Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
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13-02-2015, 10:06 AM
Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
I'm curious what others, especially the ladies, think of this S & M movie coming out. There are women who are protesting the depiction of a woman being so submissive and, according to them, being "abused". I believe in the story she's a virgin. Haven't read the book.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...today.html

I spent some time with a guy who was into the sadism stuff but I didn't care to fulfill the other half of the relationship so I was miserable and, yes, I felt abused. He was so into S&M that he didn't know any other way to respond to women.

Anyone planning on seeing this movie?

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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13-02-2015, 10:10 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
I'm not, but I didn't read the book. My wife read the book, but I'm not sure if she's planning on watching it. I don't think she's given a definite answer. She doesn't hold high hopes for the movie, as it will likely lose a lot from the book during the adaptation, and the writing in the book is pretty terrible. From what I understand, that book was only popular because the smut was particularly graphic, and that isn't getting ported over to the film version.

But yeah, as far as subject matter goes, I'm not really into the S&M scene, so I don't really want to watch a movie about it.
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13-02-2015, 10:19 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
Sex goes with pain about the same as honesty in politics.

Sure, some people do it, but I'm not looking for any.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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13-02-2015, 10:22 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
Well, first of all,
S&M ≠ abuse

Now, I haven't read the book and I'm not really planning to watch the movie, but I've seen the trailer and the girl seems to be enjoying what's happening.

Then again, I have no idea about the book and how that relationship could be abusive, but I suspect the reactions are mainly from people who don't know what an actual S&M relationship is like.

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-Guybrush Threepwood-
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13-02-2015, 10:29 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
50 shades certainly walks the border between kink and abuse, IMHO. She wasn't comfortable with a lot of it. But really, the biggest factor is consent.

Yes, I plan on seeing the movie. Making it a girls night out with my mom, her twin, and my cousin.

The guy I went out with the other night wants to take me to see it - I said no - I know what he's thinking. Dodgy I would have to really trust a person to give them that kind of control (it WOULD be pretty hot with the right person), even for just one night. I want my body worshipped, not beaten - and my partner would have to understand that and the fine line between pleasure and pain.

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13-02-2015, 10:41 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
My wife read the books. Now we have scarves permanently on the headboard. Big Grin

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The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
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13-02-2015, 10:43 AM (This post was last modified: 13-02-2015 10:47 AM by Blackhand293.)
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
I like BDSM. I like good books and movies. 50 Shades was a poorly written twilight fan fic with kink on top. I will not be going to see the movie, if i want to watch BDSM porn, I have teh interwebs.

The requirement of evidence to back your claim does not disappear because it hurts your feelings, reality does not care about your feefees.
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13-02-2015, 10:49 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
It's funny that sometimes the super-feminists and the hyper- conservative Christian women are on the same page when it comes to certain aspects of sex. I suppose they come to the same conclusion, but from opposite directions. The feminist want women to have their own autonomy and not be submissive to men and Christian women are submissive to men but are way too prudish to have fun with sex. Kinda weird.

Anyway, some ladies are angry and protesting this movie.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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13-02-2015, 11:01 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
Most people in that lifestyle have a love/hate thing with that book. It's brought a lot of people into the lifestyle -- in a vague abstract and rather a voyeuristic poser kind of way...which isn't very good for the community.

BDSM is based on consent. PERIOD. It always has been. Is there abuse? Yes, but just like in any relationship dynamic there's a potential for abuse.

Having said all that...and with that in mind, 50 Shades is a very poorly written book. The writer has a vocabulary of maybe 100 words all that are constantly reused to describe the various "scenes".

If a Dominant male behaved in anyway as portrayed in the book every single submissive/slave/bottom (These aren't young girls...they are experienced women) I've talked to, have all said the same thing...

RUN!

The main male character "Christian Grey" is completely fucked up in the head.

That's the biggest issue they have with the books, the writer knew NOTHING about the BDSM lifestyle and all her so called research came from a scant few sources online and maybe watching "Secretary." She never once attended a Munch or spoke to anyone who really does live in the lifestyle. She admitted she also looked at some bdsm porn in an interview as part of her research. Facepalm The slave contract thing was a complete copy/paste from the web...Someone actually posted a screenshot from the webpage that was taken down just as the book was gaining popularity.

This is all despite the fact the books are nothing but Twilight FanFic. Which is also why the characters are so one demential.

If people want to see it...fine by me...I won't....

But controversy over bdsm as being abuse is always going to have the opposite effect on what they're trying to achieve. All it will do is make people want to see it more.

Personally I really do hope it has a good weekend and goes away quickly.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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13-02-2015, 11:06 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
I can't answer this because I don't know enough but I'll tell you this... The -isms in a form of media depend on the context. If you promote and glamorize sexism (just an example, could be racism, homophobia, etc.) indirectly then it's bad, but you can show huge amounts of various kinds of violence and not promote it (the opposite could happen). Let's use the example of domestic violence:
- If a movie glamorizes it by showing that some women deserve to be hit and that hitting your spouse is perfectly ok and justified then it's bad
- If a movie shows domestic violence as something bad that makes people suffer then it's good
The movie in the OP will fit in one of the former categories. The first is sexist, the second is not.

I need to watch it first but I doubt I will since there's better movies for me to waste my time on

"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything" - Friedrich Nietzsche
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