Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
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13-02-2015, 11:28 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
Yes. Now that we have all the real problems of the world solved we can focus on fiction...
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14-02-2015, 03:15 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
When being tied up and spanked and whipped a few times counts as "abuse," I've lost all hope in erotic fiction.

50 Shades is regurgitated bile intended to make chronically bored housewives think they like naughty and "twisted" sex. Made a lot of neglectful husbands happy and a lot of publishers and producers very rich. That's about all it's good for.

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14-02-2015, 05:49 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
(13-02-2015 11:01 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Most people in that lifestyle have a love/hate thing with that book. It's brought a lot of people into the lifestyle -- in a vague abstract and rather a voyeuristic poser kind of way...which isn't very good for the community.

BDSM is based on consent. PERIOD. It always has been. Is there abuse? Yes, but just like in any relationship dynamic there's a potential for abuse.

Having said all that...and with that in mind, 50 Shades is a very poorly written book. The writer has a vocabulary of maybe 100 words all that are constantly reused to describe the various "scenes".

If a Dominant male behaved in anyway as portrayed in the book every single submissive/slave/bottom (These aren't young girls...they are experienced women) I've talked to, have all said the same thing...

RUN!

The main male character "Christian Grey" is completely fucked up in the head.

That's the biggest issue they have with the books, the writer knew NOTHING about the BDSM lifestyle and all her so called research came from a scant few sources online and maybe watching "Secretary." She never once attended a Munch or spoke to anyone who really does live in the lifestyle. She admitted she also looked at some bdsm porn in an interview as part of her research. Facepalm The slave contract thing was a complete copy/paste from the web...Someone actually posted a screenshot from the webpage that was taken down just as the book was gaining popularity.

This is all despite the fact the books are nothing but Twilight FanFic. Which is also why the characters are so one demential.

If people want to see it...fine by me...I won't....

But controversy over bdsm as being abuse is always going to have the opposite effect on what they're trying to achieve. All it will do is make people want to see it more.

Personally I really do hope it has a good weekend and goes away quickly.

Movie posters with lines form the book over them...


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[Image: tumblr_nj04xroJ8g1rjsbhwo3_500.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_nj0mmeabYA1rjsbhwo1_500.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_inline_nj2lc7bfTH1ryh89t.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_inline_nj7j67tc1h1ryh89t.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_inline_nj7j6rreZ81ryh89t.jpg]

[Image: E3WvRwZ.gif]
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14-02-2015, 06:23 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
(14-02-2015 05:49 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(13-02-2015 11:01 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Most people in that lifestyle have a love/hate thing with that book. It's brought a lot of people into the lifestyle -- in a vague abstract and rather a voyeuristic poser kind of way...which isn't very good for the community.

BDSM is based on consent. PERIOD. It always has been. Is there abuse? Yes, but just like in any relationship dynamic there's a potential for abuse.

Having said all that...and with that in mind, 50 Shades is a very poorly written book. The writer has a vocabulary of maybe 100 words all that are constantly reused to describe the various "scenes".

If a Dominant male behaved in anyway as portrayed in the book every single submissive/slave/bottom (These aren't young girls...they are experienced women) I've talked to, have all said the same thing...

RUN!

The main male character "Christian Grey" is completely fucked up in the head.

That's the biggest issue they have with the books, the writer knew NOTHING about the BDSM lifestyle and all her so called research came from a scant few sources online and maybe watching "Secretary." She never once attended a Munch or spoke to anyone who really does live in the lifestyle. She admitted she also looked at some bdsm porn in an interview as part of her research. Facepalm The slave contract thing was a complete copy/paste from the web...Someone actually posted a screenshot from the webpage that was taken down just as the book was gaining popularity.

This is all despite the fact the books are nothing but Twilight FanFic. Which is also why the characters are so one demential.

If people want to see it...fine by me...I won't....

But controversy over bdsm as being abuse is always going to have the opposite effect on what they're trying to achieve. All it will do is make people want to see it more.

Personally I really do hope it has a good weekend and goes away quickly.

Movie posters with lines form the book over them...


[Image: tumblr_nj04xroJ8g1rjsbhwo4_500-1.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_nj04xroJ8g1rjsbhwo3_500.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_nj0mmeabYA1rjsbhwo1_500.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_inline_nj2lc7bfTH1ryh89t.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_inline_nj7j67tc1h1ryh89t.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_inline_nj7j6rreZ81ryh89t.jpg]

Yeah that's pretty gross. Doesn't represent the community at all.
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14-02-2015, 06:57 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
The trouble with this book (I read a third of it when it first came out, curiosity and all) is that it is nothing like what the real B/D, S/M communities are like.

People in these communities are respectful of each other, respect "safe words", and just role play. Handled responsibly, this type of sex can be a ton of fun, letting people explore their own sexual limits in a safe environment.

Apparently the guy in this book doesn't respect limits. As for all the quotes above: was there a safe word, did he respect it, and is the verbal exchange just role play or is this supposed to be real? There are those who enjoy verbal abuse and threats as part of THE GAME. It's like living out a scary movie, raises adrenalin and hormones. Nothing wrong with that as long as there is a safety agreement where the sub can stop it all at any time with one word. Some people design elaborate plots complete with abductions etc. and play them out. The key word here is "play".

I never read the whole book because it was so very badly written. I understand in the end of the movie she says "no" and opts out, so there must have been some sort of agreement that kept things in line.

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14-02-2015, 07:49 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
Never read the books and no plans to see the movie. But, I've read comments along the lines what others have said: the BDSM community wasn't happy about these books because they felt it put them in a bad light. They feel BDSM is not about "force" but is all about consent.

Funny "Fifty Shades" story, though. My 11 year old son had a class assignment where they wanted them to draw the book cover for the book they were reading. He has a kindle and doesn't have a book cover. So, the teacher said he could draw whatever cover was on the current add.

Guess what book they were advertising?

Teacher flipped out - which didn't help the situation at all. My son had no idea what the book was or even what the cover really was showing. Her reaction only served to draw attention to it. So, he comes home and tells my wife about it. She was pretty annoyed. Her feeling is Amazon markets a lot of children's books and they work deals with schools so they know a lot of kids have kindles. So, they should know better than to push advertising for books like this onto devices. So, she calls Amazon to register her disappointment. A woman at their call center answers and my wife explains what happened. The woman on the phone says - and my wife says she sounded completely sincere - "'50 Shades of Grey'? Well, what's the book about?".

What's the book about? Has this woman been living in a cave the past few years? I can't think of any book that has gotten more coverage and been more talked about than this. How can someone in the book business (granted, just at a call center, but still) not at least know about it?

Anyway, she noted my wife's complaint but I doubt they will stop pushing advertising like that.

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14-02-2015, 08:26 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
(13-02-2015 10:06 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I'm curious what others, especially the ladies, think of this S & M movie coming out. There are women who are protesting the depiction of a woman being so submissive and, according to them, being "abused". I believe in the story she's a virgin. Haven't read the book.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...today.html

I spent some time with a guy who was into the sadism stuff but I didn't care to fulfill the other half of the relationship so I was miserable and, yes, I felt abused. He was so into S&M that he didn't know any other way to respond to women.

Anyone planning on seeing this movie?

It's a shitty book that depicts S&M in a dangerous way IMO. When people are in those relationships it should be 100% consensual and the dominant partner should be dominant by choice not as a side effect of the mental problems he's developed after a lifetime of abuse and horrors. Also, when you write about it you shouldn't make the submissive a complete dolt.

Both partners need to be sane and preferably not stupid, and they both need to be consenting to what's going on.

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14-02-2015, 09:11 AM (This post was last modified: 14-02-2015 09:17 AM by Drunkin Druid.)
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
(14-02-2015 08:26 AM)Losty Wrote:  
(13-02-2015 10:06 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I'm curious what others, especially the ladies, think of this S & M movie coming out. There are women who are protesting the depiction of a woman being so submissive and, according to them, being "abused". I believe in the story she's a virgin. Haven't read the book.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...today.html

I spent some time with a guy who was into the sadism stuff but I didn't care to fulfill the other half of the relationship so I was miserable and, yes, I felt abused. He was so into S&M that he didn't know any other way to respond to women.

Anyone planning on seeing this movie?

It's a shitty book that depicts S&M in a dangerous way IMO. When people are in those relationships it should be 100% consensual and the dominant partner should be dominant by choice not as a side effect of the mental problems he's developed after a lifetime of abuse and horrors. Also, when you write about it you shouldn't make the submissive a complete dolt.

Both partners need to be sane and preferably not stupid, and they both need to be consenting to what's going on.
Yeah but it's fiction. It didn't really happen.
Also I'd say if you write you should make the characters exactly how you intend to make them.
Besides who's to say that the characters don't represent something about the author. That's very likely to be the case. Perhaps in her fantasy she is the lady in the story. Hell perhaps she's the guy..
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14-02-2015, 09:30 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
I hope for its sake it is better than the flick 9 and a half weeks. I am pretty certain it's the worst, at least technically sound film, I have ever seen. The only terms I could describe it with is, Yuppie Porn. But it's the same plot of a wealthy hot guy taking this naive women into a romantic hold then the bsdm life of him shines out. But it's from and stereotypically 80s new york.

But both of my sisters read the book. One proclaimed the book was pretty tame, the other was shocked she happened to say that after reading it herself.. But the one who thought it was tame has read a lot more books, so potentially its in comparison to other things.

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14-02-2015, 09:47 AM
RE: Fifty Shades of......domestic abuse?
(14-02-2015 09:11 AM)Drunkin Druid Wrote:  
(14-02-2015 08:26 AM)Losty Wrote:  It's a shitty book that depicts S&M in a dangerous way IMO. When people are in those relationships it should be 100% consensual and the dominant partner should be dominant by choice not as a side effect of the mental problems he's developed after a lifetime of abuse and horrors. Also, when you write about it you shouldn't make the submissive a complete dolt.

Both partners need to be sane and preferably not stupid, and they both need to be consenting to what's going on.
Yeah but it's fiction. It didn't really happen.
Also I'd say if you write you should make the characters exactly how you intend to make them.
Besides who's to say that the characters don't represent something about the author. That's very likely to be the case. Perhaps in her fantasy she is the lady in the story. Hell perhaps she's the guy..

The argument that it's "fiction" is not really valid because what the media depicts affects our perceptions on reality. If I grow up watching TV series where the black guys are criminals or villains, I am more likely to hold negative stereotypes about black people. Not everything necessarily affects our perceptions, it depends on the context. You can create the most violent series ever and still not promote negative standards if you know how to portray values.

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