-10-2012, 03:12 PM
Female Black Atheist=Triple Social Suicide

My name is Maya, age 22. College student, trying to get into law enforcement.

First of all, can I just say how refreshing it feels to be around like minded people? LOL

Let me also explain the title of my thread: triple social suicide.

1) I am a female
2)I am black
3) I'm an atheist

Need I say more?

Most of you probably already know, but when you're of African descent, it's almost impossible to live a life that DOESN'T revolve around religion, no matter what country you're from. Being black and being religious are almost synonomous with each other.

That being said, I think my parents are two of the most brilliant people in the world and I am lucky to be their offspring. They've taught me to always use my mind and think for myself. . . .except in the world of religion.
I remember my mother would regularly drag me out of bed every sunday morning to go to. . . .in my opinion, the most stereotypical black Baptist church in the country LOL
The yelling, stomping, dancing, loud singing, clapping, the shouting preacher, everyone shouting "Praise Jesus", "Thank you Lord!" and all that noise. . . and then of course, the sermon itself. Around age 15 or 16 is when my 'Bullsh*t Detector' officially started going off. I can't exactly remember what my pastor said that triggered it. . .but he would just call out other religions and beliefs as phony, i.e, Islam, Confucianism, Judaism, Buddhism (which technically isn't a religion anyway) and basically just saying that all these other beliefs were false and I sat there thinking "So what makes you think Christianity is so hot?"

I also didn't like repeatedly being told that not only as a human being, but as a woman that I basically didn't have the common sense to think for myself and I never would. I was too ignorant, too stupid, too much of a wretch to ever do or say anything without 'the Lord' telling me what to do, when and how to do it. And I hated that, and more importantly, I didn't agree with it. I've always been a free-thinker (as my parents love pointing out) and there were just things that religion just could not answer for me.

-How could the world be less than 6,000 years old if they taught us in science class that dinosaur fossils were millions and millions of years old themselves?

-How could 6-7 billion people possibly be inhabiting the planet as the result of two people (Adam and Eve) who existed less than 6,000 years ago?

-What about religions and faiths that were around hundreds of thousands of years before the onset of monotheistic religions? Did they not count?

-How is it possible that the 3 major religions all were created within the same general area (in the Middle East) within a couple of hundred years of each other? If there is only one God, why did it take him 3 seperate times to convey 3 different versions of the same basic message? But only ONE of them is supposed to be right. . . .?

But what really bothered me was just this idea that as a woman. . . .that I was destined from the beginning (according to the bible) to be a 2nd class citizen. That because of some woman who supposedly committed a major sin back in Genesis, THAT was the reason why I was going to have unbearable pain during childbirth. . .that it was my "duty" to obey my husband, that my basic reason for existing was to stay a virgin until marriage, give birth, and serve my husband and God with no other general goals.

I did NOT appreciate the idea of my life being all laid out and planned for me before I even existed. . .and to basically be told that I would have no say in anything that happened to me, good or bad. It was all "God's plan". I haven't been to church in over 8 months, my mom (being the brilliant woman she is) has caught on that I dislike church very much and has stopped forcing me to go. I have not full out told her that I don't believe in God, but I think she's catching on

After admitting that I do not believe in an invisible "sky Daddy", I have never had such an appreciation for my life as well as the lives of others. I smile more, I laugh more, I appreciate things a little more, (the smell/taste of food, the feeling of rain on my face, sitting in absolute silence, watching children play, etc). I actually feel like a human being and not like a robot or like a character in someone elses sick and twisted game.

I'm still "in the closet" but I can feel it in my bones, that I will soon reveal my belief/disbelief to my family and close friends. I don't think my family will disown me, throw me out of the house or anything like that. My aunts, uncles and cousins though my try to do an 'intervention' and treat me like I just said that I'm addicted to cocaine or something. I don't want to try to convert them or anyone else, I just want to be respected for having a brain and using it to the best of my ability, and not just believing in things because they sound nice and make me feel better.

Thanks for reading :-)
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Female Black Atheist=Triple Social Suicide - PeiPei22 - 16-10-2012 03:12 PM
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